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As a long term renter, who has lived in some of the noisiest cities of the world, I have built a tolerance to living with noise in an apartment.
After reading many threads here with the same common complaints with noise, there is always on idea that someone always mentions.
Bring your new neighbor cookies, a pie, and introduce yourself.
While I agree, it is good to be on a friendly basis with your neighbors, such as saying hi at the mailbox, or while coming out of the building, bringing food or a welcoming gift to a new neighbor seems odd to me.
First, I don't want to have a conversation with my neighbors. Been there and done that, and sometimes it was ok, for the most part it ended up being more than I cared to deal with.
Second, when the relationship of building residents begins with one giving something to the another, it seems it would lead to problems. I like my privacy, and to me, this is the start of a friendship I don't care to have. Therefore, I would not be thrilled you brought me cookies, or you came to introduce yourself so quick. Then the person bearing the gifts would be mad that they got the cold shoulder, and thus the possibility of a bitterness from the beginning.
My advice: Don't go knocking on doors with cookies and punch expecting to befriend your neighbor in hopes of later complaining to them about noise.
For the most part, people who complain about noise are too sensitive to begin with, and from what I have read here, there are very few cases that actually warrant a complaint. And before you flame me for being that guy making all the noise, that's not me.
PS: This has never happened to me, and I hope no one brings me baked goods upon moving in.
As a long term renter, who has lived in some of the noisiest cities of the world, I have built a tolerance to living with noise in an apartment.
Good for you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrEarth
For the most part, people who complain about noise are too sensitive to begin with, and from what I have read here, there are very few cases that actually warrant a complaint.
Who are you to judge what others perceive is too noisy for them as invalid?
It's like people judging others with diseases and telling them, oh it can't be that bad, suck it up!
Many years ago it wasn't uncommon in many suburban areas for the official "Welcome Wagon" to greet new neighbors. The package would, as I recall, contain gift certificates to local businesses, maps of the area, some cookies, etc. Maybe in some areas the WW still exists - I'd be curious to know!
The world has changed a lot and, like you, I wouldn't feel comfortable if a complete stranger came to my door purporting to be a neighbor and bearing gifts. Normal interaction with one's neighbors allows one the opportunity to slowly gauge them and form a cordial relationship, akin to dogs sniffing around each other before deciding whether to be buds or not!
To take gifts to someone with the intent of working towards complaining to them about noise strikes me as very sinister.
Who are you to judge what others perceive is too noisy for them as invalid? It's like people judging others with diseases and telling them, oh it can't be that bad, suck it up!
Many years ago it wasn't uncommon in many suburban areas for the official "Welcome Wagon" to greet new neighbors. The package would, as I recall, contain gift certificates to local businesses, maps of the area, some cookies, etc. Maybe in some areas the WW still exists - I'd be curious to know!
The world has changed a lot and, like you, I wouldn't feel comfortable if a complete stranger came to my door purporting to be a neighbor and bearing gifts. Normal interaction with one's neighbors allows one the opportunity to slowly gauge them and form a cordial relationship, akin to dogs sniffing around each other before deciding whether to be buds or not!
To take gifts to someone with the intent of working towards complaining to them about noise strikes me as very sinister.
I can see that happening in suburbs, because most people probably own their houses, and most likely have some space from the neighbors.
But in an apartment building, where people come and go, and everyone is in the same space, it would do more harm than good.
There is always someone in each noise thread that suggests to bring something over to the neighbors. Maybe it was the same person. I don't remember.
As a long term renter, who has lived in some of the noisiest cities of the world, I have built a tolerance to living with noise in an apartment.
After reading many threads here with the same common complaints with noise, there is always on idea that someone always mentions.
Bring your new neighbor cookies, a pie, and introduce yourself.
While I agree, it is good to be on a friendly basis with your neighbors, such as saying hi at the mailbox, or while coming out of the building, bringing food or a welcoming gift to a new neighbor seems odd to me.
First, I don't want to have a conversation with my neighbors. Been there and done that, and sometimes it was ok, for the most part it ended up being more than I cared to deal with.
Second, when the relationship of building residents begins with one giving something to the another, it seems it would lead to problems. I like my privacy, and to me, this is the start of a friendship I don't care to have. Therefore, I would not be thrilled you brought me cookies, or you came to introduce yourself so quick. Then the person bearing the gifts would be mad that they got the cold shoulder, and thus the possibility of a bitterness from the beginning.
My advice: Don't go knocking on doors with cookies and punch expecting to befriend your neighbor in hopes of later complaining to them about noise.
For the most part, people who complain about noise are too sensitive to begin with, and from what I have read here, there are very few cases that actually warrant a complaint. And before you flame me for being that guy making all the noise, that's not me.
PS: This has never happened to me, and I hope no one brings me baked goods upon moving in.
I introduce myself to new neighbors when they move in, and let them know who I am, which unit I live in, and that if they need anything or have any questions about the neighborhood they can feel free to ask.
That's the end of it unless things progress organically. Some people want to know their neighbors, some don't. In 2 properties with 10 units, everyone knows each other and talks to each other except for one couple, and that's fine- they want to keep to themselves, and everyone leaves them alone. No one cares one way or the other.
I have two neighbors that I trade food with all the time (we're all ladies living alone who like to cook), one elderly neighbor who regularly gets shuttled to the grocery store/ etc. by me or another neighbor, and one neighbor who constantly locks herself out of her apartment (seriously, like once a week) so two of us keep extra keys for her. But that's all happened over the course of several years, as people got to know each other naturally.
Everyone else is on a "hi, how's it going" basis, except the aforementioned couple who don't speak to any of us.
Point is, no one's tries to force anything, and if someone did, or was overly agressive towards a neighbor (bringing them gifts, watching them come and go, finding sneaky ways to try to engage them in conversation, making references to their personal life as a way to "get to them") that wasn't interested in being friendly, we'd be creeped out.
Being friendly is one thing. Trying too hard to be "friends" is weird.
I lived in a very nice, upscale apartment building where the apartments were almost sound proof. Every one was pretty respectible to each other, even the two brothers next door that would crank up the stereo when no one was around they always turned it down at a certain time knowing people would be comming home. No one complained, they did it on their own. I myself am a music junky, but I also have some respect for my neighbors.
Then junior just graduated in college and moved in all the way down the hall on the other side of the Hallway. I was literally, BOLTED out of bed at 3 a.m. by the live concert version of Highway to Hell by AC/DC. I couldn't believe it. I banged on their door and asked him to be more considerate and noticed if he had just rearranged the place and pointed the speakers inward to the apartment instead of toward the door that might help the problem. I had called the office and told them of my suggestion and she told me I needed to call the sherrif's department and they would come out and site them then they would tell the office. After three complaints from the sherrif's department they could legally evict them on the spot.
This cocky little ass stops me in the parking lot one day after work explaining to me it's a blow off release beause that's the way they do it in the dorms at Kent State University and I reminded him this wasn't the dorms at Kent State and if he wanted to live in an 'adult' building then it was time to grow up and be more considerate.
I was home ill during one day with a debilitating migraine headache and in my kitchen could hear every instrument and lyric to Elton John and Kiki Dee singing...it was the other roommate. Good lord. These apartmments were almost sound proof so you can just imagine the decible level. To hear it all the way in the back of my apartment in the bedroom was just unacceptable.
The little twit who gave me the dorm lecture, got his three 3 a.m visits from the sherrif's office and consequently was evicted.
I used to live above a nightclub that didn't close until 5am. The bass used to lull me to sleep.
Oh, I lived up above a store and bar too at one time and I knew what to expect and the rent reflected that at the time. But the place I am posting about was way, way a different circumstance than that and the rent reflected it. Junior should have gone back to the dorms or lived above a bar.
When taking food to a new neighbor and welcoming him/her, I think most people not necessarily want to bring a complaint on the side, but many would like to exercise something called "good manners", which is more and more rare these days.
One has to be ready, however, to be greeted with a nice "thank you" or a cold shoulder, and go on from there. It is absolutely possible to be kind and welcoming without imposing on/being obnoxious to people. This is plain good sense.
If one gets a nice "thank you", one might not have found a new best friend, but at least a neighbor who does not have necessarily have to be a complete stranger.
IMO it is nice to know that, in case of need, or an emergency, people can count on each other. That does not mean they have to share a cup of coffee every day.
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