Can't See How My Life Has Been Worthwhile in the Larger Scheme of Things (church, Holy Spirit)
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I am a different person today than I was when I was 5. Not better in the sense of religious "better" but better in controlling negative thoughts about myself. What has really helped was letting go of the idea of obligation or the expectation of obligation, which in my opinion, has a religious basis. This is different than letting go of morality, which many religious people try to link to those who leave the faith. If I am reading between the lines correctly of the OP, it seems there is a sense of doing everything you can, but everyone else has remained the same.
Not necessarily, but I would think upon retrospect, that it might become obvious.
As I said before: I think a person's experiences here are solely to expand/enrich their soul . . . so egoic things like "accomplishing" things would not be important - it would be more about "learning lessons," learning more about yourself, opening your heart more, etc. (as far as I can fathom).
I don't think I have become a "better" person at all. I have probably become a worse person, just as a factor of wear and tear of this life.
It's confusing to me.
I can also see that my logic is lacking because the way I am seeing this everyone who learned lessons would evolve in this life and that would mean that you would have a bunch of really awesome old people, which is not the case.
What if the "soul" isn't so narrow and individualistic as we all tend to think it is? What if it's about a more collective expansion and whatever we human bods are experiencing contributes to something more than these individual personalities that we are currently inhabiting?
What if the "soul" isn't so narrow and individualistic as we all tend to think it is? What if it's about a more collective expansion and whatever we human bods are experiencing contributes to something more than these individual personalities that we are currently inhabiting?
I tend to think along these line, that we are more connected with one another and with non-humans than we can know as human beings. We get glimpses of it here and there.
It's everybody's favorite movie. People's faces go into shock mode when I say I have never seen it. It's mostly because I find Jimmy Stewart's voice and manner of speaking irritating, and the clips I have seen are nothing but him talking.
I suppose I should give it a shot one of these years since everyone seems to love it.
What's weird is that it's a pretty old movie, and yet I never heard of it until I was an adult.
There's a remake starring Marlo Thomas and the guy who played Honeycutt on M*A*S*H. I saw that one several times before I ever saw the original.
I am old. I believe in reincarnation. I think people contract to attend "Earth School" to learn specific things that will evolve their souls. In other words, they need certain life experiences to broaden and deepen themselves.
I can't imagine WHY I contracted to come here. In reviewing my life, I have done some really dumb things (which I have subsequently learned were dumb, but they are so mundane, I don't think it would really matter if I learned the particular things or not - I could have read a book and learned the particular things I was dumb about instead of wasting a lifetime to learn them).
I have also helped a lot of people (like put time, effort and money towards their well-being) - so I "performed good deeds" - I am not sure how to evaluate those deeds - they didn't "help" me (other than to make me more compassionate in the moment - not long term, though).
I just don't feel in my old age I am a "better" person than I was when I was five years old.
I am old too. I don't believe in reincarnation however. I also find the idea of people contracting to come to earth to learn lessons ludicrous because how do we explain children in Africa who die at age 2? What sort of lessons did they learn?
But I see my life as one huge waste primarily because for 60 years I threw my life away on an imaginary savior called Jesus and tried to follow the laws of the New Testament. I threw away a lot of money into the church plate which for me wasn't any different than ripping it up and flushing it down the toilet. When I should have been using my time to properly plan a career in a field like medicine or law and completely divorce myself from any religious influences instead I meandered around churches trying to find that "filled with the holy spirit" nonsense that of course never came about.
I will die in 10 years or less and I will consider my sojourn here on this worthless planet a complete waste, not having done anything worthwhile primarily because of Christianity but also because of a lot of bad choices I made.
I am old. I believe in reincarnation. I think people contract to attend "Earth School" to learn specific things that will evolve their souls. In other words, they need certain life experiences to broaden and deepen themselves.
I can't imagine WHY I contracted to come here. In reviewing my life, I have done some really dumb things (which I have subsequently learned were dumb, but they are so mundane, I don't think it would really matter if I learned the particular things or not - I could have read a book and learned the particular things I was dumb about instead of wasting a lifetime to learn them).
I have also helped a lot of people (like put time, effort and money towards their well-being) - so I "performed good deeds" - I am not sure how to evaluate those deeds - they didn't "help" me (other than to make me more compassionate in the moment - not long term, though).
I just don't feel in my old age I am a "better" person than I was when I was five years old.
God has made me a better person thru His Son Jesus Christ, but I can relate to your feelings. I've tried to help a lot of people, but wonder if my efforts have been in vain. Only God knows, and it won't be revealed to me in this life. Jesus can certainly relate- look how many people reject what He did for them!
I keep coming back to acceptance - accepting that I don't know and won't know until I croak - and that even if I can't see how my life has been "worthwhile," maybe there will be some surprise twist in the afterlife when you review and I will have the "aha" then.
In the meantime, my "job" is to accept the five year old me - or the essence of me that has not changed - that it was "good enough" and that I didn't need a "self-improvement project" (as described in Enneagram materials about the 1 on the Enneagram - of which I am not, but I remember that description) . . .
When you get old and do a sort of life review, it can be shocking and all kinds of regrets surface - one big one is what is perceived as "waste of time."
What if the "soul" isn't so narrow and individualistic as we all tend to think it is? What if it's about a more collective expansion and whatever we human bods are experiencing contributes to something more than these individual personalities that we are currently inhabiting?
God has made me a better person thru His Son Jesus Christ, but I can relate to your feelings. I've tried to help a lot of people, but wonder if my efforts have been in vain. Only God knows, and it won't be revealed to me in this life. Jesus can certainly relate- look how many people reject what He did for them!
Let me put your concerns to rest and lay out the vanity of your life. Jeremiah 16:19 reveals to the nations/Gentiles, that after the "day of distress", the day of the LORD, that the Gentiles will finally confess, that they have "inherited" nothing but "falsehood" from their "fathers". The path of this kind of vanity, orchestrated by the "false prophets" (Matthew 7:15), kind of leads to "destruction" (Matthew 7:13).
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