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I don't want to take over this thread, and apologize for doing so. My dream is to go back to my small mountain town here. It will never happen.
So, how bout them Dodgers?
I hear - and respect - you. You seem to be trying, with some success, to make peace with your situation.
That's admirable.
At the same time I'm pretty sure you're not permanently stuck in it and will eventually find a way out.
We returned last night from a week long visit to see our relatives in Indiana. We took our two grandkids, 5 and 8 years old with us. The parents and grandkids are going to England for three weeks later this summer and their parents couldn't take time off to come along. At 85 and 91 of age, the Great Grandmothers may not always be there and we felt we should visit this year rather than waiting another year. The grandkids have not been away from their parents for this long before and I was concerned a week might be too much, but it wasn't. They are great kids and seasoned travelers, so flying was no problem and they spend a lot of time with us already.
We visited my Mom at the start and end of the trip in her CCCR memory unit and we stayed in a hotel. The eight year old picked up immediately on what the situation was with Great Grandma and tailored her behavior accordingly. Interestingly the five year old and my Mom have about the same attention span and he chatted away telling her all about the book he brought with him and showed her the pictures. Mom loved it.
At my MIL's there is a playhouse in the garden my late FIL had originally built for the two grandkids who graduated from high school this year. Our grandkids were the latest to enjoy it. It has a light, doorbell, bunk bed, Dutch door, windows, porch and is complete with a chalkboard and desk and all the things needed to sell fast food at the window.
MIL has 1 3/4 acre with a woods on one end and lots of space to run and play. 75 degree days, playing with cousins all day and sunsets at 9:30 helped exhaust them totally by bedtime every evening. The last evening there was warmer and more humid and the fireflies or lightning bugs came out in droves. The grandkids, equipped with plastic jars with breathing holes in the lids, were running and catching as many as they could with the other kids. There are no fireflies south of of lower Georgia and the grandkids, born and raised in FL, had never seen them before. Warm summer evenings spent chasing and catching fireflies in the yard with other kids while the grown ups talked, was and still is, one of my favorite childhood memories. I'm glad we could share the magic and the grandkids loved it too.
The trip to and from was uneventful. On the two hour drive back to see my Mom once more and leave from the nearby airport the next morning, I suggested our grandson point out every barn he saw. His sister was busy reading a book. I had no idea there were that many barns and once started there was no stopping him. The parents and grandkids were both so happy to see each other last night and we went home totally exhausted. Having fun and making memories is hard work.
^^^^^^^^^^^^ This was wonderful to read. Thank you for sharing with us!
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
I loved the visit, but my Mom broke my heart. I know she is where she needs to be to get the care she requires, and while that satisfies my brain, it doesn't help my heart. Dad was still alive last summer and we visited them at their home around this same time, I couldn't help but compare the two visits.
We sold their house a few weeks ago and it's been a sad time for me to accept the inevitable. I saw my sister and she had a few things she kept from their house for me. Two items were small circular saw blades my Mom had painted scenes on and DH had put in his carry on, not thinking or remembering they were there. The TSA pulled him out of line to check that out. It was a small airport and they escorted him back to the check-in counter and the Delta agent retrieved our checked-in luggage to put the blades in a suitcase. If we were in a larger airport we may not have had that option. Flying is certainly different from years ago, but it isn't always the cold, uncaring process it's portrayed as in the media.
^^^^^^^^^^^^ jean_ji: I understand what you mean about knowing your Mom was where she needed to be intellectually, but your heart hasn't caught up with it. My sister was in a nursing home for ten years and I often kicked myself for not having her live with me. But in reality that would have been bad for both of us. She required a lot more care than I could have given her, and I still worked a full time job (from home). My sister died a year and a half ago and I still have moments of regret.
And the very nursing home she was in is now being investigated by NY attorney general. Very, very bad situation. I'm glad my sister isn't there anymore. I frequently fought for her and what she needed and was glad I was able to do that.
Jean, thank you for sharing about yr trip to Indiana. Daddy was raised in Terre Haute; my regret is not going, as an adult with him when he visited his cousins. Remember he always took sourdough bread, they enjoyed it so And he would send it to them from Oakland, California.
NYgal, you write as a Very caring sister, no regrets please. For myself, when I couldn't lift my husband, care for him as he needed to be, he required a nursing home 3 weeks before he transitioned to Heaven. So sorry for the loss of your sister.
75, a heat wave on the Olympic Peninsula; good news sun is shining which is better than overcast skies !
Jean -- Thank you so much for sharing the story of your trip with us. I am glad you had the wisdom to make the trip when you did, with the grandchildren. You did what you were supposed to do: make memories!! Jean, I just lost my mother a year ago, and I know these times are hard and wish you and your sister good wishes during this time. It is good you got to have this visit. I hope you have a nice rest of the weekend.-- Hollyhock
Jean -- Thank you so much for sharing the story of your trip with us. I am glad you had the wisdom to make the trip when you did, with the grandchildren. You did what you were supposed to do: make memories!! Jean, I just lost my mother a year ago, and I know these times are hard and wish you and your sister good wishes during this time. It is good you got to have this visit. I hope you have a nice rest of the weekend.-- Hollyhock
Thank you, I'm glad we decided to go too. Thanks for your kind thoughts too, Sera.
My sister saved my Mom's copy of The Joy of Cooking cookbook for me. I laughed when I saw it. My Dad had gotten it for my Mom and every recipe she tried from it failed miserably. Dad would then make a recipe from it and his always turned out. It got to be a joke after a while. So this cookbook was not my Mom's favorite, but a bone of contention between the two of them; one of the few things they did not agree on. My sister is younger and this all went over her head at the time.
I wasn't going to keep it, but opened up the fly leaf to see it was printed at the Cornwall Press in Cornwall, NY. It's a few miles from our house in NY, although press has long been closed. I took the cookbook home with me.
Ah, the cookbooks!!! Both Hubby's and my own mother's have passed away, and children are married. The cookbook division has occurred! When there are multiple children, sometimes it can be hard to decide. I know in my husband's family, there were treasured children's cookbooks, beautifully illustrated. Because my SIL, a female in that era , was the one who got to use those books when she was a child, the children's cookbooks went to her, which makes sense. So they will continue down that line of the family.
Now a days, with the computer, and 1,000's of recipes available with just a short search, I fear the tradition of passing down beloved family cookbooks may stop.
And I completely understand the draw of keeping something made near your hometown, Jean!
I think the days of passing on cookbooks are almost gone too. I have recipes saved on Pinterest and in an app and I love to type the ingredients I have on hand into Google and see what recipes pop up. I got rid of my old cookbooks when we moved.
My sister gave me a small box of items I wanted from our parents house when I visited. One of the items is a blue Carnival glass cup with the orange tree pattern on it. I looked it up on the internet when I got home and found they were made in 1905 to 1920. It was used by my grandmother to keep buttons in and that jives with the age of the cup. I wasn't old enough to remember that, but my Mom had told me about it. When my brother and sister asked me what I wanted when they were getting the house ready to sell, I mentioned that cup. Both were mystified and had no idea what I was talking about. I told them where it was and sure enough it was right there. Am I the only one that noticed these things and asks about them? I guess the three of us have different interests since none of us wanted the same mementos.
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