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I don't think that's quite accurate but as you will. My lack of sympathy/empathy has been directed at only those who squandered opportunities or used their homes as ATMs, not at those who fell on hard times that were virtually unavoidable. But by all means, believe what you wish to.
My stepdaughter is far from retirement (she's 36) as the ages of her children should have been a clue to. Unfortunately, she's also bipolar which was an element in finding herself unemployed. Obviously, she's receiving family support, ours, but I can't pretend to be overjoyed at the prospect, nor is her mother, my wife. However, we're glad we're in a position to help and will do what's necessary to see her back on her feet and the children safe and secure.
If you have any more shots you wish to take at me, try DMs. Thanks!
I am very grateful for my very modest lifestyle that I enjoy in retirement. But, I do know that without a few lucky breaks just a few years prior to retirement that I too would have been one of the millions of retirees wondering how I was going to put a roof over my head. No one is immune from hardships in one form or another that can impact one's lifestyle. As you mentioned, all we can do is carry on just as we have done for most of our lives.
At least you did not settle, as so many people do, in one of the 55+ communities where your grandchildren would not be welcome. Now, that would be a nightmare.
I am very grateful for my very modest lifestyle that I enjoy in retirement. But, I do know that without a few lucky breaks just a few years prior to retirement that I too would have been one of the millions of retirees wondering how I was going to put a roof over my head. No one is immune from hardships in one form or another that can impact one's lifestyle. As you mentioned, all we can do is carry on just as we have done for most of our lives.
At least you did not settle, as so many people do, in one of the 55+ communities where your grandchildren would not be welcome. Now, that would be a nightmare.
I wish you the best during these trying times.
Thank you. Thank goodness we were never attracted to a community in which we would have been powerless to help out. We've always valued our independence and, perhaps, this is the ultimate reason why. In any case, it's going to make for a hectic and fun-filled Christmas and the rest will take care of itself.
Last edited by Curmudgeon; 11-27-2011 at 03:01 PM..
Thank you. Thank goodness we were never attracted to a community in which we would have been powerless to help out. We've always valued our independence and, perhaps, this is the ultimate reason why. In any case, it's going to mske for a hectic and fun-filled Christmas and the rest will take care of itself.
Bless your heart. Just set some boundaries with the kids and they will learn respect. Might be a good opportunity for growth for them having an ex cop for a step grandpa.
Bless your heart. Just set some boundaries with the kids and they will learn respect. Might be a good opportunity for growth for them having an ex cop for a step grandpa.
And kudos to your father. I think we're gonna have fun. If not, there are always handcuffs!
Congratuations, Curmudgeon!
A whole new generation to teach the proper ways to grow, expand their horizons, be productive and responsible - a captive audience, as it were. Heh-heh-heh (eeevilly rubbing hands together). Teaching the joys of baiting hooks, catching that first big one,cleaning it for supper... and, YAY, snow! sledding, snowball fights, trekking through the woods, ice fishing...
A chance to continue to corrupt the next generation should never be neglected or passed by.
Seriously, remember, rules, rules, rules - and fair sharing. Otherwise you'll wake up, naked and uncovered, one morning, with two sets of youthful eyes staring deeply into your own, willing you to wake up to go PLAY!
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
Doesn't it always seem as soon as you get comfortable and find your niche something happens? As I've discussed so often, my husband and I had to help my parents financially - and I had done it on my own for years prior to getting married but I was so happy to get married thinking that might end.
However, in hindsight, I had great parents who had bad luck. They are both gone but I have now read their letters to each other and know they had dreams and how hard asking their children must have been. We survived.
You may have been put here to be a positive role model to her 2 sons. Please be there for them. Six and eight are great ages and it sounds like you could show them the real outdoors, take them fishing, etc.
I'm sure your stepdaughter hated to ask but these are hard times and families must come together as a unit to make it through these times.
PS - You can always come on here to vent.
PPS - I have not read the other threads but I think we here in this country need to start taking care of each other and sometimes, that means giving someone a leg up so they can start over.
PPPS - I feel for her 2 boys.
Yep! Seven kids in all and this is the one at risk. The rest are doing fine.
You're right on all counts. This too shall pass and we'll decidedly get through it and set stepdaughter on her feet. And you're absolutely right about Christmas. It will be a joy and the boys are going to have a ball with the RC bumpem' cars we have for them with drivers that fly out of them when hit.
Now would you please stop being so reasonable when I'm tryin' ta lick wounds here?
OK, Curmudgeon, now that I know you are of Scotish descent, you are tough. By the time I was 7 or 8, I had been in hospitals a lot by then for eye surgeries. When I would get down, my mother would point out to me all the less fortunate. All the time. Even when they had nothing.
So, you and your wife have so much. Your stepdaughter is in a very tough place but those poor children - they didn't ask for this. They may find your neck of the woods to be a great fit. So, hang in there and enjoy the blessings this will bring. They are healthy!!
They will decidedly feel welcome. This is not the first time we've had adult children and/or grandchildren in the home and especially for my wife's two daughters, wherever she has lived has always been "home" to them. The difference this time is that we're 2,000 miles away from them and retired which means less income than we enjoyed before. Would that we could afford to get them an apartment but that seems doubtful right now.
It will be fun having the boys for Christmas and Job#1 will be getting them enrolled in school here. Once stepdaughter finds work, we can at least take care of the boys after school so she doesn't have to pay for child care. Meanwhile, I'll have two resident grandsons to teach how to to shoot and how to operate the yard tractor. Should be fun for all three of us.
There's always lemonade. Sometimes it just takes a bit of time to find it. Get through the holidays first, take care of business starting January and the rest will fall into place.
Thanks for the suggestions and "good vibes" everyone.
What you give these boys now - in 20 years - may be returned to you - they will then be young men - and may be called to take care of YOU - or better yet, may offer. So, you never know.
My heart goes out to all of you. Just be together as a family. Show these boys what a family is and perhaps your stepdaughter will be put in a position where she will choose more wisely next time.
Got a call today from my oldest stepdaughter. She and her two sons are homeless in California - not a good place to be on any level, especially when unemployed. So, she has enough to drive cross country and we are soon going to go from a household of just the two of us to a household of three adults, and a six and eight year old.
Makes me wonder who I pissed off. Never in my wildest imaginings did I ever foresee this. Thankfully we have the room and the means but now I have to find the strength and the temperament.
Anyone else had younger generations descend upon them, post-retirement, and if so, how did you handle it and keep your sanity?
Well Curmudgeon, I don't know what I can add that has not already been said in the responses to your post. There are a lot of wonderful people in this forum, aren't there.....including you
When I first read your post, I immediately put myself in your shoes as I have a daughter that has 2 young boys and is pregnant with her third.....she is living with their father, a good provider. But I wondered what I would do if I found myself in your situation. A little scary, for sure.
I'm glad you shared this decision with all of us, because sometimes we all need a little encouragement. I too applaud you and your wife for stepping up and allowing them to live with you. Some might say it's a hand out....I say you are giving them a hand. I always think that what goes around comes around, and things always happen for a reason. You may not know that reason now, but some day it will be clear.
I like what someone said that, by setting an example, they might be the ones someday giving you a helping hand. You never know. I do agree that the little boys will be fortunate to have you as a role model, and your stepdaughter will learn (if she hasn't already) what being a good parent is all about and the value of a family.
You and your wife have my utmost respect and I hope things go well. Remember to just take one day at a time. And we are here for you!!
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