How Important Are Religious Beliefs Or The Lack Of Religious Beliefs When You're Making Friends? (agnostic, bible)

[I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA]

Originally Posted by Jackyfrost01

I agree with your post, just asking how do you know if they are athiest unless they flat out tell you?

Most of the time, religious affiliation never comes up in conversations (for me). And if its going to save me a pointless argument then I'll just go along with whatever they say and try to move the topic on to something else as smoothly as I can. Works for me anyways.

I know my friends well enough to know they are not atheist. God has always come up in conversation and they know how I feel and I know how they feel.

[Jackyfrost01]

Originally Posted by I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA

I know my friends well enough to know they are not atheist. God has always come up in conversation and they know how I feel and I know how they feel.

thats cool. Hopefully they are being honest with ya and not just playing along to avoid an argument. Its good to have friends you have things in common with. Good for you

[I LOVE NORTH CAROLINA]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

Thanks for all of the responses. It sounds like many of you feel the same way I do. Also, one of the points I was trying to make is that when we're posting messages on a religion and philosophy forum we're only seeing one aspect of the mostly anonymous people we're talking to and I think it may distort the images we have of each other because the only subject matter we're discussing is something that can be devisive. It's quite possible that if some of the combatants on these threads knew each other in the real world they could end up being friends because they'd see the whole person and not just a post that they don't agree with. As far as friends are concerned I like to be around people who are upbeat and have a sense of humor. I do enjoy an intelligent conversation but I also appreciate someone who can make me laugh.

Very true Montana, on here we only see one side of the person and it's easy to form the wrong opinion about someone from that. And by the way, you have a great sense of humor and I appreciate how you make me laugh

[ptsum]

You know it's interesting MG, I'm sitting here reading the different comments to your thread and thinking back over the many,many years that I have lived and of the many old friends that I have in the real world, friends that I have grown up with, friends that I have known for over 60 years and then some and the ones that I'm still close to today, one is gay, one is even a minister, a couple are very religious, and a couple are atheists, and a few are of different religious beliefs and it's interesting because among all my friends in the real world, I am the only one that is a Native American and yet for over 60 years or more our religious beliefs or non-beliefs have never interfered with our friendships, it was never a prerequisite to our friendship and what is even more interesting is when we get together from time to time, we all know each other, we have all grown up knowing each other and we accept each other for who we are and if any one of us ever needed help or comforting we would be the first ones there to help and comfort that old friend.

[Miss Blue]

I agree with Ptsum..A persons belief has nothing to do with our friendship..I never introduce myself by saying "I'm Bev, a believer..Who are you and what church do you go to?"..
I have had friends that I don't know what they believe..
I never could understand why people add a personality flaw to anyone who has different or no beliefs from them...and turn down what could have been a wonderful fulfilling friendship..
Seriously, my christian friends are no more important to me than my Muslim,Buddhist, Wiccan or Native American believers or my Atheist friends..

[Spotted1]

I don't think I've ever asked anybody I've met what their religion/belief system is. I just generally don't care what other people believe.

[Aconite]

I live in the South. Whether for good or ill, religion is an issue.
Christian homeschoolers keep to themselves. Southern Baptists and Pentecostals get all squinty-eyed when you identify as Pagan or atheist or even UU.
I don't necessarily choose my friends based on their religious beliefs, but if I know that someone is strongly fundamentalist or Scientologist or whatever, I make a point of politely letting them know up front that I'm not. Most of the time, they're the ones who end the relationship quickly.

[chielgirl]

I don't even know if my siblings are religious or not. It never comes up.

I have some very good friends who silently say grace before meals.
I have had some friends for decades and have no clue what they believe or not.

[MontanaGuy]

I worked in an office environment all of my years before retirement and when you're in close proximity to a large number of people for fourty hours a week, sometimes for years, you do end up finding out about each other's lives unless you refuse to talk about certain things. Eventually most of the people I worked with would find out I was an atheist at some point because the subject of religion would come up and I personally don't feel like my atheism is something I need to hide. Fortunately, I've never once had a problem with it and some of the people I've gotten to be very good friends with are very religious. I sat right across the aisle from a Mormon woman in Phoenix for a few years and she was always in a good mood and constantly had me laughing about some goofball thing. I was trying to think of any atheist friends I'd made at work after I started this thread and I actually can't think of even meeting a coworker who identified as being an atheist. There really aren't that many of us as far as I can tell although there's alot of people who don't consider themselves to be religious. I see that alot of the people who have posted on this thread apparently just avoid the topic of religion altogether but I never have and it's never been a problem.

[kdbrich]

Originally Posted by MontanaGuy

A couple of days ago I got a call from a ex-coworker from Seattle who I've known for about thirty years. Even though I've moved a few times we've always kept in touch and I consider her to be one of my best friends. She's a very religious black woman who enjoys the emotion and the music that has become a tradition in black churches and her faith is very real. We've accepted our differences in religious beliefs many years ago and it's not even an issue. I feel there are so many aspects that are important in friendship that religious differences seem very minor to me. Of course if trying to convert your friend to your point of view is a high priority then it's doubtful that it's going to be a long lasting friendship in the first place.
Lately when I've read so many of these threads on the forum that become contentious and insulting I get the feeling that it's turned into an us versus them sort of thing but I also think that this is often the nature of the internet because people are anonymous and we really don't know each other. In real life when people interact it doesn't tend to focus on one particular aspect of our identify such as religious belief. All of our personal traits such as our sense of humor, our honesty and the whole range of our strengths and weaknesses tends to form an overall image for each of us as a person to those who know us. For myself, I don't find that religious beliefs are at the top of the list when I'm choosing friends and in fact I also find that my atheism doesn't seem to bother my close friends who are religious at all because they've gained an understanding of the kind of person I am.
This has been a bit long winded but does anyone else feel the way that I do?

I've got friends that are non-religious. Truth be told, though...I have a bond that's closer with my Christian friends. I don't go out to the bars....I don't do a lot of stuff that the non-Christians find fun. Christ is the most important thing in my life. If I share that with a friend, it's going to draw us closer.

That's why I realized as a single man that the woman I married should be a Christian. It's just natural that 2 Christians are going to be closer and have more in common--if Christ truly is important to both.