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It's true that sex drive can change as time passes. But, I think it's ideal if you both more or less have the same libido before getting married, and the only way to know that is to have sex before marriage. Sexual compatibility is not the only thing to figure out before marriage, it's one of many.
So, if neither are virgins, and they have the same libido BEFORE they get married, it somehow means it's going to remain the same?
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Originally Posted by Frozenfire88
Having similar sex drives is important because you don't want one partner being pressured to have sex, nor do you want the other person to not get as much sex as they want. You can talk about it before marriage, but how would you know if say, you're both virgins?
They could wait until marriage to have sex, but they might have to compromise. If they're on opposite ends of their sex drive, they could meet in the middle.
Yes, they can compromise. Why would that be so hard to do?
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This can solved if you have sex before marriage.
It can be solved through conversation, too.
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Before you buy a car or clothes, you first try them out. You have to make sure it's a good fit. Are you sexually compatible or not.
People LOVE to complicate matters - such as this one - through faulty "baggage" they've picked up over time, listening to others.
The arguments are nothing more that parroted positions from others, which hold no solid ground. How good it would be for more to think for themselves (and if willing, listen directly to God / higher power directly), rather than listen to stupid people.
People LOVE to complicate matters - such as this one - through faulty "baggage" they've picked up over time, listening to others.
The arguments are nothing more that parroted positions from others, which hold no solid ground. How good it would be for more to think for themselves (and if willing, listen directly to God / higher power directly), rather than listen to stupid people.
No. It boils down to one's understanding of what marriage and sex are for. Some ponder these questions deeply, and others don't.
...Shouldn't you know if you're sexually compatible before being married?
I DO see the importance of waiting to have sex with another until you are in a relationship that is somewhat committed. We've cheapened intimacy to a large extent, over my nearly 67 years.
That said, I believe it is necessary to be sure one is sexually compatible with the person one chooses to marry, before the wedding.
My mother left my father because of incompatibility in that regard, he having little attraction to her sexually (as I learned from my conversations with her when I became an adult). She was convinced he was a closet gay. As it turned out, as I learned from my extended stay with him and my step-mother in my 20s, that was certainly not the case, or perhaps he was bisexual. At any rate, their divorce was very upsetting to me and my younger sister -- and the effects were long lasting to both of us.
Of course, people's sex drives and preferences change over time, so it is possible that it could've happened anyway.
Personally, I don't think God gives one whit about our sexual practices, as long as they are not manipulative, oppressive, or in anyway harmful to another.
No. It boils down to one's understanding of what marriage and sex are for. Some ponder these questions deeply, and others don't.
And some listen way too closely to what his or her church tells them, rather than consulting internally, and/or with God and scripture, for a higher and purer source of direction. Following man and corporate religion will always lead to inferior understandings and results. Break the bondage, and set yourself free to better clarity. And tell those priests to confess their sins for a change. It's long overdue, and you might set constructive changes in motion.
Marriage and sex are not the same. The two should not be confused.
Marriage is a sacrament, without the Christian connotation, a sacred act. A contract with the divinity as a witness. Hindu marriages are performed with fire as witness. It is for the purpose of procreation, entering the state of householders, and accepting the responsibilities as participants of a civil society.
If the focus is on matching libidos, then you have a different mindset than one for a contract of marriage. Why marry? Consensual sex is legal.
Many people live together without marriage and are happy that way. However a marriage certificate is a valuable document, to file for divorce, alimony, inheritance, custody etc. These have nothing to do with a sacred contract with the Divinity. Two different realms.
Courtship was the time during which the MANY issues of compatibility were ironed out WITHOUT engaging in sexual congress. Sad that it ceased to be a factor in choosing a marriage partner. My wife and I courted for 6 years before making the commitment. EscalaMike is a firm believer in MATRIMONY (not mere marriage) with procreation as the purpose and householder status as the goal which mirrors your concept of Divinity as the witness.
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Courtship was the time during which the MANY issues of compatibility were ironed out WITHOUT engaging in sexual congress. Sad that it ceased to be a factor in choosing a marriage partner. My wife and I courted for 6 years before making the commitment. EscalaMike is a firm believer in MATRIMONY (not mere marriage) with procreation as the purpose and householder status as the goal which mirrors your concept of Divinity as the witness.
