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As you may or may not know, I have a friend that has homosexual attractions. He doesn't fit some type of "gay" description, doesn't go and throw himself out at every guy that approaches him, none of that. Most would probably mistake him for the average guy. He messed around with his cousin when he was a lot younger, but has not done anything since.
He's always wanted to get married and have children, nice car, nice house, etc. when he's older, but cannot fulfill his dream due to his homosexual attractions.
He's a Christian and believes in God with all of his heart. He's read the articles on the ex-gay ministry sites which claim to help homosexuals overcome their attraction. He's also read other sites that basically said "once a homosexual, always a homosexual." This does nothing for him, as he is more confused than before he began trying to figure out his attractions.
Anyway, the church constantly condemns homosexual acts. This is fine, except that he probably won't be attracted to women if he's attracted to his own sex (maybe it's possible, I really don't know). I really don't think it's fair to marry a woman if you can't "please" her.
He strongly believes in God, so what exactly does the church expect him to do with his attractions? Live a celibate lifestyle (HIGHLY doubt it, I mean who wants to go their entire life without having sex..human touch is good for the body and when you don't have it, you do crazy things...look at the Catholic priests). Marry a woman just to hide your sexuality? Accept it and act upon it even though it is a sin?... WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?
EDIT: I am seeking help for my friend because he said he wants to know his options. Please don't assume I'm forcing my beliefs on him, because that is DEFINITELY not the case. We're both Christians, so I decided what the heck why not try City-Data ... He knows his business is out here, but it doesn't really matter because he could live in Africa for all you guys know.. so please try and remain on topic so we can find viable solutions to this situation
Your friend needs to go see a professional and work through his own issues. Life is too short to be stumbling around blind when there are people out there trained to help a person get past the hang-ups, and bumps in the road.
As you may or may not know, I have a friend that has homosexual attractions. He doesn't fit some type of "gay" description, doesn't go and throw himself out at every guy that approaches him, none of that. Most would probably mistake him for the average guy. He messed around with his cousin when he was a lot younger, but has not done anything since.
He's always wanted to get married and have children, nice car, nice house, etc. when he's older, but cannot fulfill his dream due to his homosexual attractions.
He's a Christian and believes in God with all of his heart. He's read the articles on the ex-gay ministry sites which claim to help homosexuals overcome their attraction. He's also read other sites that basically said "once a homosexual, always a homosexual." This does nothing for him, as he is more confused than before he began trying to figure out his attractions.
Anyway, the church constantly condemns homosexual acts. This is fine, except that he probably won't be attracted to women if he's attracted to his own sex (maybe it's possible, I really don't know). I really don't think it's fair to marry a woman if you can't "please" her.
He strongly believes in God, so what exactly does the church expect him to do with his attractions? Live a celibate lifestyle (HIGHLY doubt it, I mean who wants to go their entire life without having sex..human touch is good for the body and when you don't have it, you do crazy things...look at the Catholic priests). Marry a woman just to hide your sexuality? Accept it and act upon it even though it is a sin?... WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?
EDIT: I am seeking help for my friend because he said he wants to know his options. Please don't assume I'm forcing my beliefs on him, because that is DEFINITELY not the case. We're both Christians, so I decided what the heck why not try City-Data ... He knows his business is out here, but it doesn't really matter because he could live in Africa for all you guys know.. so please try and remain on topic so we can find viable solutions to this situation
You can ask the same questions regarding alcoholics, or meth addicts, or anyone that has sex outside of marriage...any of a number of behaviors that are immoral and that society condemns.
Bottom line is that if he cares what God thinks of him he needs to abstain from doing the behavior.
As you may or may not know, I have a friend that has homosexual attractions. He doesn't fit some type of "gay" description, doesn't go and throw himself out at every guy that approaches him, none of that. Most would probably mistake him for the average guy.
You know, not to pick nits, but that's a highly offensive statement. You think the average gay guy is attracted to every male that walks the planet and approaches all males for sex? I'm gay and could easily walk though a packed gay bar and only find one, two, or even no men I was attracted to. Are heterosexual men attracted to all women? Or hetero women attracted to all men? NO! I think you're falling for the old stereotype that gay men are all extremely permiscuous.
As for his problem, sounds like his problem is that he was raised/lives in a fundamentalist environment. I'd suggest exploring other areas of Christianity, denominations that are accepting. And just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't be a parent. My partner and I have two children.
You can ask the same questions regarding alcoholics, or meth addicts, or anyone that has sex outside of marriage...any of a number of behaviors that are immoral and that society condemns.
Bottom line is that if he cares what God thinks of him he needs to abstain from doing the behavior.
Thanks again for the insult -comparing me to a drug addict. I pity the ignorance.
I know it may seem that I'm talking about myself, but believe me when I say I'm doing this for my friend. We've been friends for a while, and I try my best to help him out in any way I can. I just wish I could relate to him more and understand what he's going through better.
The question I really want to ask that no one has an answer to is: WHY? Of all the things a person has to go through, why would God put this type of pain upon anyone? I see how he struggles... And I wish there was something I, or anyone, could do for him. No one should have to struggle like this. It's like a double whammy for him: if he comes out, church people will reject him, and thus he will have a limited amount of people who care enough for him to continue to further his relationship with God. If he doesn't come out and everything seems normal on the outside, but he's hiding who he really is on the inside, it's no better.
I know God loves him, but I also know he says he wants to live in accordance with God, which is why I asked what is he supposed to do.
God doesn't put the pain on gay people. PEOPLE do! People use God, the Bible, religion to try and cotrol what they don't like.
Personally...I'd just tell him he's royally screwing himself up and be done with it.
There's no need to hide behind a word (that will only cause more confusion in the long run) when you can just tell someone he's running himself into an early grave.
Thanks again for the insult -comparing me to a drug addict. I pity the ignorance.
1. I didn't compare you to anyone. If you choose to self-identify as a homosexual, that's your choice.
You may not have bad teeth, diseases, drugs, etc that a drug addict does, but the desires are probably pretty similar.
I've talked to many gay people that tell me that they don't choose their attraction. Likewise, a drug addict or alcoholic will tell you that they can't stop if they want to.
God doesn't care one iota if someone is gay or straight. God loves your friend. Period. It's your friend who needs to overcome his doubts and insecurities. He is living in a world where people condemn for everything and that is not what God intended for us. He created us out of love for love and anything beyond that is not serving God.
Tell your friend to accept who he is and not what he is. He will then be able to make his own rational decisions regarding his sexual preference.
God created the soul twofold. This soul splits in half and each half is incarnated into a material body. The soul does not look to gender to incarnate, only if the fetus can support it. His soul is feminine and there is nothing he can change about that. He is a child of God as everone else is. If he denies this fact, he is harming his own soul.
Please clarify what type of Reverend you are, the belief in a dual soul is in direct contradiction to Christianity and is not supported by the scriptures.
Please point to ANY scripture where God creates a "soul" that is twofold and then does the things you claim.
Yes, he is a child of God and God does love him, however God will love you and shed a tear as he condenms you to Hell for living in your sins!!
This is what some will refuse to accept, God can not lie, and he has already told us the wages of Sin are death, physical and spiritual!!
Being homosexual is his cross to bear, his only alternative is not to practise it or dwell on it mentally.
The single heterosexual or married person who commits adultery is going to the same Hell as the one that practices homosexuality.
But back to you, please expound on this dual soul doctrine you have.
Last edited by reconmark; 05-01-2009 at 12:10 PM..
Please clarify what type of Reverend you are, the belief in a dual soul is in direct contradiction to Christianity and is not supported by the scriptures.
Please point to ANY scripture where God creates a "soul" that is twofold and then does the things you claim.
Yes, he is a child of God and God does love him, however God will love you and shed a tear as he condenms you to Hell for living in your sins!!
This is what some will refuse to accept, God can not lie, and he has already told us the wages of Sin are death, physical and spiritual!!
Being homosexual is his cross to bear, his only alternative is not to practise it or dwell on it mentally.
The single heterosexual or married person who commits adultery is going to the same Hell as the one that practices homosexuality.
But back to you, please expound on this dual soul doctrine you have.
He has another option - reject fundamentalist control freaks and live his life!
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... He knows his business is out here, but it doesn't really matter because he could live in Africa for all you guys know.. so please try and remain on topic so we can find viable solutions to this situation
