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So, I admittedly hate all my neighbors, mainly because of noise and lack of privacy. But it wasn't always this way. I've lived in this place for around 7 years, and was glad when I found it, as it's a nice place, and was fairly cheap for the area, plus it was in a good location, close to things, so I was able to bike everywhere, which is a big factor since I don't drive. But it's also a smallish duplex, with a small yard, so there is not much space, or buffer, between neighbors, which leads to a lot of the headaches and tension because of having to hear other people's noise all the time. Every other house is a normal size, with normal sized yards. As I was at school most of the day, it wasn't as much of an issue back then, plus a few noisy people have moved in in the last few years, replacing quiet, seemingly invisible neighbors, which has also contributed to the worsening situation. I'm a very quiet, sensitive person, and noise and lack of privacy really agitate me and aggravate my anxiety, headaches, and neck issues.
Anyway, the worse ones are the middle-aged couple that live across from me and are home all the time and don't seem to work, or do anything except work in their yard all day and make noise, host parties. It's become really aggravating, as every morning, the guy is out there doing something, like the last few days he has been out in his driveway all day using his power saw. They also go out to throw things in their garbage cans frequently, or if they are doing yardwork, and let the lid slam every time, going in and out of their house all day, slamming their door and car doors all day, or out noisily sorting their wine bottles, that they accumulate a full bin of every week. The other main issue is that they have a carport that they (the guy) "gardens" on top of, and their second-story window that they (the guy) climbs in and out of to get out there. It is directly across from my living room and is making me feel like a ****ing rat in a cage, as I'm sure they can see right in my house, and the fact that they are home all day, and love to work in their yard all day and such, makes it hard to relax, knowing someone could appear on their roof at any moment. After seeing him up there several times, I finally got pissed off and got my camera out and took a picture of him, just sitting up there, facing my house, obviously aware that he can see me, and vice versa. So I figured that would at least let him know that I see him, and do not appreciate him sitting up there, overlooking my house. Even "gardening" seems like a pathetic excuse to just be up there, as like I said they are in their yard all the time, have a big backyard that they host parties in, so to have a few measly, pathetic looking planters up there (and a chair), just seems like a pathetic excuse to be up there. So anyway, it's just a giant headache and feeling like I have no privacy. There's a nice view with lots of trees that I like to look at out the front window, but just seeing their window, with the curtain always conveniently open just a few inches, always just makes me feel uneasy and agitated every time I look out the window, wondering if they can see me or are looking at me, since they're home all day, or if he could just pop up on his roof at any moment...
I'm just sick of the constant noise and lack of privacy, especially from people that don't even seem to do crap but make noise and have no respect for anyone's privacy or peace and quiet. Like I said, they don't seem to work, yet they always seem to save their noisiest work for weekend mornings. Several times I've woken up at 9am on Sunday, to hear loud noises, and when I look out to see who it is, sure enough it's the ******* with his weedwhacker, making sure his lawn is perfectly straight (like that's really important, especially enough to warrant making such noise on a sunday morning), or pressure washing his driveway for hours. I suppose there's not much I can do, as this society's all about "rights" and "freedoms", and as long as it's legal, hey...but I'm just so sick of my quality of life being diminished by the actions of people with too much time on their hands, and no respect or consideration for anyone else. I have headaches and a stiff neck all the time, and pretty much every day I'm just waiting until night to have some peace and quiet...
Much of what you talked here, you really can't do anything about it. Except for the loud noises, and even that can be subjective in this case, don't sound like they are breaking any laws. You can't prove that the guy is watching you from his second floor just because he is looking your way. Also much of what they are doing is just not your business to worry about, stop watching them so much and just keep your blinds shut. I was in a similar situation, but I really couldn't do anything because they were not on my property. So, I moved and very happy with my decision to move away from all that drama.
Are you retired? Do you rent or own? If you rent , I suggest you move. If you own, and can't move, maybe talk to them about the racket. It really does sound like they are doing normal people stuff. They are gardening, taking care of their property, fixing things, etc. It could be so much worse. They could be stockpiling cars and appliances in their yard, not mowing it, and bringing in a herd of goats for rubbish control. 😉 In all seriousness, maybe invest in some creative way to make your view more pleasing and turn on some light music. Taking photos of the dude out there is kinda weird and will just make the situation worse. It certainly wont help if you want to talk to him about it. He might not even know why you are so pissed off.
I agree it probably doesn't sound that serious, and I know it could be worse, but as a single girl it just makes me more paranoid and uneasy. It's just frustrating because it's generally a nice place, especially for the price and area, and being able to bike or walk places, which is why I haven't moved. Every time I look for places, every other place is so much more expensive and crappier, in a worse location, etc. Which should make me appreciate this place more, but it's still hard not to be affected by one person that's doing most of the damage. I don't want to talk to him, I'm pretty sure they all know that I hate them. I thought about sending a letter just to let them know how it's affecting me...not that they probably care, since as I said they probably know I hate them, but just in case they are oblivious, just to let them know that some people are more affected by noise.
Another thing is, one of the new neighbors that moved in, behind me, a few years ago, had a couple kids and are always out in their backyard, which is fairly close, since my backyard is only like 10 feet wide. So I am frequently seeing them, right on the other side of the fence, when I'm in the kitchen. There was a tree right on the other side of the fence in front of my kitchen window, that they cut down, and have also trimmed the foliage in front of their windows on the other side. Before they moved in, I didn't even know anyone lived in their. The blinds were always closed, and I never saw anyone in the yard. Now I don't even go out in the backyard, as they have their curtains open and it seems someone must be home all day with the kids, plus the yard guy butchered the shrubs in front of all the windows, so there's even less privacy. I wanted to ask the landlord to plant some shrubs or something for privacy next to the fence, in front of their windows, but they probably don't care. They are supposed to be doing some work soon, so I figured it would be a good time to ask? Or is there something else I could put up, like some kind of flag or something? There's just a small strip of dirt in front of the fence, to put something...
If you don't have a great view on the side where the neighbor looks in from up on his roof, you could put some privacy film on the window. Years ago I lived in an apartment where my bedroom window faced the parking lot. I didn't want to keep the blinds drawn all the time, so I bought privacy film and put it up, and then at least I had light in the room but no one could see inside.
As for noise, you might want to order some custom ear plugs. I live in a noisy neighborhood and I am very sensitive to noise. I bought a pair about a year ago and its one of the best investments I've made. Just knowing that I have some control over when I hear noise makes it easier to cope. The foam ones might work as well. My ear canals are shaped in such a way that I can't get the foam ones in very far. I went to the audiology clinic at the local university to get my custom ones made.
I was looking for something like that, like in tinted windows, but I couldn't find anything...I do have a sheer curtain that's adjustable that I have up halfway, so people on the street can't see in, but I can still see the sky and treetops if I look up. I found that a sheer lilac color, from outside during the day, you can't even see the curtain...it just looks dark and empty, so no one can see inside. But I'm sure the neighbors can see in if I have it up halfway, and if I have it up all the way it hurts my eyes trying to look through, lol. :/
Your neighbors aren't doing anything illegal and have a right to take out the trash, garden and even sit on their carport if they choose. I doubt they even care how you feel about them...so you're sitting in your cage stewing and riling yourself up for nothing which only increases your anxiety and blaming it on them.
Go to Home Depot or Lowe's ask for window tint...you can find the 'frosted' type that will block your vision but allow light in...very much like your sheer curtain.
Your issues and anxieties are yours and yours alone...your neighbors do not need to tip toe around you or make special accommodations for you. If they are breaking a city/town noise ordinance, then by all means report them. But nothing you stated warrants such a call.
Maybe if you spent more time focusing on you and what you're doing, you'd spend less time worrying/fretting and obsessing over your neighbors.
personally i have found that when an outside element out of my control (like neighbors) start to bother me it usually means there is something else going on in my life that i am unhappy with and the outside element is just an easy escape to focus the unhappiness on. when things in my life are going good the annoying neighbors are merely quirky.
OP, what you've described is normal living. When people have homes with yards, many spend a great deal of time outside taking care of their property. If these normal activities are bothersome to you, even if you do move, you're still going to have the same issues - unless it's to a rural area and you have some acreage. It sounds like your ideal is to be isolated away from people but you can't because of your transportation issue.
If you're ultra sensitive to noise, you'll need to remedy that yourself. Maybe play some soothing music at a reasonable volume to cover the outside noise. Get some blinds/curtains for your windows.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bikegal
I agree it probably doesn't sound that serious, and I know it could be worse, but as a single girl it just makes me more paranoid and uneasy.
Put a positive spin on this, and think that a crime is less likely to happen if your neighbors are out and about in their yards. A criminal will avoid those neighborhoods where people are active outside because they don't want to be seen.
Personally, I feel safer being in an active neighborhood.
Last edited by HokieFan; 10-05-2016 at 07:53 AM..
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