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Im gonna try to keep this short. I started another thread under Brevard county before i saw this thread. My first thread is longer. Anyway, i divorced my husband a few years ago after he started an affair with a neighbor, among other things. I moved out, rented a house and he moved to NY with his girlfriend. After 3 months he wanted to come "home" and i stupidly let him, hoping he learned a lesson and changed. He didnt. Hes been unemployed since 08 and still isnt working. Hes been with me since july '12. He has no money, job, car, friends, family, nothing. But me. How can I evict him? He is NOT on my lease. I feel bad because he will be living in the woods! But i cant live like this anymore! HELP!!
i wouldnt have the heart to throw a roommate out into the woods, and it makes it difficult because at one point in your life, this man was your husband and u cared deeply for him. i believe that u might still care for him and have an emotional attachment to him and thats why its hard to give him the boot. i say this:
give him an ultimatum.. for example say to him "in 60 days, if u dont find a job and start contributing to this household, it will be in our best interest if you pack up your bags and move into a shelter."
let him know that you REFUSE to live this way any longer.
thats a good old fashioned shape up or ship out approach.
put your foot down. let him know who runs the show.
good luck.
...i divorced my husband a few years ago
...he wanted to come "home" and i stupidly let him
He is NOT on my lease.
Stop talking and start acting. Cut the cord.
First thing tomorrow morning go to the Court House to file for eviction.
When there ask the lady clerk where the line is drawn...
as you may not need to do more than change the locks and set his stuff out by the road.
If the formal process is required... get it started.
Then ask him nicely (one last time) to get out before the judge forces it.
Once all his stuff is out and the locks are changed... ask a buddy to load his stuff up
and tote it *and him* down the road a piece. Deep into the next County at least.
Where they stop is not your concern.
i wouldnt have the heart to throw a roommate out into the woods, and it makes it difficult because at one point in your life, this man was your husband and u cared deeply for him. i believe that u might still care for him and have an emotional attachment to him and thats why its hard to give him the boot. i say this:
give him an ultimatum.. for example say to him "in 60 days, if u dont find a job and start contributing to this household, it will be in our best interest if you pack up your bags and move into a shelter."
let him know that you REFUSE to live this way any longer.
thats a good old fashioned shape up or ship out approach.
put your foot down. let him know who runs the show.
good luck.
Thank you for your post and your understanding. Yes, obviously i DO still care, which is why, even after all he did to me, i let him come back. And why it is so hard to kick him out. Im one of those stupid people, even tho I know better, who makes ultimatums but doesnt stick to it. My life would be happier and easier if he were gone. Ive just about lost my family over this. I felt so big and strong and proud of myself when i left him. No one believed i had the b@lls to do it. And now i am back in the exact situation!
First thing tomorrow morning go to the Court House to file for eviction.
When there ask the lady clerk where the line is drawn...
as you may not need to do more than change the locks and set his stuff out by the road.
If the formal process is required... get it started.
Then ask him nicely (one last time) to get out before the judge forces it.
Once all his stuff is out and the locks are changed... ask a buddy to load his stuff up
and tote it *and him* down the road a piece. Deep into the next County at least.
Where they stop is not your concern.
I know, i know. Youve said what every one else has told me. And he is very resourceful, he would prob end up on his feet anyway. Just needs a kick in the pants. But i dread the thought of filing something, giving him 30 days and have to live with him during that time. Hes not abusive but does have a temper. He will either be yelling and swearing, begging and bargaining or crying and accusing me of ruining his life. Either way i will feel like a ******. Obviously, i can be a weak person. Or an idiot as my sister calls me!
I know, i know. Youve said what every one else has told me. And he is very resourceful, he would prob end up on his feet anyway. Just needs a kick in the pants. But i dread the thought of filing something, giving him 30 days and have to live with him during that time. Hes not abusive but does have a temper. He will either be yelling and swearing, begging and bargaining or crying and accusing me of ruining his life. Either way i will feel like a ******. Obviously, i can be a weak person. Or an idiot as my sister calls me!
let me ask you this, is this deadbeat worth being homeless for? If your landlord finds out he living there, you'll be given notice to get him out and if you don't, you'll get evicted.
First, you must give him WRITTEN 30 day notice to move out. Send this via certified mail from the US Post Office. Keep the proof of delivery card outside your home so he doens't find it and throw it out.
In the 30 day notice to move out, just give the date he must be out and put '30 day notice' on the top for subject. Put the address where he lives when explaining he has 30 days to move out and remove all of his belongings.
if he isn't out after 30 days, THEN ....
*** Because YOU are a renter, it's possible that only your landlord can evict. I think your landlord would be required to evict YOU. The landlord cannot only evict 1 person that's not on the lease.
It might be wise for you to pay him $500 lump sum to move out by a certain date. Offer it to him verbally. This might help him for security deposit or 1st month rent. He could rent a room somewhere...look in craigslist. people rent out rooms in their home. Sometimes by the week. You can point him to a rental. Or let him live in the woods. He's NOT your problem unless you allow it.
Maybe you find some legal aid for renters that can guide you about FLORIDA law on this matter and what you can/cannot do on this matter regarding getting him out of your rental home. This is a tightrope to follow state law because you aren't the landlord. You can end up with an eviction on your record, just trying to get him out.
Thank you for your post and your understanding. Yes, obviously i DO still care, which is why, even after all he did to me, i let him come back. And why it is so hard to kick him out. Im one of those stupid people, even tho I know better, who makes ultimatums but doesnt stick to it. My life would be happier and easier if he were gone. Ive just about lost my family over this. I felt so big and strong and proud of myself when i left him. No one believed i had the b@lls to do it. And now i am back in the exact situation!
it felt empowering to leave him because he was cheating behind your back with your neighbor. you dont have to throw him out if ure heart is too big, but u CAN set an ultimatum. be strong with it, stick to it and when u feel like youre gettin soft, remember all the messed up things your ex husband did. and remember how good it felt to have the ball$ to leave him.
u left him because u stood up for yourself. do it again.
the reason i say to set an ultimatum is so when that 60 days comes and goes and he is still unemployed and not looking for work and living on your couch watching tv like he aint got a care in the world, u WONT feel bad to kick him out. you gave him enough warning and enough time and he took you for granted and didnt respect you enough to take you seriously.
when and if that happens, game on. thats when u change the locks, and hold a yard sale for all his stuff lol ..or you can just throw all of it in a box, leave it outside with a note that says "hasta la vista, baby."
First, you are NOT stupid. This kind of thing happens A LOT, often for very good reasons, like kids, illness or other legitimate concerns that really do make sense to consider. It is a whole lot easier to say "throw the bum out" then it is to find the time to actually make this a legal / law enforcement issue. You can't just expect cops to show up and toss him into the street, that does not even happen on "reality shows"... You'd be living a nightmare for a period if you just set a ticking bomb with no preparation. That is not a wise way to move forward.
Depending on what sorts of alternatives you looked at PRIOR to the divorce maybe there are ways to make things better without getting all "SWAT TEAM" on your life -- I know it sounds crazy but I have heard folks that literally pay for their ex to go on vacation /move to another city. If you do this so it coincides with expiration of your lease you could also "start over" someplace that he is not aware of. I probably makes some sense to thing about getting some kind of help from therapists or counselors -- ideally somebody that would help to reinforce the message to each of you, either separately or together.
let me ask you this, is this deadbeat worth being homeless for? If your landlord finds out he living there, you'll be given notice to get him out and if you don't, you'll get evicted.
Take Rantionals advice and talk to the courts.
My landlady knows he is here. In fact when i signed a new lease she actually put his name on it but i told her not to. I dont want the both of our names on anything together. So that isnt a worry. In fact, she would probably help me if i needed it. I just need a kick in the @ss to do it.
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