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Old 11-20-2015, 03:37 AM
duftb5cfg
 
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Hi everyone,

I am wondering about leaving a roommate situation without notice. Basically, if it is legal or not if I am not on the lease?

One additional thing: this is not something I would like to do, or something I've ever done, but I do feel I don't have a choice at this point.

Here's the story:

I moved to San Diego from the East Coast. Because I did not have a job when I moved out here, many landlords and potential roommates did not want to rent to me, despite the fact that I had plenty of savings and offered extra rent up front. I found two roommates with an extra room in a 3/br house. It is far from ideal, but it is in a great location, and it is month-to-month. I told them I'd likely be there for 3-6 months.

At first things were fine. I found one roommate extremely rude and annoying from the beginning, but I can handle that a few months.

But then came the red flags:

1)The roommates are constantly broke. As in, truly broke. Like, barely a buck to their names most of the time. They essentially both fleece the taxpayer and get high rather than working. They get most of their food from food banks because they don't have the money for groceries. I know my deposit is a lost cause. Lately, its to the point that the leaseholder is now bugging me, asking if I can pay some of the rent early. He has asked several times and is clearly getting angry that I refuse.

2) The leaseholder has shown himself to have quite a controlling streak and a temper. When I started dating a neighbor he doesn't like, he threatened to kick me out. He gets angry that I avoid the house. He bans watching sports, even when he is asleep in another room. He constantly blames me for anything that goes wrong. All of this I can handle; its temporary. He also may have told people that he is about to ask me to leave, but I don't know if they are telling the truth—his acquaintances are scumbags too, so I don't trust them

3) I am truly getting the feeling (just a gut thing— no hard evidence) that if I did give him 30 days & move out January 1, he would find another scumbag to rent the room and kick me out immediately.

4) I also have the feeling that vandalism, violence, or attempting to block me from my property would ensue if I tried to leave early. If I do leave early, I would contact the police first, just in case.

I can't stay with the girl I'm seeing, of course, as that would create a rift, and they do have to live next door to each other until her lease is up. I have a lead on a place for Dec. 1, and I'm thinking if I can sign on it for the first, I'm so fed up that I might just leave and stay in a hotel for a week or two.

Ethically, I feel fine about it-these guys are scumbags and loose cannons. I just don't want to get sued over the whole thing.
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Old 11-20-2015, 07:01 AM
 
Location: American West
960 posts, read 552,730 times
Reputation: 1755
They cannot sue you for anything if their is no written contract. That is the only thing that is legally binding. If you are not on the lease, there is NOTHING these idiots can do no matter how much they squawk or threaten.

Now get out of there before something happens with these morons. I have been in a similar situation awhile back and my "friend" roommate turned out to be a drug addict and created a horrible and unsafe living situation. He threatened me up and down and thought he had some authority to make my life miserable No go for him. The landlord tried to take me to small claims when I vacated and the judge asked "where is his name on the lease?" Since it was not on there, case closed. It was a 5 minute ordeal and I was done and free.

Long story short, trust your gut and get out! The hotel thing is a good one if you can afford it. I am sorry to hear someone else going through something like this. I felt like I was the only one at the time that ever experienced something so bad.
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Old 11-20-2015, 07:43 AM
 
678 posts, read 603,942 times
Reputation: 702
Leave immediately and with the police involved. If your name is not on the lease, the landlord won't have any claim against you. The leaseholder roommate might (contrary to popular belief, a contract does NOT have to be written down to be enforceable, it's just a lot easier for everyone if it is) but in this circumstance I don't think it's an issue. Bottom line: I wouldn't worry much at all regarding financial liability -- safety is the biggest concern here by far.
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Old 11-20-2015, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
1,844 posts, read 2,083,359 times
Reputation: 2358
As a month to month tenant, you are still required under CA law to provide a 30 day notice to vacate.
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Old 11-20-2015, 10:00 AM
 
43 posts, read 48,530 times
Reputation: 80
Collect your valuables and move them off site first. Take photos of the house and your room (with date stamp) so you have proof of conditions. Then give 30 days notice (email and letter so this wacko can't claim he didn't get it). Spend as much time as possible away from that house for the next four weeks until you are free.


Yes, you could just bail, but consider the mentality of the people you're dealing with here. I'm guessing some kind of substance abuse is involved somewhere here. If you cross them, they could make life nasty for you... you never know. Better to be the mature one and extricate yourself like an adult. If things still go bad after you do the right steps, call the police non-emergency line and say you need them to escort you into the house to collect your things because you feel you are in danger. Best of luck.
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Old 11-20-2015, 11:30 AM
 
Location: SoCal
6,246 posts, read 10,271,420 times
Reputation: 6364
If you feel it's dangerous enough, move yourself and your things first and then give them your 30 day notice with the month's rent payment. Instead of double rent, consider it to be a safety insurance payment.
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Old 11-20-2015, 07:52 PM
duftb5cfg
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StarsNStripes View Post
Collect your valuables and move them off site first. Take photos of the house and your room (with date stamp) so you have proof of conditions. Then give 30 days notice (email and letter so this wacko can't claim he didn't get it). Spend as much time as possible away from that house for the next four weeks until you are free.


Yes, you could just bail, but consider the mentality of the people you're dealing with here. I'm guessing some kind of substance abuse is involved somewhere here. If you cross them, they could make life nasty for you... you never know. Better to be the mature one and extricate yourself like an adult. If things still go bad after you do the right steps, call the police non-emergency line and say you need them to escort you into the house to collect your things because you feel you are in danger. Best of luck.
Thanks,

I'm not at all scared of running into them. It's just guys with nothing but time on their hands. So if they want to take me to small claims, they could make life annoying.

If I tried to move out without police, what would most likely happen is one of them trying to lock me out before I could get all of my things, and perhaps try to physically stop me if I pushed my way back in. I'm not afraid of getting hurt; I just don't wanna get arrested or lose my stuff.
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Old 11-20-2015, 07:52 PM
 
Location: Lyons, France, Whidbey Island WA
16,308 posts, read 13,072,522 times
Reputation: 8555
Walk away. they are much to flaky to follow up. choose a time when they are gone get your stuff and hit the road. Sooner than later.
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Old 11-20-2015, 07:59 PM
duftb5cfg
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reenzz View Post
As a month to month tenant, you are still required under CA law to provide a 30 day notice to vacate.
Are there exceptions?

I know for a fact that he is breaking our verbal agreement by pressuring me for rent two weeks early b/c he is broke. I also wonder if by having used my deposit rather than held onto it, he may be in violation.

Also, there's the issue of threats. By my post, you can tell how unreasonable and tantrum-prone the man is. My response so far has been conflict avoidance—basically just sucking it up and doing what he says, since it is short-term. If I were to simply stand up for myself (in a perfectly civil manner), I'm pretty sure that he would threaten me.
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Old 11-20-2015, 08:00 PM
duftb5cfg
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AADAD View Post
Walk away. they are much to flaky to follow up. choose a time when they are gone get your stuff and hit the road. Sooner than later.
Easier said than done—they are almost always home.
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