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I guess it's just me, but I don't see much wrong with his requirements. He just wants somewhere to live peacefully and frugally. He'd probably be a perfect match for someone who is also retired and looking for the same kind of thing, or maybe even a med student or similar who needs to live in a quiet environment and strives to keep unnecessary expenses to a minimum.
For all the unusual craigslist ads I read, I'm sure there are equally unusual readers out there who are just waiting for this kind of living arrangement. I would have your friend (or you on his behalf) post pretty much exactly what you wrote on craigslist. I strongly suspect that someone will bite.
I think that it is as obvious as night and day that this guy needs his own place. The chances of finding a roommate that would even come close to matching is miniscule.
If this is indeed a real person and not either Phileas Fogg or Professor Henry Higgins , I'm afraid that both Passepartout and Eliza Doolittle have been taken. Good luck!
Larry - Hobe Sound, Fl
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Last edited by lcole07; 07-16-2010 at 10:43 AM..
Reason: spelling
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
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Quote:
backandforth83 : I guess it's just me, but I don't see much wrong with his requirements. He just wants somewhere to live peacefully and frugally. He'd probably be a perfect match for someone who is also retired and looking for the same kind of thing, or maybe even a med student or similar who needs to live in a quiet environment and strives to keep unnecessary expenses to a minimum.
For all the unusual craigslist ads I read, I'm sure there are equally unusual readers out there who are just waiting for this kind of living arrangement. I would have your friend (or you on his behalf) post pretty much exactly what you wrote on craigslist. I strongly suspect that someone will bite.
Cosmicstargoat: I think that it is as obvious as night and day that this guy needs his own place. The chances of finding a roommate that would even come close to matching is miniscule.
I agree with both of you. This is why it's a problem. Remember, though, he lived with his mother for a long time, and mothers are more willing to bend for their kids...even adult ones. And he doesn't want the person to be at the house during the day -- which to me is problematic because people in his age group will be retiring, and may just be at home relaxing, or gardening, or whatever. He wants someone who is working and not there. That is a criterion that is hard to meet at his age. Young working people will probably not want him as a roommate....so that is an issue.
I have suggested he do just what you said, backandforth83, but he just won't reveal all his eccentricities. Probably because, as you say, Cosmicstargoat [love that name, by the way! ], he would get more peace on his own.
I do feel guilty because I actually gave a reference for the last place, and the person who rented out to him asked if they would "get along." Well, I didn't know this individual, so all I could say is that my friend would be very quiet, wouldn't like parties, was very neat, and liked to hike and bike....and that I didn't know the man who called me, so because I had no idea what his personality was like, I couldn't say if they would get a long. Now I feel awful because I guess the man who rented to him is pretty stressed and started drinking!!! (He wasn't doing that before.)
My friend is now on the search for yet another place, this one about 200 miles from where he is now -- he uses Craigs List regularly.
On Craigs List he won't reveal all his idiosyncracies -- but, obviously, no one would respond -- or unless the perfect person was reading, but those odds are low.
Well, at least most of the replies go along with what I and others who know him think -- he'd be better off with his own place. But he is determined to find the "perfect" housemate situation.
At least I'm not out of my mind. He has tried to convince me that he is not that particular, and why shouldn't he have the "perfect" place?? For all the arguments I get against having his own place, I actually think it just boils down to not wanting to spend the money, or working on upkeep. But that's just my opinion.
After awhile with someone like that, you almost start thinking they're not as weird as you first thought -- but you have confirmed my suspicions, and others who also find him impossible to live with.
Well, I guess he will do what he wants, and I just feel sorry for those who take him in and are not aware of his requirements.....
Thanks, everyone. Looks like he has to be honest with his ads and be specific about his needs, or get his own place.
wants to room in a larger house with someone who is preferably not there during the day, so that he has privacy during the day, and they're only there in the evening – or not at all
I would like to suggest something, but I honestly have no idea.
The reality is, the more demanding one is, the less likely is the possibility of one tolerating living with roommates.
One day your roommate might forget/leave a dirty glass on the sink.
One day your roommate will come home in the evening and his (small) noise will wake you up.
One day your roommate will take a longer shower and you will, if cheap, complain about the water bill cost.
Living with roommates is a very complicated thing. There is a countless number of things that might irk one who is not ready to compromise.
Some people are just not fit for it, and I believe your friend might be one of them.
Maybe he will be better off by living in a smaller/more affordable place, but by himself.
I'm guessing that there's a reason that he was living with his mother until she died - she very likely either was the only person who would put up with his eccentricities, or she created (and probably shared) them.
I agree with all of those who said that he needs to live by himself, if he is unable or unwilling to adjust his eccentricities to the reality of living with another human being not inclined by giving birth to him to put up with them. Living with other people by definition requires compromise.
Also, that it's not your problem and you are absolved, at this point, from trying further to assist someone who, from the evidence presented here, can't be helped.
Your friend may be a nice guy, but he sounds like he feels entitled. He wants a nice quiet home with nobody there that he doesn't have to buy or take care of other than his room. He has rarely worked, yet has specific expectations. And all he likes to do is play.
He needs to pull up his big boy pants or get a cave or a new mommy. I can't think of anyone who would want any part of that. Sorry. I think he has an impossible goal.
If I were you, I would stay out of this or he may end up at your house.
He is very neat to the point that not many people could live up to his standards –
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he hates dishes in the sink
,
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does not want to see any grease splatters on the stove
, does not cook much except to steam food, like veggies. He wants the laundry done a certain way. He likes everything orderly.
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He is also very sensitive to light
(no lights into his bedroom, as he can't sleep and won't wear a sleep mask),
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can't live in a downstairs apartment because people walking upstairs disturb him
(he calls them heel pounders and he doesn't like earplugs),
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he does not like to have the TV or radio on at a level that he can hear it if he does not want to listen to it.
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He could not live on a busy street with lots of traffic noise,
and not in a place with a building nearby that has lights or bright street lights. He does not like parties or lots of people over.
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He mostly spends his days hiking or biking, and during the evening reading, listening to radio shows or using the computer.
He loves a good bargain and will go out of his way to find a deal.
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He loves to drive, so he often takes long day trips.
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He also wants a place in a town with good biking paths, a liberal population, good weather, little crime, moderate temperatures
Okay, tell him to give me a call , lol ! No actually some of his quirks I have too highlighted in dark above...
I hate dishes in the sink ..and so on...
Thats why I am not crazy about a roomate situation. I am sure I would be miserable. So would he.
My suggestion : He rents a Private Entrance Only Room for $ 500 a month with utilities included.
If its his own home , he creates a doorway to the room . If he is leaving his home and going to find a room situation this is the ONLY way that would work for him.
Nobody has to talk to anybody. You do your own thing. Only way I could do it.
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], he would get more peace on his own. 
(He wasn't doing that before.) 
