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Old 06-10-2013, 02:50 AM
 
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Now strictly speaking I guess I'm not truly 'retired', but I'm medically retired from the Marine Corps, and I do work... but only what amounts to a couple months a year.

I'm working on my mountain cabin/retreat/getaway at the moment.
But my buddy I'd like to go motorcycle riding with... would love to, but has to work.
Getting buddies to help with projects, or just go Kayaking with. (It's hard to get back to your car by yourself)

My girl is finishing up her PHD, and she's one of those crazy types who WANTS to work...

It can get odd 'entertaining one's self' At the moment the distance necessary between me and her is an issue, to say nothing of the restrictions around planning activities around others limited schedule and mobility.

I don't see this changing soon... I'm 31.


What do you do?
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Old 06-10-2013, 03:13 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Diversify... I have always had a broad rainge of friends (ages and interests). This way someone is probably available to do something, tho it may not always be what YOU want to do. I get just as much fun out of spending time with 90 yr olds as with 18 yr olds. I make every friendship an adventure to get to know and serve others well.

My needs are WAY down the list, as I still have a lot to learn about me too!

Find friends that work different shifts. TRUE Night shift folks (those that enjoy it and do it by choice) make EVERY day an adventure. They aren't the ones sitting around waiting to go to work! They are the ones that barely have time for WORK. If they talk about the TV shows they watch... find a different friend, many folks are WAY too used to being 'entertained'.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
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31? And I thought I had issues with this @ 54. Good luck man.
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Old 06-14-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
My girl is finishing up her PHD, and she's one of those crazy types who WANTS to work...
Crazy like a fox. True happiness doesn't necessarily come from not working, it frequently comes from working, whether paid or unpaid, at something you love to do. If in doing that work you can feel like you're making the world a better place, then that's even more rewarding.

The work can involve manual labor, working with others, working alone, writing, building things, inventing, creating, organizing, studying history, whatever rings your bell. Give yourself a nice long well-earned vacation, then figure out what you're good at and like to do and do it.
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Old 06-14-2013, 02:01 PM
 
Location: Florida -
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In a sense, after being retired for 5-years, I'm struggling with a similar dilemma at 65. (We moved to a new area and are trying to connect with new friends, many of whom are still working. The older ones seem more set in their ways and circles of friends). I often find myself wanting to play golf, fish or other, but, my wife doesn't have the same interests ... and I'm not as interested in doing these things alone.

Our difference is that at 65, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin and have a pretty good idea of what my life is about. I can always find something entertaining and satisfying to do and am not as dependent on others. At 31, ... I was barely getting started figuring those things out. At about your age, I got deeply involved in the ministry and built a life (in addition to my regular career) on that. Over the years, I derived much greater joy, peace and contentment from that, than anything I ever did in my 'day job.'

My point is that life is not just about what one does to earn a living or occupy one's time. It is a journey, during which one (hopefully) discovers who they really are ... and builds their real life upon that foundation. Instead of focusing entirely on "What should I do?", try investing yourself in discovering, "Who am I?"

Last edited by jghorton; 06-14-2013 at 02:11 PM..
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Old 06-14-2013, 04:59 PM
 
11,181 posts, read 10,473,597 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post

Our difference is that at 65, I'm pretty comfortable in my own skin and have a pretty good idea of what my life is about. I can always find something entertaining and satisfying to do and am not as dependent on others. At 31, ... I was barely getting started figuring those things out. At about your age, I got deeply involved in the ministry and built a life (in addition to my regular career) on that. Over the years, I derived much greater joy, peace and contentment from that, than anything I ever did in my 'day job.'

My point is that life is not just about what one does to earn a living or occupy one's time. It is a journey, during which one (hopefully) discovers who they really are ... and builds their real life upon that foundation. Instead of focusing entirely on "What should I do?", try investing yourself in discovering, "Who am I?"
beautifully said!
At 31, I had a financially-successful career but no clue re what I was good at doing, what made me happy, or what I wanted to do with my life.
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Old 06-14-2013, 10:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Crazy like a fox. True happiness doesn't necessarily come from not working, it frequently comes from working, whether paid or unpaid, at something you love to do. If in doing that work you can feel like you're making the world a better place, then that's even more rewarding.

The work can involve manual labor, working with others, working alone, writing, building things, inventing, creating, organizing, studying history, whatever rings your bell. Give yourself a nice long well-earned vacation, then figure out what you're good at and like to do and do it.
What I like to do I can't do anymore.

(I have bad feet and a spinal injury.)
I seem 'good enough' at Flood Adjusting to make more than enough money in a non 9-5 environment.

"Finding things to do" is not a problem. I stay busy. As I said I'm improving the property. Between structures, and putting in a Food Forest, and other improvements and just enjoying it it alone is enough to keep me busy for years. I also like to travel, by motorcycle or towing my Airstream, as well as other interests.
It's still frustrating. (To me and to her.... she was bemoaning the fact she can't come spend time with me doing things we both enjoy due to her schedule (I'll be going back to the area ~ the end of July... but she still can't share these things.) The same thing applies to other people...


Quote:
beautifully said!
At 31, I had a financially-successful career but no clue re what I was good at doing, what made me happy, or what I wanted to do with my life.
I had my shortened career in the Marines which fulfilled any need to 'Do something with my life' I may of had. Get shot at a bit, and nearly blown up a few times and it'll make you take a long hard look at what is important in your life.
A lifetime spent at a job is NOT it!
My life/personal identity is no longer tied to my occupation.

I know who I am, it's a matter of being able to relate to others/share experiences.
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:42 PM
 
11,181 posts, read 10,473,597 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
I know who I am, it's a matter of being able to relate to others/share experiences.
Then what led you to ask "What do I do?" in a forum where almost all of us are old enough to be your parent?
I hardly ever presume to speak for others but for once I will: we sincerely wish you the very best and wish we could give you easy answers. All we have to offer is advice (which you sought) based upon what we've gleaned from decades of experience, it's yours to accept or reject. At 31, regardless of physical disabilities, you have so much time and so much energy to offer, the world is your oyster. Don't throw that away.

edit to add: I'm biting my tongue at the implication that we've no experience with military service, getting shot at and being nearly blown up. We're the children of WWII and Korean vets, we served and/or are the peers of Vietnam and Gulf War vets, we're the parents of those in the current mess, trust me, we know. We know.

Last edited by biscuitmom; 06-14-2013 at 11:57 PM..
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Old 06-14-2013, 11:57 PM
 
5,730 posts, read 10,089,600 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuitmom View Post
Then what led you to ask the question "What do I do?" in a forum where almost all of us are old enough to be your parent?
I hardly ever presume to speak for others but for once I will: we sincerely wish you the very best and wish we could give you easy answers. All we have to offer is advice (which you sought) based upon what we've gleaned from decades of experience, it's yours to accept or reject. At 31, regardless of physical disabilities, you have so much time and so much energy to offer, the world is your oyster. Don't throw that away.
Actually I said:
Quote:
What do you do?
Meaning, to anyone else who deals with trying to match up two mismatched worlds (Those who are stuck in the rat race, and those who are not.)

I am not looking for advise on how to find joy, keep myself busy etc.

What led to it was my GF bemoaning the fact she can't participate in things with me, and the aforementioned motorcycle buddy wishing he could come ride...

I appreciate that even though I've got a lot of experiences for someone my age, that there are many things I have not seen, and do not know. But I am pretty happy (Within my physical limitations) otherwise.

Edited to add:
Quote:

edit to add: I'm biting my tongue at the implication that we've no experience with military service, getting shot at and being nearly blown up. We're the children of WWII and Korean vets, we served and/or are the peers of Vietnam and Gulf War vets, we're the parents of those in the current mess, trust me, we know. We know.
I was not implying that no one understood or lacked similar experences (Although I'm sorry, having a family member is NOT understanding) I know that many serve. I was simply imparting that I have had cause/reason/time to do some soul searching.


Please excuse me, I was not intending to offend, nor to knock any chips off anyone's shoulder's. I just thought that there might be someone who has dealt with a similar situation.
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Old 06-15-2013, 01:19 AM
 
48,505 posts, read 96,514,062 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Themanwithnoname View Post
Now strictly speaking I guess I'm not truly 'retired', but I'm medically retired from the Marine Corps, and I do work... but only what amounts to a couple months a year.

I'm working on my mountain cabin/retreat/getaway at the moment.
But my buddy I'd like to go motorcycle riding with... would love to, but has to work.
Getting buddies to help with projects, or just go Kayaking with. (It's hard to get back to your car by yourself)

My girl is finishing up her PHD, and she's one of those crazy types who WANTS to work...

It can get odd 'entertaining one's self' At the moment the distance necessary between me and her is an issue, to say nothing of the restrictions around planning activities around others limited schedule and mobility.

I don't see this changing soon... I'm 31.


What do you do?
Why if you can ride a motorcycle are you retired. That doesn't mean you have to retire. get a job its not wise to be idle at your age. I am retired but I wouldn't have eve considered it at your ageltheir are phases in life.
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