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Old 01-08-2024, 12:00 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
88,509 posts, read 84,688,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LearnMe View Post
When needing to fix a flat tire and finding you don't have a tire iron or car jack, it doesn't help much either, and sometimes wasting time doing things that "don't hurt" can hurt us in ways we're not always able to see or wanting to admit.
An AAA membership can go a long way toward getting those prayers answered.
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Old 01-08-2024, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LearnMe View Post
What happens is this...

The Comforter is busy comforting some people at different times and then turns to other people at other times who are in need of comforting. Something like the "Whack a Mole" game, the Comforter can't comfort everyone all at the same time, so at times we feel comfort and then next thing we know we don't.

There are many Comforters out there we should probably also note. Many kinds that work in some ways for some people. Other kinds that work in others ways for other people. Some work something like a placebo. Others work in more tangible ways. Real or imagined. Some Comforters can be good and others not so good.

Some might turn to a good bottle of Southern Comfort for example. Others don't...
Well, thanks for the Whack-a-mole Theory of God's Comfort, Reverend LearnMe! PREACH!

Another answer is that perhaps I'm just too practical minded and not good at comforting people myself, so I get back what I put in. My best friend once sent me this meme because she said it reminded her of me.

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Old 01-08-2024, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
19,956 posts, read 13,450,937 times
Reputation: 9910
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Well, thanks for the Whack-a-mole Theory of God's Comfort, Reverend LearnMe! PREACH!

Another answer is that perhaps I'm just too practical minded and not good at comforting people myself, so I get back what I put in. My best friend once sent me this meme because she said it reminded her of me.
Lol I'm put in mind of my father who was on the surface gruff / grumpy / a little dangerous to me as a kid but when I became an adult I found out a whole other side to him. He absolutely loved to write letters to people, as he was, like you, acutely uncomfortable with the touchy-feely stuff.

When he visited my prior / late wife and I shortly after our marriage he seemed quiet and indifferent / not demonstrative and my wife worried that she had made a bad impression. I said, "just wait a week or so". And then came this 10 page letter full of praise and admiration for her, welcoming her to the family, and expressing his excitement at getting to now her. My wife was completely floored, she had no idea there was anything affirming in there at all.

In the following years I bought Dad a typewriter and then a used laptop and printer and he took to them to the point that there were dozens of people, in the family, at his church, etc., who looked forward to his missives as often the highlight of their month. He wrote to everyone he met, surprising them in the classic "he's poet but don't know it" sense. He was not a gruff old buzzard but a deeply feeling man who just discovered that writing was a safe conduit for giving love and support. I think you actually do quite well in writing too.
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Old 01-08-2024, 03:18 PM
 
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MQ, that meme is hilarious! Ricky Gervais once answered a question by Stephen Colbert regarding who gives him comfort since he's an atheist and Gervais immediately replied "Dogs!" As a dog lover myself I can whole heartedly agree with Gervais that my dogs offer amazing, nonjudgemental comfort - whether it's asked for or not Their love is unconditional and always available.
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Old 01-08-2024, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
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Originally Posted by mordant View Post
Lol I'm put in mind of my father who was on the surface gruff / grumpy / a little dangerous to me as a kid but when I became an adult I found out a whole other side to him. He absolutely loved to write letters to people, as he was, like you, acutely uncomfortable with the touchy-feely stuff.

When he visited my prior / late wife and I shortly after our marriage he seemed quiet and indifferent / not demonstrative and my wife worried that she had made a bad impression. I said, "just wait a week or so". And then came this 10 page letter full of praise and admiration for her, welcoming her to the family, and expressing his excitement at getting to now her. My wife was completely floored, she had no idea there was anything affirming in there at all.

In the following years I bought Dad a typewriter and then a used laptop and printer and he took to them to the point that there were dozens of people, in the family, at his church, etc., who looked forward to his missives as often the highlight of their month. He wrote to everyone he met, surprising them in the classic "he's poet but don't know it" sense. He was not a gruff old buzzard but a deeply feeling man who just discovered that writing was a safe conduit for giving love and support. I think you actually do quite well in writing too.

Well, thank you. That is the highest compliment one could pay me. I think you know the late partner was a writer as well, and that's how we knew each other and connected in the first place. Not quite Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, but we fell in love through our words before we ever met in person.

I made my living through words, albeit some very dull nonfiction, translating engineerese into English for use in contract and project authorization documents. Now in mostly-retirement, I'm about to dust off the long-abandoned historical novel, giving myself six months to finish it, at which point I may print and burn it. But I have to finish.

I think I would have liked your Dad!
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Old 01-08-2024, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
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Originally Posted by rfomd129 View Post
MQ, that meme is hilarious! Ricky Gervais once answered a question by Stephen Colbert regarding who gives him comfort since he's an atheist and Gervais immediately replied "Dogs!" As a dog lover myself I can whole heartedly agree with Gervais that my dogs offer amazing, nonjudgemental comfort - whether it's asked for or not Their love is unconditional and always available.

I have always had cats, since my days and my commute were too long to be fair to a dog. I do have a granddog now. Animals may serve as a fine alternative to comfort and joy when the deities fail us. Or perhaps they ARE the deities. The cats certainly seem to think so.
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Old 01-09-2024, 08:53 AM
 
3,373 posts, read 1,962,433 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I have always had cats, since my days and my commute were too long to be fair to a dog. I do have a granddog now. Animals may serve as a fine alternative to comfort and joy when the deities fail us. Or perhaps they ARE the deities. The cats certainly seem to think so.
You were very kind to think of the welfare of a dog being left alone. Cats do very well on their own (thank you very much!) and we've had both cats and dogs. A "side eye" from a cat can immediately put a mere human in their place. There's no doubt who's in charge when a cat is around
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Old 01-09-2024, 09:43 AM
 
29,526 posts, read 9,700,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Well, thanks for the Whack-a-mole Theory of God's Comfort, Reverend LearnMe! PREACH!

Another answer is that perhaps I'm just too practical minded and not good at comforting people myself, so I get back what I put in. My best friend once sent me this meme because she said it reminded her of me.
Ha! Thanks for the chuckle. Good one! She's one of those who turn to Southern Comfort a bit more than they should! I'm not one to judge or preach however...

I didn't really have you in mind as a comforter let alone the Comforter AKA God when I posted my comment. Just an observation as to what a god might be up against and why sometimes people feel comforted while at other times not so much. I'll bet you are a better comforter than you give yourself credit for though. Did you not provide comfort to the loved one you recently lost?
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Old 01-09-2024, 09:53 AM
 
29,526 posts, read 9,700,562 times
Reputation: 3466
Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
Lol I'm put in mind of my father who was on the surface gruff / grumpy / a little dangerous to me as a kid but when I became an adult I found out a whole other side to him. He absolutely loved to write letters to people, as he was, like you, acutely uncomfortable with the touchy-feely stuff.

When he visited my prior / late wife and I shortly after our marriage he seemed quiet and indifferent / not demonstrative and my wife worried that she had made a bad impression. I said, "just wait a week or so". And then came this 10 page letter full of praise and admiration for her, welcoming her to the family, and expressing his excitement at getting to now her. My wife was completely floored, she had no idea there was anything affirming in there at all.

In the following years I bought Dad a typewriter and then a used laptop and printer and he took to them to the point that there were dozens of people, in the family, at his church, etc., who looked forward to his missives as often the highlight of their month. He wrote to everyone he met, surprising them in the classic "he's poet but don't know it" sense. He was not a gruff old buzzard but a deeply feeling man who just discovered that writing was a safe conduit for giving love and support. I think you actually do quite well in writing too.
It is interesting how different fathers can be and how different the impact fathers can have on their families as a result of those differences...

My father was always a loving man. Very much a family man, so high marks in that respect. He was also very expressive generally speaking. Very expressive and welcoming to my wife when she came into the picture. It was something of the other way around when it came to the woman I was engaged to before I met my wife, but that's another story. That story too, however, was because of one of my father's faults. He had a habit of offering unsolicited opinion and/or advice that eventually worked to undermine the relationship between my wife and he. Created some unnecessary issues that I know he came to regret in time. He wasn't above apologizing either, but sometimes "water under the bridge" may pass but isn't so easy to forgive or forget.

My wife, a redhead, is not one to excuse or let things go too easily...
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Old 01-09-2024, 09:55 AM
 
29,526 posts, read 9,700,562 times
Reputation: 3466
Quote:
Originally Posted by rfomd129 View Post
MQ, that meme is hilarious! Ricky Gervais once answered a question by Stephen Colbert regarding who gives him comfort since he's an atheist and Gervais immediately replied "Dogs!" As a dog lover myself I can whole heartedly agree with Gervais that my dogs offer amazing, nonjudgemental comfort - whether it's asked for or not Their love is unconditional and always available.
Dogs. Yes. The ultimate comforter! Cats not so much...
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