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No, do NOT offer to pay him rent. Contribute what makes you feel decent, but you have some growing up to do.
Is $1000/month just your share of the rent at your place? If so, that's insanely high.
DO NOT move in with your BF officially. Your last line about him being jealous is a huge red flag.
He needs to get another roommate. That's HIS priority right now.
What if he doesn’t find a roommate . I can’t just standby and watch him struggle. Hopefully it gets figured out.
Thank you guys for all of your help. It has been very eye opening.
What if he doesn’t find a roommate . I can’t just standby and watch him struggle. Hopefully it gets figured out.
Thank you guys for all of your help. It has been very eye opening.
Well, in fairness, that's not your problem. You describe wanting to pull back from the spending so many nights there. That's not a scenario that says, "Geez, I should go all-in and sign a minimum of one-year commitment with this guy where I have no escape except to damage one or both of us financially." When most people reach the moving-in-together stage, it should be a no-brainer.
Also in fairness, this is probably more of a Relationship forum question than a Renting forum question.
He’s controlling. He regularly manipulates you into setting aside your wants and needs to cater to him. That’s not a healthy relationship, OP. That’s an abusive one.
Not only should you not move in with him, you should dump him.
I’m in a weird situation and need help figuring it out.
My boyfriend and I live about a 5 minute car ride from each other and I find myself sleeping there every night. I have my own apartment that I share with 3 other roommates but my boyfriend and I just like to be together a lot. I feel bad sleeping there every night and in all honesty it would be easier for me to just sleep at my own place since I have to pay to uber to his place almost every single day which is expensive. I try and cook dinner for him and provide soap and stuff. I would help with the rent but I have my own rent of $1,100 per month plus all the uber rides to his place. I really can’t afford to pay him unless I move out.
His roommate just moved out and we had February to find another roommate. We thought we had found one to take over and then he told us yesterday that he was not going to take it. So now he has no roommate to take over his rent and he can’t just move out because he has a dog and it’s not easy finding roommates when you have a dog.
I would move in with him but I have my own lease and I can’t really break it. I don’t know if I could find a roommate replacement, I don’t know if my apartment building would allow that. I don’t know what to do. I feel really bad.
What’s the right thing to do here? Do I help with rent even though I have my own rent to pay? Should I offer to move in together and try breaking my lease.
Please help!
Are you sure his difficulty in finding roommates doesn't stem from the fact that he makes his girlfriend stay over every single night?
You need to be careful his landlord doesn't find out you're over there almost every night. Depending on what his lease says, your bf could get in trouble for it looking like he's moved you in without informing the landlord and adding you to the lease.
Hmm, because that’s breaking my lease and I think the management company could evict my roommates if we do that. I don’t even know, I was googling today and that’s what I read could happen. I’ve never even had an apartment before, this is the first time. I know nothing.
If you don't know, the place to start is by reading your lease and seeing what it says. Google does not know what is in your specific lease.
Quote:
Originally Posted by summerlight22
I go over my own place everyday and cook there (I don’t leave stuff in the dishwasher or anything lol). I got us a ROOMBA vacuum to clean while I wasn’t there since I felt bad I wasn’t vacuuming or anything. I do wish I was over my own place more, it’s really nice.
I’ve tried stepping back, I try to go home on Sundays to do laundry and stuff and he wants me back at the end of the day.
The whole being over everyday has become a routine and I feel like I have to break it but I don’t know how. I don’t even know how this ended up happening.
Whenever I try to stay home he just says “you don’t want to see me?”
One day I went to yoga and and I just wanted to stay home that night because I didn’t want to go all the way to his house just to end up going to sleep an hour later. I told him I couldn’t afford to uber to his house every single day as it comes out be like $150 a month to uber there every night or so. And he got really upset about it and he said that we should take a break and was just jealous. He said “you’re suddenly doing yoga and I’m sure you’re hanging out with someone and don’t want to tell me.”
There’s free yoga classes in my apartment building and I had gone before.
He never comes over my house because he says I live in a shady area and there’s nothing for us to do there. And he has a dog so he can’t sleep over my place.
I know the jealousy is a huge red flag. I am completely aware of that. He got brutally cheated on before and he is scarred and I’m willing to work with him on that.
I’ll work on only sleeping there some nights. It’ll just be an ordeal.
This is not just jealousy from a guy who's been burned. This is very controlling. He won't let you sleep at your own home. He won't let you have your own activities. Just... wow.
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. I can’t just standby and watch him struggle. Hopefully it gets figured out. 
