Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He still needs an income to rent an ultra cheap apartment.
Hes 18...tell him to join the military. They will feed him, clothe him and house him. In addition, they will kick his sorry attitude to the flippin curb. 4 yrs in the Marines will make him a man.
Hes 18...tell him to join the military. They will feed him, clothe him and house him. In addition, they will kick his sorry attitude to the flippin curb. 4 yrs in the Marines will make him a man.
He dropped out of high school and is stumbling through a GED course, meaning he doesn't show up half the time! I've been told the Marines will take anybody, does that include someone with HS/GED? I suppose I should look into that as an option
He dropped out of high school and is stumbling through a GED course, meaning he doesn't show up half the time! I've been told the Marines will take anybody, does that include someone with HS/GED? I suppose I should look into that as an option
How about jail? They will feed, clothe and house him as well.
How about jail? They will feed, clothe and house him as well.
He's been there, too. At the rate he's going, that's where he will wind up. I've already told both kids we will NOT post bail for them, nor get them an attorney once they turn 18.
In Texas, a parent is obligated to get their kid legal counsel if the kid is accused of a crime. That's considered part of our obligation as in providing support. We have spent a fortune of DS legal fees, when the victim was us! He repeatedly stole from us, including our credit cards, and ran up thousands, ruining our credit. Regardless we were forced to pay his legal defense against us! He also physically attacked me, and DH on numerous occasions. He did do jail time for assault on a disabled person--me---but we were stuck with his legal fees, along with counseling, rehab, etc. the deductible portion of his medical bills came to thousands. We've essentially wiped out just about all our savings. Please don't call me an "enabler" that bought his way out of everything, far from it, we were forced into literally spending our savings away for his defense, and he was encouraged to keep on doing whatever he pleased. The system kept telling him and us as long as he was under 18 we owed him our lives and souls. Well, now he's no longer under that protection, and we want to repair what we can of our tattered lives. If we allow him back into our home, or co-sign for anything, we are right back where we started from, legally responsible for him and whatever he wants to do!
Last edited by MaryleeII; 05-02-2015 at 07:58 PM..
We already have. We were renting our previous home, so that made it easy to just move out. DD is living with her boyfriend, so that takes care of her. Its DS I'm worried about. He already knows where we live. We were going to allow him to live with us, simply because of the lack of other options. For a single, 18-year old male, renting is almost impossible without a co-signer, which we refuse to do. We simply aren't of the means to buy him a house, or post rent for a year. He deserves to be in the spot he's in, he's tried to smear us for years. He's made false reports to police, CPS, stolen from us to the point our house looked like a prison from the inside out. We had keypad locks on inside doors, alarms on doors and windows, inside safes, and we still fell victim to his thievery. He had the full backing of the local police force. Once I locked him out because he was physically threatening me and he broke the glass to the door to get in. When police came, they said, in front of him " its his house, too. anything he does to gain access we will back up. Perhaps YOU need to leave since you're having so much trouble getting along"? That's one of the reasons we moved, essentially to another county, to get away from the abusive local police force.
We've been here a week, and he's gradually working his way back in. At first we told him he could take up temporary residency with us until other options opened up. We asked for $100/month rent, that would include his share of utilities, food, etc. We also asked he help with the move, and in general be helpful around here. So far, he hasn't done a darned thing. He kept wandering off for days at a time when we were moving, we ended up hiring much of the work done that he could have helped with. He would show up when all the work was done. He was gone 5 days, now he's back here, sleeping on the couch. The last time he showed up here he stayed 2 nights, and he was in and out all night long, doing who knows what. know he was selling his ADHD meds in our old neighborhood, who knows what he's doing here?
At least, thank goodness, we did NOT put him on the lease. he's listed as a guest, but not as a tenant, or we'd be right back where we started from. I'm afraid I'm going to have to get tough. Tomorrow I will drive him to the nearest homeless sheler, but that's assuming they have room, its not just that easy. He's right back in our face......
I've rented to students with satisfactory results... generally, I rent a single family home to one or two students and they are permitted to sublet to two additional in a 4 bedroom house... they just use Craigslist and once they pass my tenant's screening I say yes or no...
My criteria is the same for all... no bad credit which is different than good credit and they must be employed...
You've already backed down, and, let him back in. You are enabling him, you let him come and go as he pleases, he runs the show. Until you and your husband understands that "NO" is a complete sentence nothing will change. Your words say one thing and your actions prove that they don't mean a thing. You are your own worst enemies.
I would suggest that you read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, until you two get healthy, there is no chance that he will. He is 18, let him find his own way, he can't get up until he falls to his knees...and, you just won't let him do that. Toss him out, he will find a couch to flop on, he has somewhere to go...as he disappears for days at a time...he is more resourceful than you give him credit for, he manipulates you like putty in his hand and he does the same thing to his friends too.
I wouldn't give them the new home phone either - just cell phone.
Do people still get new home phones?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII
We already have. We were renting our previous home, so that made it easy to just move out. DD is living with her boyfriend, so that takes care of her. Its DS I'm worried about. He already knows where we live. We were going to allow him to live with us, simply because of the lack of other options. For a single, 18-year old male, renting is almost impossible without a co-signer, which we refuse to do. We simply aren't of the means to buy him a house, or post rent for a year. He deserves to be in the spot he's in, he's tried to smear us for years. He's made false reports to police, CPS, stolen from us to the point our house looked like a prison from the inside out. We had keypad locks on inside doors, alarms on doors and windows, inside safes, and we still fell victim to his thievery. He had the full backing of the local police force. Once I locked him out because he was physically threatening me and he broke the glass to the door to get in. When police came, they said, in front of him " its his house, too. anything he does to gain access we will back up. Perhaps YOU need to leave since you're having so much trouble getting along"? That's one of the reasons we moved, essentially to another county, to get away from the abusive local police force.
We've been here a week, and he's gradually working his way back in. At first we told him he could take up temporary residency with us until other options opened up. We asked for $100/month rent, that would include his share of utilities, food, etc. We also asked he help with the move, and in general be helpful around here. So far, he hasn't done a darned thing. He kept wandering off for days at a time when we were moving, we ended up hiring much of the work done that he could have helped with. He would show up when all the work was done. He was gone 5 days, now he's back here, sleeping on the couch. The last time he showed up here he stayed 2 nights, and he was in and out all night long, doing who knows what. know he was selling his ADHD meds in our old neighborhood, who knows what he's doing here?
At least, thank goodness, we did NOT put him on the lease. he's listed as a guest, but not as a tenant, or we'd be right back where we started from. I'm afraid I'm going to have to get tough. Tomorrow I will drive him to the nearest homeless sheler, but that's assuming they have room, its not just that easy. He's right back in our face......
Oh....my......god.....
You moved to get away from him, and in the next minute you've invited him back in.
Sad and pathetic...on your part.
Why would you think he'd help you out? He's the same POS as he was at the old address. The only difference is a new address. He's the same.
The time to get tough was years ago. Now it's time to kick him out. Make it clear that he is no longer welcome because he has never respected you or your rules, so goodbye and good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dollydo
You've already backed down, and, let him back in. You are enabling him, you let him come and go as he pleases, he runs the show. Until you and your husband understands that "NO" is a complete sentence nothing will change. Your words say one thing and your actions prove that they don't mean a thing. You are your own worst enemies.
I would suggest that you read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie, until you two get healthy, there is no chance that he will. He is 18, let him find his own way, he can't get up until he falls to his knees...and, you just won't let him do that. Toss him out, he will find a couch to flop on, he has somewhere to go...as he disappears for days at a time...he is more resourceful than you give him credit for, he manipulates you like putty in his hand and he does the same thing to his friends too.
Completely agree with everything here.
OP, get him OUT, change the locks if he has a key, and DON'T let him back in.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
