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When I was in my late teens and dreaming of the perfect life with the perfect man I always said I was going to wait. As I got older and moved out into the big world I realized that just wasn't realistic. Sex is a big part of a marriage and if you aren't compatible then chances are your marriage won't work out. Live together, have sex.....then get married. Only my opinion.
Compatable? That is the biggest lie from the devil! He wants you to think that so that you give into sex because God hates pre-marital sex.
Me. And I'm not ashamed to tell anyone that I have waited and will wait until I'm married. It is my belief that people should wait until marriage, so wait I shall .
I don't know if I contribute to the virgin stat posted by the OP though, because I'm 17.
Location: land of quail, bunnies, and red tail hawks
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I'm not going to answer the OP question because I don't believe in sharing intimacies with others unless there is a deep, compelling reason to do so. Sorry, guys, but an internet forum is just not compelling enough for me to spill my guts! However, I want to chime in on the discussion.
While I fully understand the importance of the compatibility issue, I think that's just a smokescreen for giving in to lust. Lust (healthy desire!) within a committed relationship can be exciting and lead to a fulfilling, intimate experience. However, lust for lust's sake is nothing more than empty actions which IMO usually leads to lack of control and/or lack of appreciation or respect for others.
I've heard too many married people say that their sex lives weren't anything to brag about in the early days of their marriage, but their experiences became FANTASTIC as they got to know their partners. A lifetime commitment gave them the incentive to really care about what pleased their partner. If they had taken the test drive first, they might have said "No Way!" and moved on, missing out on what they perceive as being the best thing that ever came into their lives (their spouse).
You know, it's always possible to learn how to have a vibrant sex life. Isn't experimentation half the pleasure?! However, one can never erase the memory of a previous partner, good or bad. If one has test driven other models, there's always the comparison factor. Most individuals never feel fully secure in their mate's embrace, wondering how they compare to others. Sometimes, that previous model still holds attractions that can be detrimental to a healthy relationship. Other times, the "driver" seems to think the way previous models responded will be the way the current model should respond. Why bother getting to know the nuances of the current model? Sadly, all too often the current model develops minor imperfections that leads one to seek a new, improved model rather than attempt to restore the luster on the tried and true.
Out of the people I know who've shared intimate details, it seems that those who didn't take their partner out for a test drive are happier in their marriages than those who did. Apparently, the test drivers often picked their partners for all the wrong reasons. Those who waited and chose a model for the right reasons and had faith he/she would perform might have had to overcome a learning curve, but the performance of their models ended up surpassing their wildest expectations. Plus, they are content in their marriages and secure in their loved one's embrace.
You know, it's always possible to learn how to have a vibrant sex life. Isn't experimentation half the pleasure?! However, one can never erase the memory of a previous partner, good or bad. If one has test driven other models, there's always the comparison factor. Most individuals never feel fully secure in their mate's embrace, wondering how they compare to others. Sometimes, that previous model still holds attractions that can be detrimental to a healthy relationship. Other times, the "driver" seems to think the way previous models responded will be the way the current model should respond. Why bother getting to know the nuances of the current model? Sadly, all too often the current model develops minor imperfections that leads one to seek a new, improved model rather than attempt to restore the luster on the tried and true.
Out of the people I know who've shared intimate details, it seems that those who didn't take their partner out for a test drive are happier in their marriages than those who did. Apparently, the test drivers often picked their partners for all the wrong reasons. Those who waited and chose a model for the right reasons and had faith he/she would perform might have had to overcome a learning curve, but the performance of their models ended up surpassing their wildest expectations. Plus, they are content in their marriages and secure in their loved one's embrace.
In the interests of full disclosure and honesty, June's going to just tell it like it is:
June has test driven a few models in her day. (She's also learned to bake.) June's test drives were only done sans marriage. (June does not espouse marital infidelity.) That being said, I feel compelled to respond to the above. It seems to me that June has been test driven upon occassion just as she has test driven herself. Mind you, the vast majority of these drives were not just "joy rides." --June discerns the difference between just taking that Mercedes out for the sheer hell of it, as opposed to seriously wanting to experience that car within a certain context. Even heathens can have morals. So June is thinking context, here.
As regards previous test drives, etc.: I doubt that June has had an encounter with anyone who has never test driven a car ever before. Personally, June feels that comes with the territory. However, June has never felt intimidated by the fact that someone previously test drove or owned another car. You see, June is aware of the fact that in the overall scheme of things, driving (and baking) are just parts of an overall relationship. It's not the sum total of the relationship; it's a part. Clearly, driving has a whole lot more meaning within the context of loving the car you are with. While June can certainly understand the allure of a Sunday joy ride, she is not altogether certain that such an experience would hold much meaning for her. (June is heavily into meaning.) While June acknowledges and honors what you have said above, Blueberry, regarding those you know who have never test driven before marrying, nonetheless, June has a hard time fathoming how that truly plays itself out. It seems to June that those nuances and minor imperfections are better known about in advance; that way they can be addressed and worked out. The same applies to the learning curve aspect. (Although at June's age, this is a tad more difficult to wrap her mind around!) All these aspects would exist in any intimate relationship, however, June doesn't feel that the car necessarily must be fully paid off prior to driving it. Discovering the kinks and working out the details will come in it's own good time, providing one is open to working on it. Driving is nothing if not expressive. --Hopefully lovingly expressive, as June feels strongly that one should truly love their car.
One more thing: June truly feels that driving entails far more of her soul than her mechanical knowledge of the car. So unless June is truly able to drive with her soul, June's walking. And unless that vehicle has touched and ignited June's soul, June's walking. June fully expects that before she meets her demise, that she shall once again marry. Let's face it: June just has too much life in her to think otherwise. Even at June's advanced age, no one has revoked her driver's license yet. As such, June looks to the future and that anticipated test drive prior to marriage. The same goes for marriage itself. But again, it will only be within the context of June's soul connecting to the soul of that vehicle, and visa versa. The marriage contract simply says we're filing joint tax returns. --Hopefully forever.
I did not have sex until I was married at the age of 25.
It was not difficult to do because I was very busy studying in school and getting my degree. But, still there was some temptations, everyone has them. It is just that I didn't act upon those temptations.
Sex is part of a marriage relationship, but it is not a requirement. I say that in opposition to those who say they must test drive the vehicle before they buy it. There are times even in a relationship where you cannot have sex. Recently my wife has had surgery, so what do you do in these situations? Do you have to satisfy your lustful desires? Go to the corner and pick-up a one night stand? No, if you love someone you will love them even in the times that you cannot be intimate sexually. Sex is a good gift from God, but we have to be careful and not make it into a god itself.
Out of the people I know who've shared intimate details, it seems that those who didn't take their partner out for a test drive are happier in their marriages than those who did. Apparently, the test drivers often picked their partners for all the wrong reasons. Those who waited and chose a model for the right reasons and had faith he/she would perform might have had to overcome a learning curve, but the performance of their models ended up surpassing their wildest expectations. Plus, they are content in their marriages and secure in their loved one's embrace.
Could be that wild lusty sex might hide character flaws which would otherwise be at the forefront of your attention.
Also, whatever happened to courting? I know it's old fashioned, but shouldn't there be at least some mystery and romance the first few weeks of your relationship, before you break down and do the nasty? I dunno, I always thought jumping right in the sack was a good way to make the rest of your time together seem... anticlimactic.
I'm not going to answer the OP question because I don't believe in sharing intimacies with others unless there is a deep, compelling reason to do so. Sorry, guys, but an internet forum is just not compelling enough for me to spill my guts! However, I want to chime in on the discussion.
While I fully understand the importance of the compatibility issue, I think that's just a smokescreen for giving in to lust. Lust (healthy desire!) within a committed relationship can be exciting and lead to a fulfilling, intimate experience. However, lust for lust's sake is nothing more than empty actions which IMO usually leads to lack of control and/or lack of appreciation or respect for others.
I've heard too many married people say that their sex lives weren't anything to brag about in the early days of their marriage, but their experiences became FANTASTIC as they got to know their partners. A lifetime commitment gave them the incentive to really care about what pleased their partner. If they had taken the test drive first, they might have said "No Way!" and moved on, missing out on what they perceive as being the best thing that ever came into their lives (their spouse).
You know, it's always possible to learn how to have a vibrant sex life. Isn't experimentation half the pleasure?! However, one can never erase the memory of a previous partner, good or bad. If one has test driven other models, there's always the comparison factor. Most individuals never feel fully secure in their mate's embrace, wondering how they compare to others. Sometimes, that previous model still holds attractions that can be detrimental to a healthy relationship. Other times, the "driver" seems to think the way previous models responded will be the way the current model should respond. Why bother getting to know the nuances of the current model? Sadly, all too often the current model develops minor imperfections that leads one to seek a new, improved model rather than attempt to restore the luster on the tried and true.
Out of the people I know who've shared intimate details, it seems that those who didn't take their partner out for a test drive are happier in their marriages than those who did. Apparently, the test drivers often picked their partners for all the wrong reasons. Those who waited and chose a model for the right reasons and had faith he/she would perform might have had to overcome a learning curve, but the performance of their models ended up surpassing their wildest expectations. Plus, they are content in their marriages and secure in their loved one's embrace.
I couldn't agree more with you!!!
I would also like to add that there was a survey done a few years ago that revealed an higher rate of divorce amongst those couples that had lived together before getting married compared to the couples who had not lived together before marriage. I will try to look for deatils.
Compatable? That is the biggest lie from the devil! He wants you to think that so that you give into sex because God hates pre-marital sex.
Some of us don't believe in your god.
And some of us like pleasure, mainly because it is fun!
If I'm not having fun in the backseat (to continue the analogy), I'm not going on a long trip.
Last edited by chielgirl; 04-08-2008 at 07:48 AM..
I heard a statistic that 4% of adults in america are virgins. I would only assume that out of those roughly twelve million americans, many are virgins because "True love waits." Soooo... Out of all the city-data denizens, how many of you are there? I figured the religion thread was the best place to ask.
Also, those who are currently married but have only had sex with their current spouse, you may chime in as well with your thoughts.
Everyone else, yeah you lost it a long time ago. No lurking in this thread
REPLY: Follow the out of control Sex Saturated immoral Culture and get one of 33 STD's of which 2 are fatal, become a brainwashed statistic for killing your developing baby while in the womb which occurs at 4,000 daily, acquire substantial emotional pain that no condom can prevent, and help groom young boys and girls into becoming sluts and opportunists thru spreading the destructive philosophies of our Culture. I think God knows better when he said : Wait till marriage before you go to bed with someone.
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"Any Virgins Waiting until Marriage?"
.
However, I want to chime in on the discussion.
