Neighbor will not leave my child alone (apartments, tenants, renter)

[Heart]

I'm a very seasoned renter, I've been renting for 16 years and have never had this problem, so I thought I'd gather some opinions.

We moved into our downstairs apartment 10 months ago. It's just me, my husband and our 10 year old daughter. There are two other small families living in our six plex. Each couple has one or two children.

A woman moved two doors down from us 3 months ago. On the very first day, she told our daughter, who was playing in the front of our door on the grass, that she does not want her to play near her door, in front of her apartment, or on the side and back of her apartment. I overheard her saying this, so I walked outside and introduced myself and welcomed her to the neighborhood. She repeated what she had said to my daughter, and said she would appreciate it if the kids basically stayed away from her area. I thanked her for letting me know, and that it would not be a problem. You see, I understand..... some people do not want children around and that's fine, however, why move into a six plex where there are children if you don't want them around?

In the front of our building is a grassy common area with a small court yard that has wrought iron tables and umbrellas for all tenants to sit at. In the back, there is another large grassy area with a small swing set and slide with picnic tables.
Amazingly, all the parents in our building are right on track when it comes to disciplining and watching our children. No one here let's the kids run wild and do what they want, we all kind of have an unspoken rule about that which is why I love living here. I'm very much a disciplinarian and do not allow my daughter to run wild and do as she pleases, and disrespect other people.

Over the past two months, this woman has yelled at my daughter over the smallest of things. The first time, my daughter had left her bike laying on the grass in front of our apartment, and she didn't like that, so she told my daughter to kick stand the bike on the sidewalk. However, the manager has asked the kids to put the bikes on the grass to keep the sidewalk clear for pedestrian traffic.

My daughter was playing hide and seek in the back yard with the other kids, and the woman came out and told them all to go inside because she didn't want to hear them anymore. This was at 7 pm in the evening.

I don't want to list every incident, but the one that pretty much did it for me was a few days ago, when she yelled at my daughter and accused her of knocking over a plant on her porch. We had some very high winds overnight that knocked a lot of things over, but for some reason she thought my daughter did it.

I went to her door to try and speak with her, and she put her hand up in my face and told me she was not going to talk about this and that I needed to correct my daughter's bad behavior, then slammed her door.

My LL is not the type of guy who likes petty things like this. He's a great LL but when it comes to these types of things, I just know that he does not want to be bothered.

How do you deal with a neighbor like this? I really do not want there to be all of this hostility in our building, and would like for us to get along. Unfortunately she has already angered a lot of the other parents in the building and the tension is running high.

Thanks.

[Heart]

Also, please do not get me wrong. I'm not one of these parents who thinks my child is a special snowflake and does no wrong. So I'm not really one of these parents who flip out and get angry when someone says my kid is misbehaving. I just prefer to be the one to correct it etc.

[sware2cod]

Tell your daughter to walk away when this woman comes out to complain. Just stay away from the lady as much as possible.

Too bad you don't have a home with a private yard for your daughter. As a child, I grew up living in apartments and I can tell you that it was awful. I hated not having a yard and not having a place to play like a normal kid. I also had some neighbors that didn't like to hear bouncing balls or kids playing. I longed for my parents to get a home. Finally when I was a teenager they got a home. But I still remember being a kid being stuck in an apartment without a yard.

[Heart]

Thanks Sware. We're saving money right now to buy a home, but it's going to take some time. I also grew up in apartments and hated it. There's always that feeling of not having your own yard. I'm very accommodating to other people because I understand the difficulty of apartment living.

[Heart]

In addition to all of this, my husband wants to write this woman a note and ask her to please leave our child alone, that he considers it harassment for her to yell at our daughter, and to come and speak with us if she has a problem.

In my experience, sometimes a letter is like throwing gasoline on a fire.

[sweetness8t5]

IDK... you tried to be civil... maybe you gotta get crazy. And have the other parents to back you up.

Im getting mad just thinking about it... how horrible it must be to always get blamed and yelled at when it's not your fault and youre following the rules.

We currently live in an apartment cul-de-sac type place and have kids running around knocking on our door, but there are kids being kids... my husband was telling me the kids like the play a little joke on him when he's taking out the trash... they'll say "hey, hey" from their window thinking he'll look around.. but he just points and looks right at them... they just start laughing afterwards... just kids being kids.

I think you should maybe involve your landlord because I would almost say this is borderline harassment. Picking on poor kids. Or maybe over load her with kids playing near her door to make her want to move, lol

[ETex2]

You need to let this woman that you consider this to be harassment and you will not tolerate it. She is walking all over your, your child, and your child's rights. Either move away or stand up for yourself; there are really no other choices. After 16 years, perhaps you should look into buying your own place if you can.

[manderly6]

Maybe have all the parents talk to the LL. If you present a unified front so to speak he will address the problem. Sometimes the person who complains first gets what they want. I would be concerned this person is going to start complaining about you.

[BirdieBelle]

You have been as nice as you can be, maybe even more nicer than most.

First, be absolutely CERTAIN that your daughter is not doing anything to provoke the woman.

Then, if she yells at your daughter again, go over to her and tell her that she is not to speak your child again, that she appears to be harassing your child, and that you will call the police if she does it again.

[Squirl]

I was an apartment kid until the 3rd grade. Loved living in a community where all the kids shared greenspace and it was a hard adjustment for me when my folks moved to a single family home where all the houses had fenced private yards. If its a nice place with friends and her parents living with her, you are giving your child a wonderful life!

The woman has issues that are not your fault and you will not be able to resolve them. Tell your daughter that this woman has personal problems and doesn't want to interact with children. Who knows, maybe she had a child once and wasn't able to keep it, or maybe she is jealous of people who have kids. Whatever the reason, she has kid issues and your daughter is old enough to learn that there are some people we won't ever know well enough to understand...who are unfriendly...and the best we can do is give them a wide berth. I suggest you have a conversation with your kid and tell her that she must avoid this person, but that doesn't mean she has to take any nastiness for the lady and she must tell you if this neighbor is unfriendly to her in anyway.

Then I wouod go over to the neighbor and tell her to her face exactly the same thing. Advise her if you learn she has interacted with your daughter in any negative way your will react and come over to air out any unpleasantries.