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You are right. I agree, but one thing spending time in this forum has taught me is just how sound my Cement Theory truly is. Even when it comes to distinguishing the truth from untruths, some people are so locked into what they WANT to believe, no contrary facts, reason or logic matters to them. This is largely what brings to mind this notion of wasting time. To what end do these discussions lead other than everyone continuing to believe what they believed beforehand regardless?
So rarely does anyone "move the needle" for anyone else, one really has to wonder about the time spent. Or perhaps simply recognize it's all just entertainment. Or so it tends to seem to me...
My daughter struggled in school (not anymore) and the way her teacher explained it was that she needed proper "scaffolding". Sure, we "want" her to immediately get the concept but it requires so much more than just giving facts and information. There are facts and then there are preferences on how we interact with those facts. And there are many possibilities on what to do with them. Some of those possibilities lead to dead ends and we can see people marching down that path. Others lead to being very productive paths and we want to jump on the bandwagon. When people speak, first and foremost they talk about how they prefer to view the world. Those of us who can relate can communicate with ease. Those who cannot but would like to probably need to go back and listen to the first steps that were taken that led them there.
Thanks, Learnme, for taking the time to respond to my posts. I appreciate that.
My daughter struggled in school (not anymore) and the way her teacher explained it was that she needed proper "scaffolding". Sure, we "want" her to immediately get the concept but it requires so much more than just giving facts and information. There are facts and then there are preferences on how we interact with those facts. And there are many possibilities on what to do with them. Some of those possibilities lead to dead ends and we can see people marching down that path. Others lead to being very productive paths and we want to jump on the bandwagon. When people speak, first and foremost they talk about how they prefer to view the world. Those of us who can relate can communicate with ease. Those who cannot but would like to probably need to go back and listen to the first steps that were taken that led them there.
Thanks, Learnme, for taking the time to respond to my posts. I appreciate that.
Likewise elyn, a pleasure...
My Cement Theory applies to pretty much all of us after we get through our "formative years." I loosely say that's once we get through our twenties. Youngsters like your daughter are another matter entirely. What I've been describing is the confirmation bias that "cements" our thinking, opinions and beliefs to the point of intractable as we get older. Our core beliefs that we "cement" once we get past our twenties.
Signing off now, so until the next time, a nice weekend to you and yours!
My Cement Theory applies to pretty much all of us after we get through our "formative years." I loosely say that's once we get through our twenties. Youngsters like your daughter are another matter entirely. What I've been describing is the confirmation bias that "cements" our thinking, opinions and beliefs to the point of intractable as we get older. Our core beliefs that we "cement" once we get past our twenties.
Signing off now, so until the next time, a nice weekend to you and yours!
True. We are the sum of everything that we have experienced.
True. We are the sum of everything that we have experienced.
except no, what we "experience" does not define us or create us or determine who we are.
a person is not their "experiences"
any more than a person is their "job" or their "income" or their "education" or their "test scores" or their "bank account" or the property they own or their "fame" or their "appearance."
none of those is "who we are"
a child just born is "who they are" without ever doing having or experiencing anything.
Last edited by Tzaphkiel; 03-20-2022 at 08:07 AM..
except no, what we "experience" does not define us or create us or determine who we are.
a person is not their "experiences"
any more than a person is their "job" or their "income" or their "education" or their "test scores" or their "bank account" or the property they own or their "fame" or their "appearance."
none of those is "who we are"
a child just born is "who they are" without ever doing having or experiencing anything.
That we are the sum of our experiences, and set like cement in our twenties! is a terrifying thought. That is not my experience and that is not what I observe among the people I know.
This terrifying “theory” leaves no room for growth and maturity. Consider George Wallace, a determined and dreadful racist, who apologized publicly for his acts in his old age, and changed.
We never stop learning and growing.
Yet, and yet, this thread and OP is proof that there are always exceptions. There are minds in cement apparently. A pity indeed, when one can break free.
True. We are the sum of everything that we have experienced.
In the sense that a sum is an aggregate composition of what we have experienced, this would be true. That composite is what we would call our character or our "spiritual body." The movie "Shallow Hal" is a way to visualize it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tzaphkiel
except no, what we "experience" does not define us or create us or determine who we are.
a person is not their "experiences"
any more than a person is their "job" or their "income" or their "education" or their "test scores" or their "bank account" or the property they own or their "fame" or their "appearance."
none of those is "who we are"
a child just born is "who they are" without ever doing having or experiencing anything.
But a person IS their character. A newborn's character is merely a template in which its actual character will be formed by its experiences and its responses to them.
except no, what we "experience" does not define us or create us or determine who we are.
a person is not their "experiences"
any more than a person is their "job" or their "income" or their "education" or their "test scores" or their "bank account" or the property they own or their "fame" or their "appearance."
none of those is "who we are"
a child just born is "who they are" without ever doing having or experiencing anything.
Maybe this too is not so black or white...
Obviously our experiences shape who we become in life. Experiences that in many ways shape our way of thinking. In some cases for the better and in other cases for the worst. The fact that victims of child abuse will often become abusers themselves when they get older is a rather stark example that comes to mind.
Then too there is all else we might consider when it comes to who we become and what we come to think and believe. Are we critical thinkers for example? Or do we feel our way through life? Perhaps some combination of both? Do we have good well working brain cells, or do we have a "screw lose" here and there? Needless to say, all that makes a person who they are includes more variables than anyone can list here, but at a minimum we can and should recognize we all tend to "beat to a different drum." For all variety of different reasons.
In large part this is what makes people the interesting creatures they are!
In the sense that a sum is an aggregate composition of what we have experienced, this would be true. That composite is what we would call our character or our "spiritual body." The movie "Shallow Hal" is a way to visualize it. But a person IS their character. A newborn's character is merely a template in which its actual character will be formed by its experiences and its responses to them.
the truth of who we are has nothing to do with the experiences a person has.
we come into the world intact. nothing we say, do, think, experience or accomplish while incarnated in human form has any effect to shape or change or form or alter in any way the truth of who we are. who i am remains intact (whole and complete) no matter what the ebb and flow of human experience brings.
a person is not their "character"
any more than an actor playing a role in the theatre is the "character" they are playing.
that is not the truth of who they are.
the truth of who we are has nothing to do with the experiences a person has.
we come into the world intact. nothing we say, do, think, experience or accomplish while incarnated in human form has any effect to shape or change or form or alter in any way the truth of who we are. who i am remains intact (whole and complete) no matter what the ebb and flow of human experience brings.
a person is not their "character"
any more than an actor playing a role in the theatre is the "character" they are playing.
that is not the truth of who they are.
The bolded..."has nothing to do with the experience a person has"? So how did my sister and I --raised by different adults -- turn out so drastically different? Why did Martin Luther King turn out so different than Lester Maddox?
That we are the sum of our experiences, and set like cement in our twenties! is a terrifying thought. That is not my experience and that is not what I observe among the people I know.
This terrifying “theory” leaves no room for growth and maturity. Consider George Wallace, a determined and dreadful racist, who apologized publicly for his acts in his old age, and changed.
We never stop learning and growing.
Yet, and yet, this thread and OP is proof that there are always exceptions. There are minds in cement apparently. A pity indeed, when one can break free.
Step one: understand the theory.
Then comment.
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