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That is too bad, Huck. The nature of getting older is basically one of making most of rather irrelevant to most of the rest of the world, lol. Isolating one's self further from those who DO care is sad.
We have noticed that my parents have lately mentioned FaceBook. We are thinking they are feeling left out - and they SHOULD feel left out. The grandkids post so much info and share photos w/ us, their parents, and we share family photos with each other and our friends. But my mom and dad are left out of the process. My dad received an honorary doctorate and we all took photos and shared them on FB - but my parents missed out on all that. THey are starting to ask about "that FB stuff" - and we hope they will decide spending some time feeling comfy with the computer is worth the trade-off to stay in touch.
THEY are the ones who complain about not being in close enough touch w/ the rest of us. Unlike what some others have mentioned, we are the ones who don't respond fast enuff to them, many times. It helps that they have a cell phone, but basically - we all prefer texting and using email than talking on the phone. My sister and I work, so daytime phone calls to/from my parents can be quite interruptive. They have become quite interested in how my sister and I stay in daily touch our kids - thru/ texts, AIM chat, FB, etc. We wish they would hook up so they wouldn't feel so left out.
No, they shouldn't feel left out. Why is it so difficult to pick up the phone and call Grandma and Grandpa? Or stick a few pictures in an envelope with a little note and (oh, God!) mail them to Grandma and Grandpa. Is it such an inconvenience to cater to the people who made your life on this planet possible?
Because your choice is email and texting, why is it necessary to insist that G and G learn? And if daytime calls at work are interruptive, why not let G and G know that and offer to chat with them on the phone in the evening? Are you so far away that an occasional visit is prohibitive? Isn't it rather arrogant to think that your way is the only way?
I shudder when I read an obituary that says "Online condolences can be sent to www.FuneralsRus.com"
I have the techno stuff, but I can certainly sympathize with the people who would rather see and hear their loved ones than the impersonal Facebook venue.
Facebook friends are not real friends. This is just HYPE by facebook. Older people generally want to have real relationships, not these internet facebook things.
I am not on Facebook and it isn't because of age. I just don't care to particpate. I do know a few young people who feel the same. I have nothing against it. It just is not my cup 'o tea.
No, they shouldn't feel left out. Why is it so difficult to pick up the phone and call Grandma and Grandpa? Or stick a few pictures in an envelope with a little note and (oh, God!) mail them to Grandma and Grandpa. Is it such an inconvenience to cater to the people who made your life on this planet possible?
Because your choice is email and texting, why is it necessary to insist that G and G learn? And if daytime calls at work are interruptive, why not let G and G know that and offer to chat with them on the phone in the evening? Are you so far away that an occasional visit is prohibitive? Isn't it rather arrogant to think that your way is the only way?
I shudder when I read an obituary that says "Online condolences can be sent to www.FuneralsRus.com"
I have the techno stuff, but I can certainly sympathize with the people who would rather see and hear their loved ones than the impersonal Facebook venue.
I live in a complex with many elderly people. They wait for the mail to come and eagerly go out to retrieve their mail. I am sure they are looking for a letter or greeting card to brighten their day. Sadly, not much arrives in the mail these days.
For at least 20 years, I have heard people say "I don't have time". I am so tired of hearing that excuse. We all have 24 hours in the day. If something is important to these people, the task will get done. If they do not contact you, then you are probably at the bottom of their list. So, accept it and move on to people who actually have time to care about you.
To expect anyone elderly or not to adapt to your accepted way of communicating is simply unacceptable. I for one will not participate.
What is it about Facebook? Is it the trendy thing to do? I do not need 100+ stranger friends. Nor do I need to send an e-mail to a so called friend for the world to read. I know you can prevent that for happening. But, do you think this person will have the time to send you a personal e-mail? I doubt it.
So all of you people who think you are having loving connections with your family & friends through Facebook, think again.
At age 65 I started using computers at the Pentagon in 1975, was using the Internet as soon as it was available, owned my first home computer in about 1985 and owned my first cell phone about a year after they became available. I now have a desktop and a laptop, a wireless router for both as well as a smart phone but don't use the latter as a mini-computer. To me, a phone is a phone although the ability to check email does come in handy occasionally - very occasionally. We have several email accounts and we bank and pay our bills online. Very quick and handy. Same with an ATM card. voice mail and caller ID.
Does that mean I'm a relatively "wired-in" old fart, or what?
I live in a complex with many elderly people. They wait for the mail to come and eagerly go out to retrieve their mail. I am sure they are looking for a letter or greeting card to brighten their day. Sadly, not much arrives in the mail these days.
For at least 20 years, I have heard people say "I don't have time". I am so tired of hearing that excuse. We all have 24 hours in the day. If something is important to these people, the task will get done. If they do not contact you, then you are probably at the bottom of their list. So, accept it and move on to people who actually have time to care about you.
To expect anyone elderly or not to adapt to your accepted way of communicating is simply unacceptable. I for one will not participate.
What is it about Facebook? Is it the trendy thing to do? I do not need 100+ stranger friends. Nor do I need to send an e-mail to a so called friend for the world to read. I know you can prevent that for happening. But, do you think this person will have the time to send you a personal e-mail? I doubt it.
So all of you people who think you are having loving connections with your family & friends through Facebook, think again.
Agreed on all counts. And for those who say there isn't time, what are you doing with all that time you say you save by paying bills on line, posting your doings on FB and Twitter? I would think that with all that time on your hands you would have enough to have some personal contact with the people who love you enough to sit and wait (and hope) to hear from you.
As for FB "friends", tell them you're moving on Saturday and see how many show up to help. That's how you tell who your real friends are.
Last edited by theatergypsy; 10-07-2011 at 06:13 AM..
I'm tech savvy and think most people in my age group are (early 60's). I could not exist without technology. Would be bored out of my skull.
This gave me a good laugh. Growing up, we were not allowed to say "I'm bored". That quickly got us a laundry list of things that needed doing, including the laundry. So we found something to do. Without computer technology, you could take a walk, visit a friend, bake a pie, write a (gasp!) letter, read a book, ride a bike, learn a skill, phone a friend, go to the movies, play an instrument, listen to music, draw a picture, take a nap.
Do I like my laptop? You betcha. I can access so much information that was unavailable to me unless I went to the library and searched for it. Which I often did. But I could, if forced, live without it.
I'm glad to have a cell phone. It isn't "smart", I am. It's a TracFone, only three people have the number, and it's for my convenience in emergencies.
One thing I wouldn't want to live without is my Kindle. But other than that, I can always find something to do. Right now, it's laundry.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with Facebook......especially when people don't live close to relatives or friends! There is a misconception of the word "friends" though. On Facebook YOU choose who will be your "friend", but that "friend" could have "friends" that you don't know. Sometimes profanity can be on Facebook, but I'm seeing more and more profanity now on regular tv shows than I ever did before. As far as e-mail goes, the entire world doesn't see your e-mails unless your acct is hacked. Having an e-mail "hacked" is like anything else that happens in life.......it simply can happen!
Anyway, I do understand that some seniors simply don't want to have anything to do with a computer, the internet or any of the other modern day electronics and that is entirely up to them.
I live in a complex with many elderly people. They wait for the mail to come and eagerly go out to retrieve their mail. I am sure they are looking for a letter or greeting card to brighten their day. Sadly, not much arrives in the mail these days.
For at least 20 years, I have heard people say "I don't have time". I am so tired of hearing that excuse. We all have 24 hours in the day. If something is important to these people, the task will get done. If they do not contact you, then you are probably at the bottom of their list. So, accept it and move on to people who actually have time to care about you.
To expect anyone elderly or not to adapt to your accepted way of communicating is simply unacceptable. I for one will not participate.
What is it about Facebook? Is it the trendy thing to do? I do not need 100+ stranger friends. Nor do I need to send an e-mail to a so called friend for the world to read. I know you can prevent that for happening. But, do you think this person will have the time to send you a personal e-mail? I doubt it.
So all of you people who think you are having loving connections with your family & friends through Facebook, think again.
Loved this! Yours too, TheaterGypsy! I agree with the "not having time" to call or send a personal one-on-one e-mail---these people sure have the time to post inane photos, links to YouTubes, update their status, etc. I posted on the Food and Drink forum here how friends who used to send a thank you note/e-mail/phone call after coming over for dinner have now stopped.
Facebook is incredibly shallow. I'd much rather read all the interesting posts here. I've had people who contact me to "friend" me---I'm not sure who they are. When I ask them, I never get a reply.
I was blown away by this Krishnamurti quote and think it applies here:
"It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
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So we found something to do. Without computer technology, you could take a walk, visit a friend, bake a pie, write a (gasp!) letter, read a book, ride a bike, learn a skill, phone a friend, go to the movies, play an instrument, listen to music, draw a picture, take a nap.
