Advice? (hell, church, atheist, quote)

[AT9]

I am kind of in a pickle because I don't know how to let my family and friends know that I am not a young earth creationist. Almost all of my family and friends are hardcore right wing, evangelical, creationists. However, I have some different beliefs, but I don't know how to let my family and friends know without starting a huge argument. I am still a strong professing Christian, and I hold to the same beliefs as most of my friends and family....except evolution. I feel like if I make my beliefs known (especially to my mom), they will be really disapointed and think I'm going to hell or something. To make matters worse, they all think that I am a creationist (maily because I used to be). So I guess you could call me an in the closet evolutionist haha. I don't want to turn this into a evolution vs. creationism thread, there are already plenty of those . I would just like advice from anyone who has some. So is there anyone else who has had this problem? Or anyone who has advice? Thanks!

[freedom]

Why do you feel compelled to tell them your belief?

godspeed,

freedom

[Oakback]

strive for respect, rather than approval

[I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA]

Originally Posted by freedom

Why do you feel compelled to tell them your belief?

godspeed,

freedom

I was thinking the same thing. Why bring it up unless you want an argument.

[studedude]

Don't sell your family short. Why should a difference in belief's cause an argument? If they are evangelical Christians one of the things they should strive for is to become more like Christ. I don't remember any scripture referring to Him arguing with someone who had different beliefs. My older son has a belief system that has departed from his training as a child. I still love him. He knows what I believe. Constantly pointing out where I believe he's wrong will only drive him away. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. I just enjoy his company and wait for him to get old.

[cncracer]

I would suspect they already know. When you are close to people they seem to know by osmosis. I know when I was young I went through the anti Church phase, by the time I came back from the service, and was in college I am sure they knew. The subtle statements I made as I went through a list of religions looking for a fit LOL. I now know there was no fit, and I am not the only one in my family who felt that way. It is funny, to a different extent, we all seem to have our reservations about religion. Just be your self it works better than being what someone else wants you to be.

[Marks]

I would think that if your confident in what you believe you would have no problem mentioning it to others.

[GCSTroop]

I'm not sure if I'm the right person to give you advice. I was brought up in a family that always taught me to really think for myself and always encouraged critical thinking skills. They never had a problem with whatever conclusions I came to even if they may have disagreed or not understood.

Now, that of course, doesn't really help you. I can't help but feel as if you've painted the picture that your family is closed-minded. Please, forgive me if I'm wrong, it's just that that is the way you make it seem. With that being said, I don't see why you even need to profess your understanding of evolution to them. I honestly don't see how "Christianity" and "Believer in Evolution" become anticedents. For what it's worth, from this atheist, I don't think it makes you any less of a Christian. In fact, it makes me respect you a bit more in knowing that there are people that can examine real evidence and come to a conclusion on their own while holding onto their faith.

I suppose the best thing I can recommend to you is a book by Ken Miller. It's called Finding Darwin's God. Ken Miller is simply a brilliant biologist, but he also holds an extraordinarily propensive belief in the Christian god and perhaps you may be able to garner some insight into why and how having a belief in Christianity should not be hindered by an understanding of evolution. I myself have not read the book yet but it is on my "To Read" list. I have heard fantastic reviews about it from many who are in a similar position to yourself. I hope that helps.

[Blueberry]

Will your parents be disappointed? Probably.
Will they think you're going to hell? Not if they have their theology right.

I agree with Studedude about not selling your family short. Parents know their children will grow up and inevitably have different opinions about some things. It shows the child has matured enough to stand on his own two feet. Differences on the "minors" of theology are not reasons for divisive argument. The differences may provide some interesting discussion, maybe even debate, but that's more of an iron sharpening iron kind of thing.

Your parents will probably be more disappointed if you pretend to be something you're not. Trust is important in a relationship, and they probably prefer honesty over pretense. I know I'd be grieved if my child felt she couldn't confide in me, even if she knew the information would disappoint me.

All that being said, it may not even be necessary to tell them anything. Of course, if this is a BIG topic of conversation in your family, it's better to get things out in the open. However, much controversy can be avoided by simply keeping the mouth shut as long as you don't feel like you're violating any principles by doing so. There are all kinds of topics I keep quiet about unless I'm asked my opinion point blank. Even then, I sometimes choose my words carefully to avoid fruitless arguments. It's never necessary to deliberately insult others, add fuel to a fire, or pour salt into an open wound. Sometimes, the loving act is to remain silent, even about issues you're passionate about. If you can remember the command to honor your parents (whatever your differences), you'll be doing well.

[GCSTroop]

OK, I just can't let this go.... I went back and read my previous post and realized I did not spell "antecedent" correctly. It was too late to edit my post and it is bugging the heck out of me. Ok, there I'm done. Sorry to interrupt your regularly scheduled program.