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I have noticed that by the time folks reach their 60s, they typically have a lot of framed photos throughout their houses. A lot of folks even have whole walls photos hung in arrangements.
I have never had photos out - I keep photos in albums and on my computer . . . and have a few favorite ones framed and in my office on bookshelves.
A friend commented about this recently. She asked why I didn't have any photos out. I had never really thought about this . . . I have surely noticed photos in other people's homes - and usually thought they looked cluttered and disruptive w/ most people's decorating schemes, lol. But I figured - if that makes someone happy, their business.
My friend said - doesn't that make your family feel that you are not acknowledging them by not having their photos out?
I had never even thought of such a thing before. So just wondering - do you feel that by having a photo out in the living room or family room or on the walls - that is acknowledging a family member? And not having photos out means you are not acknowleding them?
I have exactly one framed photo showing in my house, a group photo of us all at my youngest son's wedding. I have many more, stored in boxes for whenever I feel a need to look at them. Personally I cannot stand having framed family photos in the house, it's kind of eery and in some way narcissistic (to me). I also don't like seeing these in other people's homes, it just sort of gives me a boxed-in feeling about that person, like they need all these photos to verify who they are (sorry, don't mean to be offending, it's just how I honestly feel). The worst thing, when you're showing a home to sell, is for a buyer to walk in and see framed family photos on tables, mantles, and walls. Anyone who knows anything about home staging says to take them down.
We have a small hallway that's our photo "gallery". But has has nothing at all to do with acknowledging the people in the photos. I started it when my m-i-l sent a few old photos, when I married DH. It included a photo of him as a tot. Then my mum had her grandma's wedding photo restored, and sent us all copies. So I went through all our photos and put together a "family history" set.
My mother had a wall of family members photos, but almost all of them were dead. So they looked more like antique photos, and people loved the one of my great great grandmother on the front porch in a rocking chair smoking a corn cob pipe.
I loved the idea, but hubby felt the family thing was just so done.... so instead of family members we have loads of old Hollywood autographs and memorbilia on the walls. Makes for livier conversation when people walk in.
My mother had a wall of family members photos, but almost all of them were dead. So they looked more like antique photos, and people loved the one of my great great grandmother on the front porch in a rocking chair smoking a corn cob pipe.
I loved the idea, but hubby felt the family thing was just so done.... so instead of family members we have loads of old Hollywood autographs and memorbilia on the walls. Makes for livier conversation when people walk in.
For fun, make up some good stories to go with the memorabilia. You know -- "Well, I remember the last time old Frank Sinatra dropped in for a visit. He said that . . . " Or "For our wedding, my mother's second cousin, Judy Garland, gave us . . . ."
But more seriously, I believe that I am who I am because of the people who went before me, and I enjoy having their photographs and artifacts around. I think that this philosophy is called "paleoconservative," although without political overtones. Other people either may not know who went before them, or may not care. It's just a matter of personal style, I suppose.
Last edited by Hamish Forbes; 12-07-2011 at 11:18 AM..
I have lots of boxes of photos. I also do not care for the family gallery on the living room walls. We have moved too often and find that they do detract from showing off your home so we have just collected boxes for the kids to do something with later on.
Actually, I do have 3 nicely matted and framed photos from my husband's parents in a nook of our hallway upstairs - they are all black and white and from a different era. I never knew any of the people in the photos so it feels like artwork to me.
Thank you all for making me feel better about this. My mother has photos all over the place and one big shrine when you walk in. I really dislike it - very junky looking. One of my sisters calls it the altar - mother even has two candles on it and a religious statue (praying hands, maybe?? can't remember what she put there now) in the middle. If it gives her some kind of comfort, then that is her business, of course! Just seems junky to me.
However, that has nothing to do w/ my aversion to having photos all over the place - I have never displayed photos, except one of my hubby, in our bedroom, and then a few others I particularly like of the kids and hubby in my office.
I have found myself thinking about this "acknowledgment" thing ever since my friend said this to me so appreciate your feedback very much.
I believe that I am who I am because of the people who went before me, and I enjoy having their photographs and artifacts around. I think that this philosophy is called "paleoconservative," although without political overtones. Other people either may not know who went before them, or may not care. It's just a matter of personal style, I suppose.
Two of the other pictures on my mothers wall: a baby picture of my Dad on the left hand side, under the large oval portrait of his mother. His was a sepia toned picture of him in a bassinet, probably on his christening, wearing a lacy collar. He was smiling at the camera, his blonde hair in a big curl straight up, his little hands balled into fists, right one higher than the other.
On the right side of the wall -- my baby picture, in color tones. I was in a bassinet, wearing a lacy dress. I was smiling at the camera, my blonde hair in a big curl straight up, my little hands balled into fists, right one higher than the other.
Everyone thought it was the same picture, one done in sepia and one in color, because we look alike, and it was taken at the same age....and it was the exact same pose....
I have small pictures of my grandchildren here and there - a little frame with my granddaughters eating an ice cream cone - put that little cuite on a book shelf, a picture of my grandson at the beach by my bedside table....but not those big photo walls with gigantic staged portraits (not my thing at all)....I rotate out the standing frames I have, never having more than 3 or 4 out in the whole house.
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