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There's nothing inherently abusive about two consenting adults having sex, regardless of love and trust.
if one is pressured to have sex when there is neither love nor trust, it is abusive. But if there is no such expectation and both know it, whatever. Consent is the operative word.
I am not entirely sure if we are still on topic. Does it matter?
There seems to be a lot of common events that you have never heard of. Maybe get out more often?
Women not reaching climax is largely a function of 2 issues - ignorance of human sexuality on the part of both men and women, and the rampant sexual repression of women by their religion - both of which are related. A woman brought up to believe sex is dirty or sinful will still have that idea in her head long after the marriage that religion thinks must occur before bothering to be educated about sex. Go figger.
And what group doggedly works to keep sex ed out of schools or to sanitize it to the point where it is useless? Still religion. And what group has the highest incidence of divorce, infidelity, and STD's in the US?
Still religion.
I have a decade of being invited into high school sex ed classes. It turns out that 16 year olds will not ask questions about sex - so I had them ask their questions on index cards to remain anonymous. The first day I did that, I went home and cried.
Sample questions from mainly Christian kids:
"My sister says I can't get pregnant if I drink a shot of alcohol right after sex. Is that true?"
"If I jump up and down on one leg for 5 minutes, I won't get pregnant, right?"
"My mom says condoms never work. Is that true?"
"I can get gonorrhea from the toilet, can't I?"
Now we have Christian girls insisting their boyfriends only have anal sex - since she has to be a virgin when she marries.....
Religion has much to answer for.
Similarly, I read an article by a woman who worked at a clinic in DC. She heard, "But I can't be pregnant. We only had sex on Sundays and my boyfriend said you can't get pregnant on Sunday." Or because they only had sex standing up. Or he was sterile, as if a 16-year-old boy knows he is sterile.
She said often the great-grandmothers of the babies on their way at that clinic were in their 40s.
And what group doggedly works to keep sex ed out of schools or to sanitize it to the point where it is useless? Still religion.
And what group has the highest incidence of divorce, infidelity, and STD's in the US? Still religion.
I have a decade of being invited into high school sex ed classes. It turns out that 16 year olds will not ask questions about sex - so I had them ask their questions on index cards to remain anonymous. The first day I did that, I went home and cried.
Sample questions from mainly Christian kids:
"My sister says I can't get pregnant if I drink a shot of alcohol right after sex. Is that true?"
"If I jump up and down on one leg for 5 minutes, I won't get pregnant, right?"
"My mom says condoms never work. Is that true?"
"I can get gonorrhea from the toilet, can't I?"
Now we have Christian girls insisting their boyfriends only have anal sex - since she has to be a virgin when she marries.....
Religion has much to answer for.
Idk where you get your information from:
Quote:
The truth, however, is a bit more nuanced. According to a 2016 study published in Psychology Today, you’re 50% more likely to get divorced if you get married at 20 years old instead of at 25. While this statistic would seem to confirm the idea that waiting to get married is better, there is a turning point after age 32.
Studies have shown that there is a “Goldilocks” zone, between ages 28 and 32, where marriages have the highest chance of success. After 32, the likelihood of your marriage ending in divorce increases by approximately 5% per year.
Most people who later divorce marry early. In fact, first marriages in the twenties are often referred to as "practice marriages."
Quote:
The new marriage norm for American men and women is to marry around the age of 30, according to the U.S. Census. Many young adults believe that marrying closer to age 30 reduces their risk of divorce, and, indeed, there is research consistent with that belief.
But we also have evidence suggesting that religious Americans are less likely to divorce even as they are more likely to marry younger than 30. This paradoxical pattern raises two questions worth exploring: Is the way religious Americans form their marriages different than the way marriages are formed by their more secular peers? And do religious marriages formed by twenty-somethings face different divorce odds than marriages formed by secular Americans in the same age group?
This study examines data from the 1991-2004 General Social Surveys and finds that religious factors are associated with the likelihood of marital infidelity. Both church attendance and biblical beliefs are associated with lower odds of self-reported infidelity. Additionally, the authors find substantial denominational variations in the odds of marital infidelity, particularly among those who strongly affiliate with their religious group.
The CDC’s data this year highlights an ongoing trend that appears to worsen each year: the STD burden is not equal within our cities. While we witness increases in STD infection across many groups, the STD burden continued to hit minority racial and ethnic groups the hardest. The fact that many of the highest-ranking cities in our study have a higher percentage of minority residents also appears to reflect this trend.
When comparing infection rates of White people to those of some minority racial and ethnic groups, the CDC data shows that dramatic disparities remain. Though non-hispanic Black people comprise approximately 12% of the total population of the country, they account for a disproportionate 32% of chlamydia, syphilis, and gonorrhea infections.
These silly sex questions are from religious children? Do you work with a religious school? If you work in public school, how to do know anyone's religion?
About those questions . . . .
Quote:
Now we have Christian girls insisting their boyfriends only have anal sex - since she has to be a virgin when she marries.....
Well, the increase rate of anal sex is from porn. I don't know how many religious girls are watching porn.
Quote:
According to Pornhub, US searches for anal sex increased 120 percent between 2009 and 2015. It's not just a highly sought-after porn genre, though—more and more Americans are giving it the old college try IRL, too. The latest data from the CDC show that 42 percent of men and 36 percent of women have tried anal at least once before, a significant increase compared to the 1990s, when just one-quarter of men and one-fifth of women had done it.
Anal sex statistics indicate that a generational change has occurred, where people born in the 1980s and later may be more comfortable admitting to or showing interest in anal sex. Silverberg attributes interest in the behavior among heterosexuals, in part, to the proliferation of pornography in the 1990s.
"I have been having sex for only 12 years, so I don't know if it was just something I didn't talk about when younger," said Tracie Egan, 29, who writes about sex and pop culture for Jezebel.com.
As with other sex trends, girls are more open to experimentation because pornography has become so easily accessible on Web sites like XTube and YouPorn, she said.
"Porn makes people more adventurous with their sex acts," Egan said. "Anal sex is sort of always considered the last frontier, pushing the envelope."
This was an actually question from when I was a kid. . However, I had sex ed before the age of the internet. Today's kids are more savvy that I was.
Quote:
"My sister says I can't get pregnant if I drink a shot of alcohol right after sex. Is that true?"
"If I jump up and down on one leg for 5 minutes, I won't get pregnant, right?"
So as I've raised children, I'll tell you that kids will say things to upset their teachers. I can't tell if these were actual questions or kids poking fun of the class. It's a coin toss!
She said often the great-grandmothers of the babies on their way at that clinic were in their 40s.
The DC article might reflect attitudes associated with poverty and bad education.
The great-grandmothers of babies seems sad.
Upon reflection, my great-grandmother had her first child (my grandmother) at age 20. My grandmother had my father at age 20.
So my great-grandmother and my grandmother were in their childbearing at the same time. In fact, my grandmother and her mother were often pregnant at the same time. My father had uncles who were the same age!
My father was 24 years old when I was born. When we went to visit family overseas. My great-grandmother was in her seventies, my grandmother was in her fifties, my father in his thirties and I was ten years old. It was a wonderful trip!
I think "great-grandmothers of the babies on their way at that clinic were in their 40s" is sad if its a reflection of their poverty. For secure middle class families, it can be great.
I blew it all by marrying in my thirties! My kids are in their late 20's will no sign of a coming marriage. Sad for me, I want grandchildren while I can enjoy them! My dog died of cancer last fall and my husband has said no to another dog. I have no dogs or grandchildren! I just look for dogs to pet while going for my daily walk!
The DC article might reflect attitudes associated with poverty and bad education.
The great-grandmothers of babies seems sad.
Upon reflection, my great-grandmother had her first child (my grandmother) at age 20. My grandmother had my father at age 20.
So my great-grandmother and my grandmother were in their childbearing at the same time. In fact, my grandmother and her mother were often pregnant at the same time. My father had uncles who were the same age!
My father was 24 years old when I was born. When we went to visit family overseas. My great-grandmother was in her seventies, my grandmother was in her fifties, my father in his thirties and I was ten years old. It was a wonderful trip!
I think "great-grandmothers of the babies on their way at that clinic were in their 40s" is sad if its a reflection of their poverty. For secure middle class families, it can be great.
I blew it all by marrying in my thirties! My kids are in their late 20's will no sign of a coming marriage. Sad for me, I want grandchildren while I can enjoy them! My dog died of cancer last fall and my husband has said no to another dog. I have no dogs or grandchildren! I just look for dogs to pet while going for my daily walk!
Parents are having children much later these days, although the baby boomer generation was probably the last one where well-educated and high-achieving married couples routinely had children in their early twenties. My father’s parents were also fairly young, at 23 and 22, when my father (the oldest of two) was born. My mother’s parents were at the opposite extreme, being 35 and 34 when their oldest came into the world.
My wife and I were 28 and 30 when we had our first child, and we’re among the youngest first-time parents among our son’s preschool/daycare cohort. Funnily enough, my mom and dad were the exact same age when they had me in the late â€80s, and even they were on the young side among first-time parents in my hometown.
I blew it all by marrying in my thirties! My kids are in their late 20's will no sign of a coming marriage. Sad for me, I want grandchildren while I can enjoy them! My dog died of cancer last fall and my husband has said no to another dog. I have no dogs or grandchildren! I just look for dogs to pet while going for my daily walk!
Our two elderly dogs will reach the clearing at the end of their paths soon, and my wife and I had been thinking this was the end for us, dog-wise, partly because we wanted to travel more in our retirement and partly because of concerns around our ability to be there for them to the end. But now as the time nears, we are already weakening. We are still very conservative around travel and socializing due to Covid anyway, and now due to inflation and other factors I've accepted a gig that will keep me working an extra couple of years, if not more. I guess we won't know until we get there ...
But ... I have 5 grandkids ranging from 5 to 20 years old and I barely know them because they live > 600 miles away and my daughter seems to think the roads only work in one direction. So, to spoil -- er, enjoy -- grandchildren requires more stars to align than simply having them.
Our two elderly dogs will reach the clearing at the end of their paths soon, and my wife and I had been thinking this was the end for us, dog-wise, partly because we wanted to travel more in our retirement and partly because of concerns around our ability to be there for them to the end. But now as the time nears, we are already weakening. We are still very conservative around travel and socializing due to Covid anyway, and now due to inflation and other factors I've accepted a gig that will keep me working an extra couple of years, if not more. I guess we won't know until we get there ...
But ... I have 5 grandkids ranging from 5 to 20 years old and I barely know them because they live > 600 miles away and my daughter seems to think the roads only work in one direction. So, to spoil -- er, enjoy -- grandchildren requires more stars to align than simply having them.
We are at the same point - we want to travel and a dog is a 15+ year commitment. I hate to think of senior shelter animals whose owners have died. Still, I look at the local rescue dogs all the time, but my husband has firmly said no.
Hardly seeing grandkids is something my friends talk about all the time! It's hard as wives are usually closer to their parents. It leaves the husband's family out of the loop. And, then there is the issue of distance. It's not easy keeping families together. Once the kids hit their teens years, forget about it.
We are at the same point - we want to travel and a dog is a 15+ year commitment. I hate to think of senior shelter animals whose owners have died. Still, I look at the local rescue dogs all the time, but my husband has firmly said no.
Consider adopting an older dog. Our neighbors have had a series of those, and they seem to not mind them not lasting that long compared to the smaller time commitment.
I'm not sure how I think about that ... it would depend on the dog I guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal
Once the kids hit their teens years, forget about it.
Yeah pretty much. It's a fool's errand trying to move even somewhat close to them. People are way more mobile now than they used to be.
I am thinking of flying to Minneapolis to visit my 2 older brothers for what may well be the last time. They are 75 and 80 years old respectively, the younger is not doing very well. Lots of moving parts to life at this point ...
The DC article might reflect attitudes associated with poverty and bad education.
The great-grandmothers of babies seems sad.
Upon reflection, my great-grandmother had her first child (my grandmother) at age 20. My grandmother had my father at age 20.
So my great-grandmother and my grandmother were in their childbearing at the same time. In fact, my grandmother and her mother were often pregnant at the same time. My father had uncles who were the same age!
My father was 24 years old when I was born. When we went to visit family overseas. My great-grandmother was in her seventies, my grandmother was in her fifties, my father in his thirties and I was ten years old. It was a wonderful trip!
I think "great-grandmothers of the babies on their way at that clinic were in their 40s" is sad if its a reflection of their poverty. For secure middle class families, it can be great.
I blew it all by marrying in my thirties! My kids are in their late 20's will no sign of a coming marriage. Sad for me, I want grandchildren while I can enjoy them! My dog died of cancer last fall and my husband has said no to another dog. I have no dogs or grandchildren! I just look for dogs to pet while going for my daily walk!
That was the way back then. My great-grandmother died of a stroke at 40 in the 8th month of her 8th pregnancy. 1927. My grandmother, her oldest daughter, gave birth to my mother the following year, when she was 21.
My mother had my sister at 21. Then the pattern ended.
But my mother died at 91 in 2020. Her uncle died a few months later, at 96.
I worked with a woman who was pregnant at the same time as her mother!
I will never have grandchildren. I have one adult child, and she is not having kids. But I have a French bullgranddog!
The DC article might reflect attitudes associated with poverty and bad education.
The great-grandmothers of babies seems sad.
Upon reflection, my great-grandmother had her first child (my grandmother) at age 20. My grandmother had my father at age 20.
So my great-grandmother and my grandmother were in their childbearing at the same time. In fact, my grandmother and her mother were often pregnant at the same time. My father had uncles who were the same age!
My father was 24 years old when I was born. When we went to visit family overseas. My great-grandmother was in her seventies, my grandmother was in her fifties, my father in his thirties and I was ten years old. It was a wonderful trip!
I think "great-grandmothers of the babies on their way at that clinic were in their 40s" is sad if its a reflection of their poverty. For secure middle class families, it can be great.
I blew it all by marrying in my thirties! My kids are in their late 20's will no sign of a coming marriage. Sad for me, I want grandchildren while I can enjoy them! My dog died of cancer last fall and my husband has said no to another dog. I have no dogs or grandchildren! I just look for dogs to pet while going for my daily walk!
I didn't have my first child until I was 34 and then had two more. I wouldn't have had it any other way. No way would I have been mentally or financially prepared before that. Sure you can still enjoy grand children as an older person. I plan to get my birthday message from the King.
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. However, I had sex ed before the age of the internet. Today's kids are more savvy that I was.
