Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The more I research places to retire, the more I realize just how important it's going to be for us to find a town that has a really great place for seniors to hang out and make new friends.
I would love to hear about specific places in your town that fit this bill. It doesn't have to be a senior center, although those are great. If your town has a donut shop where you always see a group of seniors having coffee and shooting the breeze, I'd love to hear about it. Same goes for volunteer groups, libraries, whatever the place to go in your community is.
When I lived in Manhattan Beach I belonged to an incredible church that had lots of social groups. We weren't super religious, but this church was so welcoming to everyone that we were there all the time. It was called American Martyrs and if you're new and lonely in the LA area I highly recommend checking it out. Each group met once a week but the people in them were so friendly that once you became a regular you'd be invited to things all week long. That's the sort of place I'm looking for in my next town--I had no idea it would be so hard to find until I started looking.
So that's the sort of thing I'm looking for. Does your community have anything like this? If possible please say something more specific than "volunteering is great." Yes, I know--but I want specific suggestions since some volunteer groups are great for socializing (but sadly, I'm discovering others aren't).
Some other specific things on our wish list are in the post below, if it helps.
1. Mild winters, preferably no snow (a small amount is ok, but we'd prefer none).
2. Near a beach or a big lake with a beach.
3. Somewhat affordable. We can afford a moderately expensive town, but alas we cannot afford to move back to Manhattan Beach.
4. We don't really want a 55+ community in the middle of nowhere unless there's also a major airport within a 30-minute drive, as well as a major hospital. We'd rather be near a town of some sort.
5. We mostly just want to "hang out." We're happy to do some volunteer work but really the reason we'd be doing it is to make friends who then want to hang out with us on days when we're not working. We do not want to be in one of those groups like Kiwanis Club which involves mandatory meetings, lots of work, "being an officer" and all that.
We also do not want to evangelicize--religious groups and political groups are ok as long as we aren't required to try to push a point of view on some third party. That was the cool thing about American Martyrs--everyone in the community was welcome to their events. I like that.
6. Sports groups are ok but we aren't super athletic any more. We'd be fine with learning something new, however. If we move to a community where the thing to do is boating, we'll learn boating. It has to be a fairly inexpensive hobby, however. We can't afford to join a golf club or anything like that.
Any suggestions? If your town doesn't meet the above needs, it's cool--I separated this into a new post because even if your town doesn't have all the above, I'd still love to hear where the seniors hang out.
Good luck coming up with all that in one place, Caladium. My sense is that you'll only know if those desires are achievable by actually living somewhere and experiencing it first-hand, or not. What may attract one person to a group may not be what another wants, and visa-versa.
This is strictly my opinion but I would be very wary of planning my potential retirement venue based upon the possible inclusion by persons as yet unknown. Nice people can be found almost anywhere, as can opportunities to socialize. In deciding upon a location I would be far more concerned with such issues as demographics, population density, amenities (shopping, access to medical care, entertainment, etc.), political leanings, housing costs, weather, tax burden, COL and other considerations than I would who I may or may not meet once I get there to "hang out" with. Personally, I find that potentially very limiting and risky.
My wife and I have integrated well into our community to the extent that we wish to. We have helpful, caring neighbors and an active community should we wish to avail ourselves of the myriad of activities in which we could become involved. We also give back. It's a good fit for two basic "loners" who do not isolate themselves while at the same time are not particularly joiners. But it took a lot of research before our move and simply living here after our move to integrate.
When DH and I moved to Tallahassee from South Florida 15 years ago, I joined the Newcomers Club, and the friends I made in that organization have become my closest friends into the present.
We also joined and became active in one of the local synagogues, and although I would definitely say we are not religious people, we do feel connected to the local community.
DH was a very active volunteer (hospital, guardian ad litem) before he became disabled, and he met lots of people that way. You get back way more than you give when you volunteer.
One more thing: Tallahassee has a major university (Florida State), which provide easy access to sporting events, concerts, theatre, art, lectures etc. etc. etc.
There is also a very active senior center in town, but we haven't felt the need to make use of its many programs -- too much else going on in our lives.
Thanks Curmudgeon. It's going to be hard to find, I guess, but it can't hurt to ask. I never realized how good we had it in Manhattan Beach. I just assumed any city would have lots places you could go where (as the song puts it) "everybody knows your name". If I could afford it I'd go back there in an instant--but the reality is I need to find other cities that are like that, yet are within our budget.
I love where I live right now... but we don't have a place to hang out here, and that's not something you find in northern VA. It's fine right now because I have a very busy life, I have a job, I have a family here, and I have a husband to hang out with.
The thing is, I don't feel that need right now, but I suspect when I retire I will. The kids are moving to new cities, all of which are in places that have weather we can't tolerate. So we're not going to move to be near family. My husband is all the company I need for now, but the reality is one of us will probably die first and the other will then be very lonely and appreciate having a place to go "where everyone knows your name". I want to establish that place before this happens.
I see movies like Boynton Beach Club, which is about a group of seniors who make new friends after a spouse dies and they join a grief support group. The group has parties, plays cards, does things as a group. Soon they are doing all sorts of activities with their new friends, and they have the comfort of knowing that if the new friend moves (or dies or stops wanting to be friends) there's still a place to go. Are those places just in the movies?
Or is it that support groups are all that's out there? Nothing against support groups, but we don't happen to have any of the issues that usually get supported. I suppose we could pretend to be divorcees, join a support group, and then pretend to "find" each other through the group but that seems a rather pathetic way to go. I certainly don't want to have to pretend to be alcoholics because the only way to meet friends is AA meetings. There has to be something out there that's just an easy relaxed place to hang out.
When DH and I moved to Tallahassee from South Florida 15 years ago, I joined the Newcomers Club, and the friends I made in that organization have become my closest friends into the present.
We also joined and became active in one of the local synagogues, and although I would definitely say we are not religious people, we do feel connected to the local community.
DH was a very active volunteer (hospital, guardian ad litem) before he became disabled, and he met lots of people that way. You get back way more than you give when you volunteer.
One more thing: Tallahassee has a major university (Florida State), which provide easy access to sporting events, concerts, theatre, art, lectures etc. etc. etc.
There is also a very active senior center in town, but we haven't felt the need to make use of its many programs -- too much else going on in our lives.
Thanks! You are lifting my spirits. I knew there had to be groups like that out there. OK, Tallahassee goes on the list of places to check out.
Volunteering for a hospital might be one of the more sociable ways to volunteer. I'll have to look into that. Maybe I can volunteer to teach a tai chi class to patients, or something like that. We do Recording for the Blind right now, and also volunteer for the Fire Department and a group that picks up trash along the river. These are really rewarding things to do, and people are friendly, but we haven't made any friends doing this. You never see the other readers throwing a potluck or saying something like "let's get together to watch the game." Everyone does their service and then goes home.
In the interest of full disclosure I must tell you that the summers are brutal in North Florida. I don't know what your weather needs are but if you hate hot, humid weather, Tallahassee -- nice as it is -- is not for you.
I'm not a huge fan of hot humid summers but we have those here in VA too. I can tolerate it. Snow and ice are what we want to avoid, which is a shame because places like Vermont and the midwest probably have the socializing we'd like. Being far from a beach may be a biggest problem with Tallahassee for us. I know it's a funny thing to want, but we really want to be fairly near a beach.
When DH and I moved to Tallahassee from South Florida 15 years ago, I joined the Newcomers Club, and the friends I made in that organization have become my closest friends into the present.
We also joined and became active in one of the local synagogues, and although I would definitely say we are not religious people, we do feel connected to the local community.
DH was a very active volunteer (hospital, guardian ad litem) before he became disabled, and he met lots of people that way. You get back way more than you give when you volunteer.
One more thing: Tallahassee has a major university (Florida State), which provide easy access to sporting events, concerts, theatre, art, lectures etc. etc. etc.
There is also a very active senior center in town, but we haven't felt the need to make use of its many programs -- too much else going on in our lives.
I am your age - and we moved here to PVB from south Florida just about when you moved to Tallahassee. Just curious whether you looked at other places - and why you finally settled on Tallahassee. We looked at Tallahassee (only looked at places in Florida) - and it was just a little too "small town" for us back then (of course - both areas have grown a lot over the last 15 years).
BTW - you forgot about another major university in your neck of the woods (FAMU - one of the original "troika" of major Florida universities). And - if the OP doesn't know - it's also the state capital. So there are a lot of non-full time residents when school is in session - and/or the legislature is in session.
Also - what's the drought like these days? We have drought here in NE Florida too - but it isn't anywhere as bad as the drought in '98-'99 (IIRC - a lot of the lakes around Tallahassee went almost totally dry back then). Robyn
Curmudgeon's points were right on, imo...we retired early, bought land, built a house and migrated from just outside NYC to the mtns of western NC. We didn't know a person there.
I/we have never regretted it, other than being a day's drive from our adult kids/grandkid. We hang out with lots of people and groups, and types: golf buddies, hunting/gun buddies, bridge buddies, motorcycle riding buds, neighbors, et al.
No idea of your age, but I'm 64, have been retired since 53, and have not yet felt any need for a senior citizen ctr as a hang out. Most of our friends are even older than we are, and with all the hobbies and interests and volunteering we all do, no one has time to hang around the bingo parlor.
As for 'where', no clue; there are really good places all over this country, imo. And, good people to meet/become friends with everywhere. Not being a jerk, but your post reads like where to go and what to do when one of is dead, and there's no Senior Ctr down the street. Apology if I misconstrued, as I don't see how anyone here could rec'd location A,B or C as a place for you to check out. None of us is you.
Good Luck, mD
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
