Advice on high energy child in apartment (apartments, house, legally)
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Hi, we live in a large home that has been turned into 4 apartments, 2 apartments upstairs and 2 downstairs. The house is very old so there really is no insulation for noise. I have a VERY active 6 year old. She runs alot, jumps, bounces, etc. In our old apartment it wasn't a problem because there was nobody below us. Now, the downstairs neighbor makes complaints continuously. We have tried to accommodate her as best as we can. We've tried to ask her what hours she works/sleeps (which changes throughout summer/winter) and have designated quiet times for my child during these hours. The floor is very squeaky and it doesn't matter who is walking on it, there are loud creaky noises. The neighbor claims that my fiance and I aren't the problem when we walk on the squeaky floor, it's our child who makes 'so much noise that her walls shake'. So now I have to try to remember and be very conscious of my child's every movement. Essentially, she's asking that my child never run, jump or bounce. While I understand that we need to be as respectful as we can, there are just going to be times when I am not going to be able to control this. I understand during sleeping hours, but what about during the day when everyone is awake? I can't live my life trying to make sure my child never runs in the house (she mainly runs down the hallway to her bedroom), because I will literally have time for nothing else. She's got more energy than 5 people put together.
A little background on this neighbor, she's probably mid 50's, single, has 2 grown daughters and lives alone (no pets). She's very fussy, neat, and likes everything to be a certain way. She started complaining before we even moved in, when my fiance parked near the stairs to move some furniture up to our apartment. Apparently he parked in 'her spot' (nobody mentioned parking to us, there's no signs, etc. and he was only parking near the stairs for a few minutes to unload heavy objects), so she blocked his car in, and came outside and told him that it was 'her spot and she doesn't like to share'. That was our first encounter with her. A squirrel got onto our deck and spread dirt and birdseed all over, which fell through the cracks of the deck and she got upset about that, so we explained what happened and cleaned it for her. I have gone out of my way to make sure NOTHING falls on her deck. She has complained about the noise several times, the landlord told us about it once but hasn't said anything since. I think he knows that she's fussy.
My question is...at what point does it become a fine line of kissing someone's a** who is never going to be happy no matter what you do? And what is the point where we are just being insensitive to her comfort? I do agree that we should try to be as quiet as we can, but it seems now that if my child slips up and jumps off something the neighbor is going to lose it on us. It's an old house, she chose to live on the first floor, my daughter is high energy and squirrels sometimes get into things and make messes. I feel this lady is being overly sensitive (no complaints from any other neighbors). She doesn't seem like a very happy person in general and I believe that she would be upset over the birds chirping. I am not sure of what to do... we just moved here, spent alot of money planting a huge garden out back, and can't really move right now. Advice?
While she may be a cranky neighbor, she shouldn't be expected to tolerate a rambunctious child's "pitterpatter." I'd suggesting moving if at all possible.
Do you have rugs? If not, you might want to get some.
Also, have everyone take off their shoes when they are at home. That should make for a bit less noise.
Take your child out to the park to play and let her run around there as much as you can. Is there a yard? If so, perhaps you can put a small trampoline (the kind we use indoors, not the usual ones), out there and let your child jump? I would not allow my child to jump off the furniture indoors at all.
Do you have rugs? If not, you might want to get some.
Also, have everyone take off their shoes when they are at home. That should make for a bit less noise.
Take your child out to the park to play and let her run around there as much as you can. Is there a yard? If so, perhaps you can put a small trampoline (the kind we use indoors, not the usual ones), out there and let your child jump? I would not allow my child to jump off the furniture indoors at all.
We all take our shoes off (no shoes on the carpet!) at the door, the whole apartment is carpeted. There is a huge yard that my daughter spends nearly all day playing in. But in the mornings when she wakes up (around 8:00-8:30), she wakes up excited and happy, and runs into my room. We have a king size bed and because it's so tall when she hits the floor it makes a 'thud' noise. We don't allow her to jump on furniture. But sometimes she just likes to jump, for no reason, just on the floor when she's playing. It's not all day, it's a couple of times and it's in the middle of the day.
No matter what, in an apartment you are going to hear the noise of other people. That's part of living in an apartment, and your neighbor needs to get over it. As long as your child isn't being obnoxiously loud and disruptive, and you are taking reasonable measures to be courteous which it sounds like you are, there's not much more you can do. She can get earplugs, or look into a senior living facility where she wouldn't have to worry about any kids.
I live in an apartment, and I've dealt with the normal kid bouncing, skipping, occasional running overhead. It really isn't that disturbing. I can also hear adults walking around (all hardwood floors) so I'm used to it. I've also had a neighbor who sounded like she let her grandchildren jump from the bed to the floor or stomp or rollerskate and all manner of disruption. That's totally different. The way I see it, your neighbor doesn't have much of a complaint. She can't demand your child not move. If she doesn't like noise over her head and wants total solitude, she's the one that needs to look into moving...NOT you.
I am betting this old house is MUCH creakier and more echo-y than most traditional apartments. To me, you can only control what YOU can control. You will not change the neighbor.
There is not a fair solution here. It's not fair for the lady to hear noise she doesn't like, and it's not fair to constantly shush a 6-year-old in her own home.
So since I believe you can only control what you can control, I would find another place where my child could move around without worry.
You could see if the neighbor wants to switch units with you and let YOU be on the bottom floor. LOL
No matter what, in an apartment you are going to hear the noise of other people. That's part of living in an apartment, and your neighbor needs to get over it. As long as your child isn't being obnoxiously loud and disruptive, and you are taking reasonable measures to be courteous which it sounds like you are, there's not much more you can do. She can get earplugs, or look into a senior living facility where she wouldn't have to worry about any kids.
I live in an apartment, and I've dealt with the normal kid bouncing, skipping, occasional running overhead. It really isn't that disturbing. I can also hear adults walking around (all hardwood floors) so I'm used to it. I've also had a neighbor who sounded like she let her grandchildren jump from the bed to the floor or stomp or rollerskate and all manner of disruption. That's totally different. The way I see it, your neighbor doesn't have much of a complaint. She can't demand your child not move. If she doesn't like noise over her head and wants total solitude, she's the one that needs to look into moving...NOT you.
Thank you! We are actually quiet for the most part... even though my child is high energy we are outside most of the day, if she wants to sing loudly we make her go outside (in the yard, not on the deck because it's too close), we hardly EVER watch tv. It baffles me that this lady complains as much as she does because I can only think of a few instances during the day when we are actually inside and could have made some sort of loud noise. She wants complete and total silence, and I'm sorry but you can't live in a creaky old house on the first floor and expect that. Exactly....SENIOR LIVING FACILITY!
Plan to move at the end of your lease. Make sure you pick a first floor apartment when you do.
In the meantime, live your life like a normal family and stop making your daughter be quiet. It's not healthy to shush her when she's not being noisy beyond normal kid sounds. Find out the ordinance for quiet time in your town. I think where I live it's 10pm to 7am. Make sure she's quiet during those hours, which shouldn't be hard since she will be sleeping. When the neighbor complains, just smile and say you're sorry and then continue living your lives like you're legally allowed.
Don't let a cranky miserable witch bully you but don't be defensive either. There's no reason to get into a discussion about it or defend yourself. She will never be happy no matter what you say or do. Just be polite and continue living your life until you can move to an apartment better suited for children.
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