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I mean I can totally understand that...That sounds nice it reminds me of my friend Judy! I grew up with her ..She was the child from hell! She was a promiscious dirty little girl! She fought all the time,got beat up...her mom IS a welfare queen ..never worked..anyway she got pregnant and she worked 2 jobs AND went to school...after she had the baby she started working again immediately and I would see her in college just zooming past me rushing to get to class or work..Her neighbor this black lady gave her a friggin car! A NICE car! I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous of her..Everyone knew it even my mom! We would see her out and about and I would look at her and be like look at her car! Look at what she's doing !
My mom would say oh you can do it too and I would tell her I cant! ...Judy was also in an abusive relationship btw that she got out of ...She's a year younger than me and she graduated with her BA in Nursing...she is a nurse making a ton of money and she lives in a fabolous apartment...Im not gonna lie...I AM jealous! She has a car , a good job , a nice apartment but she's saving to buy a house...She can afford to take her kid wherever she wants...I AM lazy ...Im not gonna lie..Im a typical welfare queen and Im somewhat comfortable...I watch tv all day ....I get foodstamps ...Sometimes I do use my kids autism as an excuse..Yes they are autistic but they can still go to daycare and recieve therapy there...Im doing my kids a disservice by having them home all day..I dont work with them at all..I watch tv..I am disgusted with myself. I really am and I want to change and I promise myself that when I move into that new apartment I will get myself together and get off welfare .I wasted so many years being lazy ...I AM the stereotype and Im ashamed of it. Im 23 btw and my daughter's school therapist is a year younger than me! She looks down on me too I bet but she just doesnt say anything. My family always calls me welfare mama ..they thinks its funny . I laugh with them but honestly it feels like crap . I can see why everyone is so angry at my complaining all the time .
If you are being completely serious in what you just said, you should definitely get moving. The inertia is sucking you in. I am a stay at home mom to 4 kids and the longer I am a stay at home mom, the harder going back to work seems. We are OK on my husband's salary, and with 4 kids and my work experience, the cost of daycare would eat up my salary, so I stay at home. Makes it easier on all of us. It is making me lazy though. There is a lot of busy work that I could do, like dusting things that will get dusty again in 2 days, mopping the floor 2x a day, etc...but it gets old. The longer you stay at home with the kids, the more daunting going to school and working is going to seem.
You will be able to take advantage of the WIA programs and any programs in your area designed for "welfare to work". After I graduated college I did part of the LPN program in a technical community college, and had fellow students receiving assistance from JTAP/WIA programs for daycare, transportation, and books (tuition was free through a lottery grant for almost everyone). You don't have to do nursing. There are allied health programs that would work too, or even business programs that train you to be an admin assistant. You could train to be a paraprofessional in the schools (teacher's aide) and work the same hours as your kids are in school. If you are mechanically inclined, you could learn a trade or drafting. You should also be eligible for the federal student aid like Pell Grants.
If I were you I'd definitely take advantage of some training instead of just trying to find a job. You are right - as a HS grad, you would have a hard time finding a job supporting yourself and your kids.
You can do it. If you can raise your two kids with autism and navigate the hurdles of getting them services they need, you can go back to school and find a career that will get you off of welfare and out of vermin-infested housing with bad neighbors.
I mean I can totally understand that...That sounds nice it reminds me of my friend Judy! I grew up with her ..She was the child from hell! She was a promiscious dirty little girl! She fought all the time,got beat up...her mom IS a welfare queen ..never worked..anyway she got pregnant and she worked 2 jobs AND went to school...after she had the baby she started working again immediately and I would see her in college just zooming past me rushing to get to class or work..Her neighbor this black lady gave her a friggin car! A NICE car! I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous of her..Everyone knew it even my mom! We would see her out and about and I would look at her and be like look at her car! Look at what she's doing !
My mom would say oh you can do it too and I would tell her I cant! ...Judy was also in an abusive relationship btw that she got out of ...She's a year younger than me and she graduated with her BA in Nursing...she is a nurse making a ton of money and she lives in a fabolous apartment...Im not gonna lie...I AM jealous! She has a car , a good job , a nice apartment but she's saving to buy a house...She can afford to take her kid wherever she wants...I AM lazy ...Im not gonna lie..Im a typical welfare queen and Im somewhat comfortable...I watch tv all day ....I get foodstamps ...Sometimes I do use my kids autism as an excuse..Yes they are autistic but they can still go to daycare and recieve therapy there...Im doing my kids a disservice by having them home all day..I dont work with them at all..I watch tv..I am disgusted with myself. I really am and I want to change and I promise myself that when I move into that new apartment I will get myself together and get off welfare .I wasted so many years being lazy ...I AM the stereotype and Im ashamed of it. Im 23 btw and my daughter's school therapist is a year younger than me! She looks down on me too I bet but she just doesnt say anything. My family always calls me welfare mama ..they thinks its funny . I laugh with them but honestly it feels like crap . I can see why everyone is so angry at my complaining all the time .
Do you really understand how you sound right now?
Are you for real? I'm starting to believe that you're making all this sh*t up.
You damn right Im complaining about everything !Why should I work? What will that do? How will it improve my life ? It wont! Im not shoving my kids into some crappy daycare until 6:00 pm every night not knowing what's going on with them. It's not like I stay home for no reason my son does get therapy that I have to sit in with him on . I did it for her and im going to do it for him! My apartment is crappy that's my only complaint..I can add more to the list but I doubt you have the time to read that huge list of valid complaints about my crappy life! PPL like you think that getting a job will fix and be a magic bullet when it wont! My rent will increase my foodstamps will decrease I wont get to see my kids ...I just need a better apartment. Not only that but I cant even get a high paying job! I make more money sitting on my a** than I would getting up working everyday ...
WOW, maybe I should get my girlfriend pregnant,quit my job and go work at McDonalds part time, get married to her so we can get some good income tax money back and less taxes taken out so that way I dont have to work 2 jobs to pay my bills and my school, I can get a break in my rent and I can get free groceries so I can eat better foods than I eat right now and then I will have extra money to buy me some 20inch rims and a $500 cell phone.
Since you have already decided that becoming educated, getting a job and being productive, becoming a role model your children would be proud of instead of having a home life that puts them in therapy, and overcoming all of your existing hardships is a waste of time.....how is the whining coming?
How much has complaining improved your life? How much better are your kids doing now that they listen to you telling them they have no future and no hope of ever getting one? Are they happier knowing that this is what they have to look forward to as well?
I can understand the frustration and the despair, but the reality is that all these things you won't do and feel can't help you are the only things that make life worth living in the long term. They are what give your kids hope and confidence in themselves. These are the struggles that deliver the opportunities for you to improve your life. After a time you will start to see new opportunities denied to you before and you will reach a critical juncture that delivers you past the roadblocks you now face and the work does pay you more than you can get sitting on your rump.
Not only will you be earning more, you will feel good about yourself and your kids will be proud of you for a change. That will get them out of therapy and off the path to welfare, jail or prostitution. Desparation makes people do really stupid things. You are stacking the deck for your kids in favor of these future killing choices.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself, do the hard work required to dig yourself out of the pit you are wallowing in and succeed at something other than misery and self pity. It is not easy. To quote a well worn phrase from my upbringing...If it were easy everybody would already be doing it.
How many people do you hang with that are financially comfortable and happy with their lives? If you are like me, very few if any. This means you cannot do what they are doing and succeed. You have to take a harder path and suffer until you break out of the patterns you have trapped yourself in. Only when you develop new skills, habits, and thought patterns will you be on your way. Keeping what is comfortable now is killing you and your children. Take a look at them and tell yourself you want them to be in your situation at your age.
If you can do that, then I have nothing more to share with you. You are beyond hope and deserve whatever crap life wants to dump on you. Open wide and eat it up. If this infuriates you or makes you sad to think on, then wake up and do something about it. Nobody else will ever do it for you.
You are choosing to be in the situation you are in, so (IMNSHO)- suck it up. You have posted that you are too poor to have any options, but post about CHOOSING to not receive child support for one of your children, about happily going to the CASINO to play slots, in addition to all of the other complaints about what OTHER PEOPLE are NOT doing to "help you out". Get a grip. The world owes you nothing. As a limited income single parent with child/children who are disabled (or at the least, high needs) who has recently had to live in a homeless shelter, you have so many opportunities available to you right now that you are REFUSING to utilize that I really do not feel sorry for you at all. I'm pretty darn sure that you would qualify for grants and scholarships to attend college or even a short-term trade program, for programs that would help you find potential employers, for respite care for your disabled children, disability benefits for your disabled children, section-8 housing choice voucher, etc- and you are making the choice to do nothing but sit on your duff and complain. You can't expect people to have sympathy for you when you are doing absolutely nothing for yourself, and sound quite content to be where you are in life. Sympathy and advocacy I save for people who are actually trying, against all odds, to better themselves and improve their station in life, not for those that sit and do nothing for themselves at all.
Part of the NYC Advantage program (as I read it) states that as a participant, you "have access to HomeBase, DHS' nationally recognized homelessness prevention program, for "aftercare" services including: Tenant conflict resolution, Tenant recertification assistance, Good neighbor education, and Payment resolution."
For issues concerning the Advantage Program, contact the Office of Re-Housing call center at 212-607-5310 . They can probably help you a lot more than the folks on this board.
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