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Do you mean mourning period before or after physical death?
I mean the pain and suffering those of us who loved my father endured for far too long before his death, and then after his death too, though in some ways by then it felt more like a relief than mourning. Pretty significant combination of lots of feelings that were not easy to contend with and a little too long to endure. Especially for my mother (who just turned 91 this week) and still deals with depression going back to those times...
"Life goes on" however, and we all eventually move on from the pain and suffering until things ease up a bit. Ideally anyway, for most of us. Until the next bout of pain and suffering I suppose. All that always reminds me to make the most of what time we have and what good fortune we can appreciate, especially with our loved ones, while we still can.
Then too, unfortunately, for others the pain and suffering is too much. People break. Any source of help or comfort that helps people through the tough times is worthwhile. Especially for some who might otherwise not make it on their own. Doesn't matter what you call that help or comfort or from where it comes.
I mean the pain and suffering those of us who loved my father endured for far too long before his death, and then after his death too, though in some ways by then it felt more like a relief than mourning. Pretty significant combination of lots of feelings that were not easy to contend with and a little too long to endure. Especially for my mother (who just turned 91 this week) and still deals with depression going back to those times...
A psychologist I saw from time to time said that after dementia or other long illnesses the death is very often a relief, as it should be. The caregivers and others who provided support had quite a burden for quite a long time. The ability to be able to undertake other tasks and projects is itself a relief.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LearnMe
"Life goes on" however, and we all eventually move on from the pain and suffering until things ease up a bit. Ideally anyway, for most of us. Until the next bout of pain and suffering I suppose. All that always reminds me to make the most of what time we have and what good fortune we can appreciate, especially with our loved ones, while we still can.
The expression that supplements "life goes on" is "this too shall pass." I just found out it is a Persian adage.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LearnMe
Then too, unfortunately, for others the pain and suffering is too much. People break. Any source of help or comfort that helps people through the tough times is worthwhile. Especially for some who might otherwise not make it on their own. Doesn't matter what you call that help or comfort or from where it comes.
Hopefully, in many cases, others leap in to provide support so that doesn't happen.
A psychologist I saw from time to time said that after dementia or other long illnesses the death is very often a relief, as it should be. The caregivers and others who provided support had quite a burden for quite a long time. The ability to be able to undertake other tasks and projects is itself a relief.
The expression that supplements "life goes on" is "this too shall pass." I just found out it is a Persian adage.
Hopefully, in many cases, others leap in to provide support so that doesn't happen.
Yes. I'm one to say "this too shall pass" at times...
I also like to say "that which doesn't kill us, God is curious to find out."
I was raised Catholic and I think religious education through grammar school (grades 1 to 8) is a good thing for children and pretty much all the religious instruction a person needs. That's probably true for people raised Jewish as well. At that point a person is old enough to chart their own spiritual path. Generally speaking that does not necessarily mean active participation in a church on a regular basis.
I raised my three children Catholic and they went to public schools and religious instruction on Saturdays through the 7th grade when they received confirmation. The same is true for my grandchildren. After that they stopped going to church.
As an adult I have availed myself of the church for weddings, baptisms, first communions, confirmations, funerals and (when I was in hospital) the last rites. I am a believer, but don't feel the need to participate in regular church services at all. I say my prayers every night. I believe in God and the saints and even that the souls of the departed live on in my mind. I pray to all of them. I'm 75 and have been doing that all my life.
If as an adult you need a church to tell you to believe in God, then you really don't believe. Churches are actually a business, the same way medicine and the courts and schools are a business. In all cases, the needs of the people making a living in those businesses are the first priority. Family and friends (and co-workers before I retired) is all I have needed.
P.S. The link to the article you mentioned is expired.
This post made me think of some points I want to address.
I converted to Catholicism when my kids were teenagers. They went to the teen version of confirmation and all that (they were already baptized). I did not force them to attend. I did, however, tell them that as long as they were under 18 and lived in my house, they would attend church of some type each week, and they did.
I believed and still believe that parents should instill basic tenets of whatever they believe in their children and then as adults, children can and should re-evaluate and regroup and believe what they choose to believe. I mean, that's what I did and it worked well for me and is still working well, and I continue to grow and morph as life reveals more and more truth to me over time.
Out of the four (who are all now adults):
1 (38) is even more strict about Catholicism than I am (for instance, she attends Latin Mass and is part of a Catholic homeschooling group). She and her husband are both very strong Catholic Christians and very good parents.
1 (36) is spiritual but not religious - she is married to a non practicing Catholic (42). I don't know that they will ever fully return to the Catholic Church but they are good parents and I know she believes in basic Christian theology.
1 (34) was what we call a lapsed Catholic but is slowly finding his way back to the Church and I believe he will eventually fully return to the Church. He's in the military and has "Roman Catholic" on his dog tags and has always believed in the Christian God and generally believes in Catholicism but has had some questions over the years. His wife is not Catholic but would probably become Catholic if he insisted. She's Korean and actually though she says she's a Christian there's a lot of Korean mysticism and Shinto elements to her faith. He and I actually talk about faith a lot and he's just about "there" now and reiterates to me that he considers and has always considered himself to be Catholic.
1 (32) is agnostic now. He's not married but is living with his long term girlfriend, who is from a Catholic background but I believe is also agnostic now. I do know that he is not an atheist and that they didn't throw away a crucifix I recently sent them! LOL they sent me a thank you for it and said it reminded them of their childhoods which was nice.
I don't need a church to tell me to believe in God, and that's not why I attend Mass AT ALL. Just for some clarification.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 10-15-2021 at 09:17 AM..
I was raised Catholic and I think religious education through grammar school (grades 1 to 8) is a good thing for children and pretty much all the religious instruction a person needs. That's probably true for people raised Jewish as well. At that point a person is old enough to chart their own spiritual path. Generally speaking that does not necessarily mean active participation in a church on a regular basis.
I raised my three children Catholic and they went to public schools and religious instruction on Saturdays through the 7th grade when they received confirmation. The same is true for my grandchildren. After that they stopped going to church.
As an adult I have availed myself of the church for weddings, baptisms, first communions, confirmations, funerals and (when I was in hospital) the last rites. I am a believer, but don't feel the need to participate in regular church services at all. I say my prayers every night. I believe in God and the saints and even that the souls of the departed live on in my mind. I pray to all of them. I'm 75 and have been doing that all my life.
If as an adult you need a church to tell you to believe in God, then you really don't believe. Churches are actually a business, the same way medicine and the courts and schools are a business. In all cases, the needs of the people making a living in those businesses are the first priority. Family and friends (and co-workers before I retired) is all I have needed.
P.S. The link to the article you mentioned is expired.
I agree on the Catholic education side of things.
This was very important to me, as well as my parents, and for my own children- who are now adults.
Also agree that one does not need to attend a church, synagogue or temple etc , to believe in and have a relationship with God.
I agree on the Catholic education side of things.
This was very important to me, as well as my parents, and for my own children- who are now adults.
Also agree that one does not need to attend a church, synagogue or temple etc , to believe in and have a relationship with God.
They are nice to have for people who want them. The lockdown monkeys, many of them on synagogue boards, have deprived us of a lot of their benefits.
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