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Just want to be the umpteenth poster who has supported this post. Not healthy at all. My mother was a widow in her mid-40's. Fortunately she had many friends.
But I wanted to defend 55+ communities a bit. There are lots of different kinds, not all are gated and insular. We just bought into one on the edge of a small, walkable town. Yes, you can befriend people if you wish, and at the pool and in the hot tub it becomes obvious that there are many friends in this place. But being so close to town, it's also very convenient to all kinds of activities. It's also has quite an anonymous feel to it, like any apartment complex.
We chose it because it was close to town, and cheap. So far we've been to a couple of pancake breakfasts--that's the extent of our involvement with "activities".
I think the first point depends on the nature of the relationship - and the people in that relationship. My husband and I are very close - don't have many friends - but we are not joined at the hip either. During the day - or night (especially if he starts to snore ). I like chat boards (have been on them since the days of Compuserve - the late 80's) more than most get-togethers involving random people. Because I don't have to engage in pointless or stupid conversation - be polite if I don't want to. Can ignore - get mad - etc.
FWIW - my best best friend when it comes to talking about investments is a portfolio manager who lives in the midwest. I met him on Compuserve 20+ years ago. We've only met FTF with him and his wife a couple of times - but we exchange email and talk on the phone about once a month. And I enjoy these exchanges much more than I enjoy talking with random people about investing (and - after all these years - we talk about personal stuff too).
I've also made "foodie" friends over the years from working on food chat boards. And we exchange email - sometimes get together to dine when we're traveling (both in the US and abroad) - talk about trends in food/dining - etc.
I am not into current trends in social networking - Twitter/Facebook/etc. (hey guys - I'm washing my face now - or the grocery line is long). But I think that the internet has changed my concept of friends over the last few decades. I don't need to be with someone FTF one day a week - or a month - or a year - to consider that person a friend.
I also like doing various things my husband doesn't like to do. Like going shopping. And he likes to do things I don't like to do. Like going to the gym 3-4 times a week. So we do them alone. Or - e.g., - I always had a fantasy of walking the Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass (where the Players Championship is held) with my own personal caddy (it happens to be our golf club - but walking with a caddy - on that course - I usually play the sister course in a cart - that was a dream for me). My husband can't do that physically. But I did it last year - just me and my caddy.
I agree that not all 55+ communities are the same. I doubt any would ever be my cup of tea - but one size doesn't fit all IMO. So I am not going to pass judgment. I think the bigger issues these days when it comes to these entities are legal/economic issues (especially when it comes to newer communities that may never get built out - communities still in development where you will be competing with new construction for decades to come if you ever have to sell - or older communities that may require maintenance for which the reserves/resources of residents are inadequate). Whether they're condos/HOA/CDDs - etc. Of course - these issues aren't unique to 55+ communities. Robyn
Ok, ok......I get your point, but still have to say "oh well", sorry! My wife loves my humor and so does her brother. I guess two people out of all of society isn't too bad. Anyway, this thread isn't about my personality.
LoveBoaitng is a good guy underneath the humor, so give him a break. Seems like Curmudgeon is a good guy, too! (Mr. Santa) Not everyone is a charmer like my salesman DH!
The old folks' forum would be a pale shadow of itself without Curmudgeon and LoveBoating. Can't you just see them next to each other in their wheelchairs on the veranda of the nursing home unable to move away from each other?
The old folks' forum would be a pale shadow of itself without Curmudgeon and LoveBoating. Can't you just see them next to each other in their wheelchairs on the veranda of the nursing home unable to move away from each other?
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
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I like being around people sometimes, and I like being alone too. Where I work is very noisy, and sometimes it's nice to just sit in the quiet and read. I have plenty of aquitances and a few real friends, most of them share the love of bass fishing with me. So I guess I could take people or leave them either way, Hell my dog will always listen....
I like being around people sometimes, and I like being alone too. Where I work is very noisy, and sometimes it's nice to just sit in the quiet and read. I have plenty of aquitances and a few real friends, most of them share the love of bass fishing with me. So I guess I could take people or leave them either way, Hell my dog will always listen....
That's like the bumper sticker we see a lot here. The more I know about women - the more I love my truck. Women - who buy a lot of light trucks (I think it's over 50% these days) - might well say the same thing about men . Robyn
The old folks' forum would be a pale shadow of itself without Curmudgeon and LoveBoating. Can't you just see them next to each other in their wheelchairs on the veranda of the nursing home unable to move away from each other?
Do you enjoy speding time with other people (those who are NOT relatives)? Given the popularity of all the 55+ communities, I would think that most people do. But since a number of replies in another thread suggest many people want to be either solely be with their spouse or alone, maybe retirees don't want to make new friends or to utilize time in activities with others.
How do you feel about this?
I don't!!!! I tried the Active Adult Community scene aand found them pompous snots who insisted everyone do what they want. Frustrated Bureacrats who spent their careers making rules and going to meetings, both things I swore off when I retired.
My wife and I are content with our liife and don't need anyone organizing it for us.
... But I think that the internet has changed my concept of friends over the last few decades. I don't need to be with someone FTF one day a week - or a month - or a year - to consider that person a friend.
Yes, the internet has changed things tremendously. I have friends who are scattered around the continent, some of whom I have never met. That is so great, isn't it? And the friends I *have* met, but rarely see, I'm able to keep in touch with much better. I've been an internet user since before compuserve, starting back in 1981 (I was a computer professional.)
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I agree that not all 55+ communities are the same.... or older communities that may require maintenance for which the reserves/resources of residents are inadequate). Whether they're condos/HOA/CDDs - etc. Of course - these issues aren't unique to 55+ communities. Robyn
We don't consider our Florida condo as an investment, but more of a consumable. When we get old enough, we won't be able to make the trip, and we'll sell it, even at a loss. But for now, it's amazing, for us, we are totally blissed out right now.
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). I like chat boards (have been on them since the days of Compuserve - the late 80's) more than most get-togethers involving random people. Because I don't have to engage in pointless or stupid conversation - be polite if I don't want to. Can ignore - get mad - etc.
Give Him a Break
. Anyway, this thread isn't about my personality
. Robyn
