I want more social stuff in my life-anyone else? (divorce, communities, state)
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I admit to being a bit worried about making new friends in Florida, our new winter home. Here in the city we've both got work friends (former colleagues), music friends (like to hear live music in bars), and a variety of other associations. At the cottage, in the summer, we have long-time neighbours, and brother nearby. In Dunedin, we have one couple who are friends already, but the rest is a blank slate.
I suspect we'll be actively seeking out live music in the many bars around our place, and so I guess we'll get to know some of the regulars, and thus other snowbirds. My husband intends to make friends at St. Petersburg College (he's an academic). We both want to do some kind of volunteering, but not sure what yet. I may look into some naturalist-associated activities or clubs, since I love the outdoors.
Interesting thread, Bette. I think many of us who are now retired, have more time for socializing--or so we thought! Both my husband I crave social interaction now that we moved to a rural area and have found it to be too isolated for us. We have no family here and there are no social actvities, and the locals are clannish. We drive 100 miles round trip every week to a church where we not only get fed spiritually but also socially. We are trying desperately to sell and move back to the city. Maintaining social contacts helps one to keep healthy physically and mentally they say. And, women seem to need the *physical* connection with friends (not just phone and internet) more than men do.
Senior College? We do have Senior Centers, but they close before my wife gets home from work and aren't open on weekends.
Senior College is NOT the same as a Senior Center. In my area (and many others) we have the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute that is affiliated with one of the local colleges. I'm posting a link below that shows the locations in Florida. Maybe you'll find a class that interests you:
Thanks for starting this thread, Bette. It is fascinating to me because I became much more social after retiring. I didn't have the time or energy to deal with people socially after working 60+ hours a week (working in social services, which was draining). But in retirement, I have all the time and energy to be social. But ironically, I feel like very few people share my new-found interest in socializing! The problems (as I see it are):
1. For us early retirees (I retired early, five years ago, at 52), most of our peers are still working. They are therefore not available on weekdays and can be too tired on week nights (which I fully understand. Although some of our politicians would like to raise the SS age to 67, it can be very hard to work in your 50s and 60s in most jobs). Weekends are for doing errands.
2. People 50+ are extremely involved with their kids and grandkids (more so than any previous generation). I think less people are moving to what used to be retirement meccas like Florida. All the people in my small retirement community moved to be close to their kids. There is nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but it can very easily lead to their not seeking a life beyond their family. I have friends in their midsixties who are constant babysitters for their grandkid---to the point where I wonder what their daughter would do if they weren't available.
3. People (and I think this includes all ages, except for maybe those in their twenties) are so enthralled with electronics/media that this takes priority over face to face socializing. A quick text, e-mail, or Facebook postings seems to be sufficient for them. I have "friends" who only want to get together with me to go to a movie, without sharing a meal or even coffee! And many friends who have so many TV shows that they want to watch (and for some reason, not tape/record them) that they don't have any time in their schedules to get together.
Interesting thread, Bette. I think many of us who are now retired, have more time for socializing--or so we thought! Both my husband I crave social interaction now that we moved to a rural area and have found it to be too isolated for us. We have no family here and there are no social actvities, and the locals are clannish. We drive 100 miles round trip every week to a church where we not only get fed spiritually but also socially. We are trying desperately to sell and move back to the city. Maintaining social contacts helps one to keep healthy physically and mentally they say. And, women seem to need the *physical* connection with friends (not just phone and internet) more than men do.
We used to own a cabin on 40 acres of forest surrounded by 1000's of other acres. We thought that we'd retire there and expand the cabin(which we built by hand with my wife and son). But when we started visiting on weekends we found that the people who were nearby and encouraged us to come because they would visit us often, almost refused to visit us at the cabin. We found that their friends that we'd been introduced to and gone to parties with, were kind of standoffish. And we found that except for a very small group, the political and religious climate was way way too conservative for us. And we also found that the friends who didn't turn out to be as good friends as they said they would be were also intensely lonely themselves.
So we were lucky. We realized it was a great place to get away from the bustle to, but we discovered that we couldn't live there. So it took us two years on the market to sell it, but we did. And then we renovated our current house completely, and recently sold that. We are moving away, but to a place where there are lots of other retired people who are mostly like us.
jazzcat22:It is fascinating to me because I became much more social after retiring. I didn't have the time or energy to deal with people socially after working 60+ hours a week (working in social services, which was draining). But in retirement, I have all the time and energy to be social. But ironically, I feel like very few people share my new-found interest in socializing! The problems (as I see it are):
2. People 50+ are extremely involved with their kids and grandkids. All the people in my small retirement community moved to be close to their kids. There is nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but it can very easily lead to their not seeking a life beyond their family.
This is so true. I often wonder if the kids moved far away to get away from their parents, and what they'll do if their kids move again.
3. People (and I think this includes all ages, except for maybe those in their twenties) are so enthralled with electronics/media that this takes priority over face to face socializing. A quick text, e-mail, or Facebook postings seems to be sufficient for them. I have "friends" who only want to get together with me to go to a movie, without sharing a meal or even coffee! And many friends who have so many TV shows that they want to watch (and for some reason, not tape/record them) that they don't have any time in their schedules to get together.
So strange, and I just don't understand that either.
Senior College is NOT the same as a Senior Center. In my area (and many others) we have the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute that is affiliated with one of the local colleges. I'm posting a link below that shows the locations in Florida. Maybe you'll find a class that interests you:
YES....A senior College is very very different than a senior center. But the Osher Life Long Learning Institute is mainly focussed toward taking courses.
Senior Colleges are designed by seniors for themselves and other seniors to provide social and learning experiences to the group. Most of us have hobbies and skills we learned over a life time and wish to share or discuss with others. The Senior College system has courses, but mostly provided by the members of the organization itself. And as a result, there are lots of committees to make this happen so places to get together with friends for a common goal, and lots of social gatherings like Valentine's Day Dances, and wine and cheese get togethers.
Sometimes they are connected to a college, sometimes not. Acadia Senior College rents space from the College of the Atlantic in Bar Harbor, but we don't take any classes there.
Here is the website for the one I belong to in Bar Harbor, Maine:
Interesting thread, Bette. I think many of us who are now retired, have more time for socializing--or so we thought! Both my husband I crave social interaction now that we moved to a rural area and have found it to be too isolated for us. We have no family here and there are no social actvities, and the locals are clannish. We drive 100 miles round trip every week to a church where we not only get fed spiritually but also socially. We are trying desperately to sell and move back to the city. Maintaining social contacts helps one to keep healthy physically and mentally they say. And, women seem to need the *physical* connection with friends (not just phone and internet) more than men do.
I find interaction with others stimulating and as time goes on, I realize my husband and I need to socialize more. We work a lot so we have work acquaintenances.
I enjoy his company but I also want/need more "girl time" stuff going on and I'd like him to get a golf or tennis group going at some point. Our children play golf and he needs to pick it up again.
I am in a couple of book groups which I love, totally love and that helps! However, most of the women in the one group do not work and are very well off so most of their activities are daytime ones and I work. Lovely women however.
Senior College? We do have Senior Centers, but they close before my wife gets home from work and aren't open on weekends. Besides that, aren't the Seniors that go to these Center's much older than early 60's? The Senior Bible Study at church is good, but they don't have boats, only motorhomes and besides that.......the don't like any kind of drinking. Wife and I enjoy enjoy a couple of "cold ones", glass of wine or margarita once in a while. When we are on our boat, our cooler always has a 6-pack in it.
LoveBoating - why don't you look into a "couples" bible study rather than a "senior" bible study? We are in a small group at our church and they call ours "couples" bible studies, however, we have had several singles join us from time to time. Most of the couples are in their 50's; the leaders are in their 60's and I don't think they would use the word senior to describe themselves. You might have an easier time finding someone with your same interests.
Why don't you host something and have your beverages there? Then, there's no pressure and you may be surprised.
Thanks for starting this thread, Bette. It is fascinating to me because I became much more social after retiring. I didn't have the time or energy to deal with people socially after working 60+ hours a week (working in social services, which was draining). But in retirement, I have all the time and energy to be social. But ironically, I feel like very few people share my new-found interest in socializing! The problems (as I see it are):
1. For us early retirees (I retired early, five years ago, at 52), most of our peers are still working. They are therefore not available on weekdays and can be too tired on week nights (which I fully understand. Although some of our politicians would like to raise the SS age to 67, it can be very hard to work in your 50s and 60s in most jobs). Weekends are for doing errands.
2. People 50+ are extremely involved with their kids and grandkids (more so than any previous generation). I think less people are moving to what used to be retirement meccas like Florida. All the people in my small retirement community moved to be close to their kids. There is nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but it can very easily lead to their not seeking a life beyond their family. I have friends in their midsixties who are constant babysitters for their grandkid---to the point where I wonder what their daughter would do if they weren't available.
3. People (and I think this includes all ages, except for maybe those in their twenties) are so enthralled with electronics/media that this takes priority over face to face socializing. A quick text, e-mail, or Facebook postings seems to be sufficient for them. I have "friends" who only want to get together with me to go to a movie, without sharing a meal or even coffee! And many friends who have so many TV shows that they want to watch (and for some reason, not tape/record them) that they don't have any time in their schedules to get together.
I agree with all these. I work a lot but I would make time for friends b/c I know this is important. My sibs are extremely social and all have tons and tons of friends. They have also been able to capture the balance in life better than I have.
That's interesting about the not moving to retirement communities though - I'm in Florida and I still see a lot moving here but I do meet many who are childfree.
I remember my own mother who cherished her friends and vice versa. She is a good role model!
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I so agree!
