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Old 06-28-2009, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
7,517 posts, read 17,674,987 times
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Wife's sister attends church, listens to pretty much all Christian music, has friends that don't swear, drink or smoke and will tell anyone that she is a Christian. She has been married for "upteen years" to a former Minister, kicked him out at least once (just not getting along) and then allowed him back in and for the last few years no longer sleeps in the same bed or bedroom with him. Since he doesn't want to do any of the things that she does, she basically stays away from him as much as she can. Spends most weekends with her grand kids/their parents. One time I asked her, "So what will happen to (her husband) if you decide to move in with your daughter/grand kids?" She said, "Don't know what he will do and care less! He is on his own!" Due to her beliefs, she will not divorce him. We think her situation is definitely a "sad one". Why oh why stay with someone if you don't like being around them???
My question is this: How can she profess so much to be a Christian yet conduct a marriage like this?
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,903 posts, read 11,901,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBoating View Post
Wife's sister attends church, listens to pretty much all Christian music, has friends that don't swear, drink or smoke and will tell anyone that she is a Christian. She has been married for "upteen years" to a former Minister, kicked him out at least once (just not getting along) and then allowed him back in and for the last few years no longer sleeps in the same bed or bedroom with him. Since he doesn't want to do any of the things that she does, she basically stays away from him as much as she can. Spends most weekends with her grand kids/their parents. One time I asked her, "So what will happen to (her husband) if you decide to move in with your daughter/grand kids?" She said, "Don't know what he will do and care less! He is on his own!" Due to her beliefs, she will not divorce him. We think her situation is definitely a "sad one". Why oh why stay with someone if you don't like being around them???
My question is this: How can she profess so much to be a Christian yet conduct a marriage like this?
how would she "conduct a christian marriage" (post title) ?
what does that mean?
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:22 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,586 posts, read 5,740,930 times
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That's why it is important to not be unequally yoked with someone.

Quote:
My question is this: How can she profess so much to be a Christian yet conduct a marriage like this?
I guess my question is, is she really following what God says that a marriage is suppose to be like, if not then why? If she is not, does that mean it has anything to do with being Christian or the Christian marriage, it could just be fault of her own, and getting married to someone she might very well be unequally yoked too.
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Old 06-28-2009, 01:49 PM
 
4,669 posts, read 4,413,797 times
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Does he claim to be a Christian?
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Old 06-28-2009, 03:20 PM
 
Location: Western Cary, NC
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I know two people who come close to this relationship. They are both in their 70’s now, were married, had three children, and after about 18 years the wife had an extra marital affair. She is now living with the third person (20 years) who also has a wife in Florida and a child who died last year. With all this, the three don’t want to get divorced. The husband continues to avoid a divorce because he feels it would be a sin, the wife wants the security of two husbands and the "extra live in" is concerned over the cost of a divorce from his spouse.
As happened with all of us, the three are now in their 70’s, their health and to some extent their mental abilities are poor and getting worst. The three children are trying to clean up the issues these people made. Issues adults should recognize with just basic common sense which they overlooked and personal issues the children now have to untangle.They suffer a paranoia that one of the three way marriage would get ahead of the other and that has made things worst. It is something no adult should ever put on their children’s or family's shoulders.
I hope this is not the direction your contacts are running. It has been a nightmare for all involved trying to correct the problems, and I don’t see any letup in the near future.
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
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Don't know what her husband claims to be now, but he use to be a Minister, had his own church/Congregation but lost it all due to a larger church and then lost his desire to continue ministering. He has a PHd in Theology!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdbrich View Post
Does he claim to be a Christian?
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:49 AM
 
Location: Texas
14,076 posts, read 18,671,573 times
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Why would they live like this and still profess to be Christians?

What do you think Christian's are? Perfect? Able to escape their own human nature? Unable to sin?

No, they are none of those. They are imperfect human beings, still subject to the same temptations and failures they were before they accepted Christ. The only REAL difference is that God will forgive them if they repent (have a change of mind about their behavior and desire) and ask Him for it. He will not do so for those who have not accepted Christs' payment of their sin debt.

More often than we care to admit, there is little or no noticeable difference between the saved and lost. The difference, which is not visible to us, is their relationship with God based upon Jesus Christ.
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
7,517 posts, read 17,674,987 times
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When they met and were married for some years, everything seemed to be fine (I'm told). Somewhere/somehow, he lost most interest in things she liked to do or wanted to do. Of any photo I've taken with him in it, he is never/ever smiling! His wife (my wife's sister) made a comment to me over the phone last week about Micheal Jackson "hope he is a Christian!" and then asked me "are you a Christian?". Since I don't act exactly like she thinks a Christian should (I guess), she has asked me this more than once. I've gotten tired of hearing the question and want to say something to her about her beliefs in Christianity versuses the way her marriage is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Shawn_2828 View Post
That's why it is important to not be unequally yoked with someone.



I guess my question is, is she really following what God says that a marriage is suppose to be like, if not then why? If she is not, does that mean it has anything to do with being Christian or the Christian marriage, it could just be fault of her own, and getting married to someone she might very well be unequally yoked too.
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Old 06-29-2009, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
7,517 posts, read 17,674,987 times
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Christians are not perfect, but they darn well know what a GOOD Christian marriage should be! Wife and I sure don't have the kind of marriage that her/her husband do......it definitely could be called a Christian marriage compared to theirs!! We don't go around asking people "are you a Christian", like she does, and yet she certainly doesn't conduct her marriage like it should be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stillkit View Post
Why would they live like this and still profess to be Christians?

What do you think Christian's are? Perfect? Able to escape their own human nature? Unable to sin?

No, they are none of those. They are imperfect human beings, still subject to the same temptations and failures they were before they accepted Christ. The only REAL difference is that God will forgive them if they repent (have a change of mind about their behavior and desire) and ask Him for it. He will not do so for those who have not accepted Christs' payment of their sin debt.

More often than we care to admit, there is little or no noticeable difference between the saved and lost. The difference, which is not visible to us, is their relationship with God based upon Jesus Christ.
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Old 06-29-2009, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Northern Colorado
7,517 posts, read 17,674,987 times
Reputation: 4738
Listen, she is the one who goes to church every Sunday, writes a Bible verse in cards/letters she sends and can quote versuses out of the Bible......BUT obviously does not have a Christian marriage! The less she can be with her husband, the better she likes it and he feels the same way. That is a Christian marriage or marriage in general.......I DON'T THINK SO!!
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