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What's wrong with being a cantankerous wise woman? You have to be cantankerous in order to be wise, perhaps, so you can debunk all the ridiculous myths out there! I think of Curmudgeon as a cantankerous wize ol' geezer, BTW
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Originally Posted by Pilgrim21784
I agree, its part of his charm!
Quote:
Originally Posted by naturesdreams
Love your name... met someone recently that fits that name to a tee... always had great debates ... enjoy your Sunday
Thank, Y'all. You're very kind! Probably undeserved but very kind nonetheless.
I think in terms of the following:
WHAT IS A CURMUDGEON ANYWAY?
"A curmudgeon's reputation for malevolence is undeserved. They're neither warped nor evil at heart. They don't hate mankind, just mankind's absurdities. They're just as sensitive and soft-hearted as the next guy, but they hide their vulnerability beneath a crust of misanthropy. They ease the pain by turning hurt into humor. . . . . . They attack maudlinism because it devalues genuine sentiment. . . . . . Nature, having failed to equip them with a serviceable denial mechanism, has endowed them with astute perception and sly wit.
Curmudgeons are mockers and debunkers whose bitterness is a symptom rather than a disease. They can't compromise their standards and can't manage the suspension of disbelief necessary for feigned cheerfulness. Their awareness is a curse.
Perhaps curmudgeons have gotten a bad rap in the same way that the messenger is blamed for the message: They have the temerity to comment on the human condition without apology. They not only refuse to applaud mediocrity, they howl it down with morose glee. Their versions of the truth unsettle us, and we hold it against them, even though they soften it with humor." ~ JON WINOKUR
It's part of what drove me to retirement several years earlier than planned and optimum. After working almost 20 years in state politics I absolutely knew how it worked/didn't work too well, and why, and could no longer hold it in or play the game. Right-think, aka: political correctness, which I never indulged anyway, had become a tumultuous roar and rather than get angry, as opposed to bemused and merely disgusted, I chose to leave.
My boss once "accused" me of terrorizing legislative staffers with my honesty and outspokenness for the sake of accuracy. I like to think he was right.
I guess curmudgeonliness as a condition became ingrained then graduated to an identity.
NaturesDream, you enjoy your Sunday as well. Of course, in retirement every day is a holiday. The only downside of it is that you never get a day off!
I don't want to be a crone, ever, if I can avoid it. No matter the connotations of wisdom!
I just want to age gracefully, if I can, then drop dead when I'm at the right age for that (whatever that might be.) I know, I know, everybody wishes that.
I'm lucky, I have one of the good ones (men), and I dread losing him. Right now our (newly-retired) lives are golden, but who knows how long that will last. I do not fear death (extinction for me), I fear incapacity and pain.
But then again, my almost-90-year-old friend is coming over for lunch tomorrow. Yes, her mind wanders now quite a bit, and she doesn't walk too well any more. But mostly she still has a wonderful rye sense of humor and is very warm and funny. Who can do better than that? (She also has one of her 6 sons as her full-time caregiver, lucky her.)
Last edited by Wwanderer; 08-28-2011 at 04:30 PM..
I hope to be a gracious lady like my mother, however, I am afraid of being lonely and after reading a thread about life insurance, that now worries me.
But, I'm trying to not worry and listen to the wise ones on this forum. It does help.
I hope to be a gracious lady like my mother, however, I am afraid of being lonely and after reading a thread about life insurance, that now worries me.
But, I'm trying to not worry and listen to the wise ones on this forum. It does help.
Over the course of just a few years on this planet, I've determined that worry has no positive attributes. It tends to mess up the mental processes which makes coming up with solutions all the more difficult.
I would not want to be in that situation, but I don't think I'm in fear of it. As the alternative would happen to all of us, the state of incapacity would probably happen to some of us. It's something none of us can prevent, and if I can neither prevent nor alter the outcome, I usually do not let it invade my thoughts. I don't think it's denial on my part, but more like toleration.
My husband often says to me, "Shoot me when I get to that point, would you?" I don't know how to answer to that.
I've nursed many incapacitated elderlies before, and I thought about how I would feel if I were in their shoes, but do I know for certain I would feel the same way when the situation arrives? That is another question I cannot answer.
I could probably say those thoughts came from spending many of my formal education years in Eastern philosophy, but I'd rather think they are my own feelings now. I rather say I would somehow find a way to live with all situations with as much dignity as I could find, despite what other people think or feel about me at that time.
I do like your response. I feel much the same. Too much time is wasted worrying about some possible future happenings we either have no control over or which might never happen. One thing I know is at some point I am going to die.
This. Also:
1) Dying early and having money left behind because I didn't enjoy myself. (This save money for future/enjoy yourself now business is a real balancing act that I'm afraid I'm not going to win.)
2) Buying "the" house and market tanks.
3) Losing my job and being unable to find another one because I am over 50, smoke and have health issues.
4) Losing my insurance and having to come up with at least $750-$1000 per month.
5) Cancer coming back.
One of the best lines on TV came from the Shawshank Redemption movie: "You can get busy living or get busy dying." I am afraid that I am so afraid that I now accomplish nothing! I can't make a decision for fear of the future "what ifs". I'm to afraid to live a good life for fear I won't have enough money for a longer life.
While this site has given me a lot of information about how to prepare for future retirement, it has also scared the sh** out of me.
This. Also:
1) Dying early and having money left behind because I didn't enjoy myself. (This save money for future/enjoy yourself now business is a real balancing act that I'm afraid I'm not going to win.) Nobody wins. We all die eventually. Once you've assumed room temperature you probably won't care one way or the other.
2) Buying "the" house and market tanks. So you buy a home you can reasonably afford, not an investment. Problem solved 'cause you won't really care.
3) Losing my job and being unable to find another one because I am over 50, smoke and have health issues. You can't be fired or laid off from retirement. What's the worry?
4) Losing my insurance and having to come up with at least $750-$1000 per month. Let's hear it for Medicare - infinitely cheaper, even with a supplement. Next!
5) Cancer coming back. Worry won't help one way or the other. If it does you deal with it. If it doesn't, why worry?
One of the best lines on TV came from the Shawshank Redemption movie: "You can get busy living or get busy dying." I am afraid that I am so afraid that I now accomplish nothing! I can't make a decision for fear of the future "what ifs". I'm to afraid to live a good life for fear I won't have enough money for a longer life.
While this site has given me a lot of information about how to prepare for future retirement, it has also scared the sh** out of me.
The only concern I have about aging is that someday in the next 30 years, I will not be able to take care of my activities of daily living on my own b/c of health issues or physical impairments. Other than that, I don't worry much at all. I have found that typically, the things most people spend time worrying about never happen, anyway. The things that impact us the most are usually things we never dreamed could happen.
Worry??... geez many years ago a wise person taught me not to sweat the small stuff.. Anifani.. so true.. most things don't happen and if something does... a new plan is in order and it is a slight detour.
Never give up... never regret the past/ things you can't change.. just a waste of energy... learn from it, adapt and engage in new adventures from the "lessons learned". I don't judge new experiences with a negative attitude but embrace the new adventures with enthusiasm.. keep my friends close to my heart and love my family without smothering and judgment...
Nothing to worry about death... if it is my time to go, I know I've kicked up my heels and made the best of this life and hope that my life inspired my acquaintances to do the same.
Enjoy your Tuesday everyone... go out and make it a good day.
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A gracious lady
Apparently everything!
