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Friday was big to me for it was the last day in college. Everyone was feeling sentimental and what a great way to finish it all: Alcohol in Biology and a look at a 1957 mathematics paper all with food for us to enjoy.
I no longer have to go to college but I still need to present my physics, mathematics and biology exams(11 in total), this will be followed by a trip to canada with a friend and then Uni. I'm not too worried about the exams but it's slowly coming to me that there is going to be a massive jump in how independent I am and what is expected of me. The uni won't be so far that I wont be able to visit my family sometimes but its quiet a few hours away meaning I'm basically left to fend by myself.
At this point you must be thinking that I am worried about the change but thats not really true. The question to the first line in this paragraph is perhaps "how should I be feeling?" and not "how do I really feel?", the correct word to sum up my feelings is anticipation. You see I come from a family of latinos, some latino families are very big and mine is no exception. There are 7 uncles/aunts just on my father side of the family, this meant that as a kid I went to the universities to see them graduate. The massive fields(made bigger because I was small at the time) and academic air to the uni left me with a deep love for them which has manifested itself over the last 4 years as uncontrollable desire to go to uni.
What I do notice is that the philosophies on what my life, growth, success and failure have been changing and might end up becoming radically different in the next few years. Since I figured that most people go through a similar stage at one point or another, I want to ask about your experiences. What was It, what changed(you), what influenced you as you were going through it(ie finding a religion) and most of all If you feel that the person after thought completely different from the person before(if so, why?)
Coos, You write some of the best posts on this forum and it sounds like you're very young. People do tend to change as they grow older but I think most of those changes are for the good and just a matter of maturing. I don't see my basic convictions of philosophy as having changed very much over the years but I was very irresponsible and somewhat reckless in my early twenties. I don't mean I was some kind of criminal, I just didn't have any other concern except for having a good time. After a few years I became someone who people could depend on.
I'm curious about your background. It says you're in the UK but you've also mentioned being latino and I think you've talked about Venezuela and South America. Are you going to school in England? Anyway, I really enjoy reading your posts and I hope that everything works out for you.
I guess I was around 12 or 13 when I 1st began questioning myself if I wanted to earn money with my art. It wasn't a 'religious' question, but back then I viewed art as something sacred; it was the only way where I felt myself safe enough to express myself.
Now I've stopped idealising art, because I've no problems with expressing myself with words, but still refuse to earn money with my sculptures, because I do not like to 'wh**e' myself.
I rather give my work to people who truly appreciate it instead of selling it to them. I simply refuse to ask money whenever I've performed a labour of love.
I guess I was never truly impressed by a university, college or any other kind of school.
You could say that I'm autodidact when it comes to things that I find important. Nobody could tell me how to do my art, which essentially means that nobody could tell me how to think. I naturally distrust any ‘authority’; luckily I've always known that my parents love me.
Even when we disagree. This has saved me several times in my life, no matter whatever else I've questioned in life: I've never doubted that love exists.
Coos, You write some of the best posts on this forum and it sounds like you're very young.
hehe well I'm just 18 which makes me a kid to most people but to my defence, Im the eldest out of all my friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy
People do tend to change as they grow older but I think most of those changes are for the good and just a matter of maturing. I don't see my basic convictions of philosophy as having changed very much over the years but I was very irresponsible and somewhat reckless in my early twenties. I don't mean I was some kind of criminal, I just didn't have any other concern except for having a good time. After a few years I became someone who people could depend on.
I see myself as having changed drastically over the last 2 years. To describe it, its like being released from some shackles just to be smashed in the head by a sledgehammer.
It's like my life was just a long linear corridor, everyday you had to go to school to be taught the subjects the school was required to teach, everyday you had to wear the same uniform with button shirt, tie, black leather shoes and of course the blazer with the school's insignia printed on it. You get laws on how you can have your hair, where you can go when free which for my last school was the back of the building quite fittingly surrounded by fences.
Then comes college and smashes that. Wear what you want, go where you please.
Examiner:You have a mohawk, 50 piercings in your nose and a tattoo on your face? Well come right in to our college, you will be welcomed by all here
Student: Whats the catch?
Examiner: The only catch is that we will take this vice, clamp it to your head and turn the crank every week
Student: cool
There was some accidental symbolism through this transition. Back then I was in the ATC which meant I was required to have short hair, dress smartly and even salute my superiors. Now the length of my hair is tenfold what it was back then, I wear baggy trousers(Americans:Pants) and now addressing my teachers by their last names feels weird.
I've always been very introverted through most of my life but that too is changing. All the people who went to college with me have influenced me severely, it seems that nowadays all we do is go to restaurants or pubs in groups of 14 and ramble on about philosophy or whatever happened last week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy
I'm curious about your background. It says you're in the UK but you've also mentioned being latino and I think you've talked about Venezuela and South America.
Well I was born in Caracas Venezuela and grew up there. I was living in north carolina when Chavez was elected but I saw my country plummet to the ground. I remember vividly the days when he was run out of the country just to have him come back a few days later. I remember being able to buy an Ice cream for 200bs(They cost about 7000bs nowadays).
At one point my parents decided it was time to leave, he got permission to work abroad, they sold our old apartment and we took off to the UK. My dad ended up having to look for a job and we spent the first few months basically living in a rented car and sleeping in travel inns. After 2 months we found a brand new house in Leamington Spa about 3 hours from London which was really nice but just like our home in NC, was unfurnished and with our dwindling reserve of money meant we really had to scrape by.
It took my dad 6 months to find a job and then things started to look up but the job was making software near London which had a really good pay but was too far from home for him to come back home weekdays. We then decided to find a new house to let(Americans:rent) and ended up in Crowthorne then Langley and now we are living in Bracknell with my parents saving up to finally have a house for them to own and last year we all passed the british citizenship exam.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy
Are you going to school in England?
Yes, I've been going to school and colleges here in the UK for the past 5 years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MontanaGuy
Anyway, I really enjoy reading your posts and I hope that everything works out for you.
Hehe thanks.
Last edited by coosjoaquin; 05-25-2008 at 03:54 AM..
What I do notice is that the philosophies on what my life, growth, success and failure have been changing and might end up becoming radically different in the next few years. Since I figured that most people go through a similar stage at one point or another, I want to ask about your experiences. What was It, what changed(you), what influenced you as you were going through it(ie finding a religion) and most of all If you feel that the person after thought completely different from the person before(if so, why?)
(I can't remember, but aren't you our resident mathematics wiz?)
Personally, I think one's openness and receptivity to change is a good thing. An eighteen year old can certainly possess his own wisdom based on his own experience(s) and insight(s). All too often I think we simply assume that those who are young are somehow less entitled to being acknowledged for, and validated for the wisdom they possess. In attempting to address your querie, let me say this:
My son left home and went off to college four years ago. He graduated last weekend. () Do I think he changed as a result of having gone off to college? Yes, I do. But I knew when I hugged him goodbye upon dropping him off that first day, that his real "education" would not just be the results of academia and field of study he had chosen to persue. If anything, I remember telling him that in his going off into the world, (so to speak) and leaving home for the first time, that the experiences he would have both in and out of those formal classrooms would contribute as much, if not more to his life and to who he was. I remember telling him that it was the time in his life to both live life, and embrace new experiences.
"Little June" went off to college never have had any formal religious education, never having been exposed to formal religion on a weekly (Sunday) basis. At the ripe old age of 8, he was a self-declared atheist. But that was also the wisdom of his eight-year-old self. --And that self evolved, expanded, and was open to taking those three Religion Courses that he needed to graduate.
I guess what I am saying is that "change" comes about most easily when one is open to it. "Learning" comes about in any number of ways; experience being the first and foremost. At eighteen you are just as much to sum total of your life experiences as June is at her "advanced middle age."
We all carry our own wisdom.
Personally, I can truly say that the years spent in college contributed to my curiosity of, and knowledge about religion specifically. (One of my undergraduate degrees was in Religious Studies.) But it was not just the formal education I obtained in those seemingly countless hours of study that contributed to whatever change I underwent or experienced. It was the questions that came about within me, as a result, that contributed to both who I was at the time, and who I am still, today.
I think it is the patience that we need allow ourselves to have; the desire to learn; the desire to grow; the openness/receptivity to all aspects of life both philosophical, religious, and otherwise that contribute to our sense of self. --Because it's not only in the answers that we have found, but in the questions that we continue to ask; the answers that we continue to seek as regards our own "wisdom." It's in living.
You will do fine, coosjoaquin, you truly will. Oh, and as regards your OP asking how you should feel? My best response would be:
Being somewhat older than you and raised in a different system... You are on the cusp of adulthood. You have shown yourself to be a thinker here. At 18, you have many paths to choose from and some will be dead-ends and some will be difficult and some will be a lot of fun. The paths you choose to take and how you react to them will form you. So, a feeling of both trepidation and exhilaration is warranted and good.
Of one thing, I am certain. Tho the paths you choose may turn your life one way or the other, you, in essence, will remain you. Your job is to discover the best you that you can be. That is leading a good life - wherever it takes you and whatever your talents may be.
I have reconnected with a few people I knew in early adulthood but lost contact with for more than 25 years. What struck me with each one is how very much the same person they (and I) were. What changed was maturity (or in some cases, a distinct lack of) layered on top of the same person I knew then. If I knew then what I know now, I would not have done some things and many things wouldn't have mattered. But you can't know at 20 what you know at 50 because some lessons have to be experienced and learned, or you don't learn them. This is what forms the essence of a life.
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I simply refuse to ask money whenever I've performed a labour of love.
I naturally distrust any ‘authority’; luckily I've always known that my parents love me.
This has saved me several times in my life, no matter whatever else I've questioned in life: I've never doubted that love exists.
