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My husband, a retired teacher, was always very careful - if he had to work with a student after school, doors were always open, etc. My sister, a retired elementary school teacher, said it was difficult sometimes to deal with first graders - if they hurt themselves, they wanted a hug. You always had to stop and think about doing anything that could be "misinterpreted".
On the other hand, we once lived in a town where the principal of the HS was convicted of molestation. No one could believe it - he was well liked by both parents and students, never a whisper of scandal. We knew him and it was hard to come to terms with what he had done. So I guess there are two sides of this very difficult issue.
We mostly have to be careful around church and sports.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this!
Curmudgeon...I feel your pain ...do you believe in prayer?
This is not the younger generation, but the older generation.
Husband & I worked hard all our lives. Saved for our retirement. Sold house in expensive state & downsized to 900 sq. ft home with one bedroom & moved to a state with a lower COL. Raised 3 kids and sent them all to college. Now living a very modest lifestyle we find our small retirement nest egg quickly being spent on the cost of assisted living for mother. She suffered severe stroke 2.5 years ago and used her life's savings on 24/7 nursing care. Medicaid application was denied because she gave tuition money to a few of her 12 grandchildren 4 years ago.
When our money runs out, then what? Will assisted living evicted her since we no longer can afford the fees? I have 2 other siblings who are financially unable to provide any help. Thoughts?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this!
Curmudgeon...I feel your pain ...do you believe in prayer?
This is not the younger generation, but the older generation.
Husband & I worked hard all our lives. Saved for our retirement. Sold house in expensive state & downsized to 900 sq. ft home with one bedroom & moved to a state with a lower COL. Raised 3 kids and sent them all to college. Now living a very modest lifestyle we find our small retirement nest egg quickly being spent on the cost of assisted living for mother. She suffered severe stroke 2.5 years ago and used her life's savings on 24/7 nursing care. Medicaid application was denied because she gave tuition money to a few of her 12 grandchildren 4 years ago.
When our money runs out, then what? Will assisted living evicted her since we no longer can afford the fees? I have 2 other siblings who are financially unable to provide any help. Thoughts?
Not to take attention away from Curmudgeon's nightmare....as to yours, first of all you should not be paying for assisted living for anyone but yourselves! All you're doing is taking the responsibility off of mother's own resources. When hers gets down to a few grand, Medicaid should kick in. Have you gotten more than one opinion from estate lawyers? Keep trying to get Medicaid to cover her.
When hers gets down to a few grand, Medicaid should kick in.
Mother has already exhausted her assets and doesn't qualify for Medicaid at this time b/c she paid for college tuition, per this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by moereiss
She suffered severe stroke 2.5 years ago and used her life's savings on 24/7 nursing care. Medicaid application was denied because she gave tuition money to a few of her 12 grandchildren 4 years ago.
That said, I think in another year she can reapply for Medicaid. Five-year lookback, I believe.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this!
Curmudgeon...I feel your pain ...do you believe in prayer?
This is not the younger generation, but the older generation.
Husband & I worked hard all our lives. Saved for our retirement. Sold house in expensive state & downsized to 900 sq. ft home with one bedroom & moved to a state with a lower COL. Raised 3 kids and sent them all to college. Now living a very modest lifestyle we find our small retirement nest egg quickly being spent on the cost of assisted living for mother. She suffered severe stroke 2.5 years ago and used her life's savings on 24/7 nursing care. Medicaid application was denied because she gave tuition money to a few of her 12 grandchildren 4 years ago.
When our money runs out, then what? Will assisted living evicted her since we no longer can afford the fees? I have 2 other siblings who are financially unable to provide any help. Thoughts?
We didn't anticipate it either but in the back of our minds I think we always acknowledged the possibility. After all, between us we have seven adult children. ANYTHING can happen or be a statistical probability.
Yes! I believe in prayer and have experienced it working in my life.
I would have to agree that that you need to keep some of your nest egg for your own retirement needs and future bumps in the road. Supposing Mom lives in the same state you do, it ought to have a number of senior-friendly programs. It's a shame she used up her assets on home nursing assistance 24/7 as a nursing home, as undesirable to her as that might be, would have been much cheaper.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all of you whole but I can't. We went through precisely this with my wife's mother who insisted on 24/7 unskilled care rather than moving into assisted living. The former was infinitely more expensive and her assets dwindled greatly in a relatively short period of time. However, she died when she was within a matter of months of running our of money she neither we (my wife was an only child) nor she had to face the issue head-on.
Perhaps it would help for you to have a consultation (often free) with an elder law attorney as well as contact the Area Agency on Aging serving her area to look at alternatives.
Mdicaid will help if she requires a skilled level of care. If not, being Medi-Medi will lower some of her other health care costs.
I don't understand anything you say. She's been disqualified from Medicaid for now. Does she need to moved in a skilled nursing facility to get that changed? What is Medi-Medi?
I don't understand anything you say. She's been disqualified from Medicaid for now. Does she need to moved in a skilled nursing facility to get that changed? What is Medi-Medi?
Only when the time comes that she qualifies. That's why I recommended consultation for the interim.
Medi-Medi = Medicare and Medicaid. Medicare pays its portion of the Medicare approved amount and Medicaid pays the rest. Depending upon the individual's circumstances it may also pay the Medicare Part B premium. At the very least it provides the benefits of a Medicare supplement without the premium. The end result is cost savings to the beneficiary.
But I do rather like not being understood. Keep 'em guessing!
After all, between us we have seven adult children. ANYTHING can happen or be a statistical probability.
Exactly! You can plan and do everything right, and if you are lucky, things will end up as you planned. But lightening can strike at any time, and change everything.
The ability to bounce back, and be flexible is a huge asset. Thankfully you seem to be doing just fine in those areas!
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Life throws curve balls...
