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This post is heavy and at this very moment I hope someone here can post something to help you see it is worth it.
I think it's safe to say that in life we learn many things *after* it can be of any use to us. It also seems that doing your best to be virtuous does not seem to be of much help to our happiness either (since problems always seem to arise out of nowhere, bite you when you least expect it, and we all know about Murphy's Law). Although it's definitely better than being a non-virtuous person.
I vote for virtuous / pass it on mentality. My actions may not have been paid back directly but it was paid back many times without my looking for it. yes we have all most likely experienced being bitten after being virtuous. Don't carry a chip it will get real heavy after awhile. I hope you will be able to pull out of your feeling blue.
It seems that we're told to "aim high" while also to be "indifferent of the outcome". No matter how much I wrap my head around it, those two seem to be directly opposed and contradictory to each other, no matter how you try to see how they can be in harmony. In the Book of Ecclesiastes, even the king looked back at his life and described all of his efforts, worries, and achievements as nothing more than "chasing after the wind" (aka an overall meaningless endeavor).
Even after multiple moments where you realize that you've been "born again" and must be grateful of everything you have, our minds start to wander back to how things could be and how we wish them to be instead.
But they were not and will not be. I can not think this way because there will be too many regrets at least financially and it sure will be depressing so why go there. Today and hopefully tomorrow I will work toward what I want to be.
Even the whole "help others" mantra does not seem to make too much sense if you think about, since for instance, let's say you help those around you to learn a new skill. Now you feel great for helping and teaching them, but what happens when they become even better, and replace you? Now you've lost an occupation, and your family suffers as a result of it.
It seems that as we mature, we spend more and more energy trying to prevent bad things from happening, instead of seeking more pleasurable experiences than before.
I believe this part is true, as we mature we do go into more protective mode, we been through many knocks and have been bit, some of our own doing some beyond our control. When we were young we tended to live more for the moment.
The universe seems so indifferent that it seems like the only way is to accept things the way they are and as they come. But if we just accept things and play the cog in the machine of life, how are we any different from any inanimate object, such as a rock, or a tree?
You have to remember: not everyone believes in a soul. And not everyone believes in a Higher Power (or God, or Allah, or Yehwah).
We are talking about the meaning of life here . . . not the meaning of life after death.
ETA: for many folks, the meaning in life is directly tied to their belief that there is life after death, but not everyone believes that. That doesn't necessarily mean those folks will experience no feeling of satisfaction or meaning in their lives.
There are many different kinds of life meanings, religious/spiritual being but one.
There is life meaning through engaging with art (and all art forms), meaning through engaging in politics, public policy, law and ethics, or anything else engaged in with passion.
Many seemingly religious people suffer some of the greatest doubt and depression from not having meaning in their lives. As just one example, my church-going sister you'd think would have meaning from that. But when she retired she fell into a terrible depression and constantly bemoaned how there was no meaning in her life. She had had a clerical job, not a passionate profession, but she had found her meaning not so much with the work but in socializing with her colleagues every day. Finally, thank heavens, she has found a very easy part time job (receptionist/greeter) and she's back with the public again, with a feeling of meaning back in her life.
So life "meaning" can range from meaning in everyday mundane existence to religious-spiritual meaning to the huge existential questions as in Frankl's 1946 book "Man's Search for Meaning."
Meaning for me hovers between artistic and social cause. One doesn't have to be religious for those to supply life meaning.
Oh, bother! Can this forum please get back to retirement-based issues, not life issues that pertain to anyone and everyone of every age, including look-backs.
After many years I found that I was spending much too much time worrying about things, past, present and future. I would analyze situations, experiences and people and conclude that I was somehow unsatisfied, mistreated or even guilty. Some degree of self-analysis is necessary, but this isn't what I was doing - I was dwelling on the negative and building an overall feeling of unhappiness and dissatisfaction within myself.
A few years ago I realized this kind of "negative mind-speak" was not only counterproductive and sometimes paralyzing but that it kept me from being positively productive and ultimately at peace with life in general.
I have to constantly remind myself that I am not going to be 100% satisfied with everything that goes on in my life. I also realize I have the responsibility to do all that I can to do what I think is the right thing, learn from my mistakes and give myself some slack when I fail because ultimately that brings me peace even when things don't turn out.
When I find that my mind is going down that path of dissatisfaction, anger, blame or fear, I immediately turn my thoughts to something productive, enjoyable and/or positive. I am trying to retrain myself (old habits are truly hard to break), but I believe I have achieved a degree of success. My husband has noticed a change in me also.
I also am acutely aware and grateful for my many blessings. I am religious and I hold gratitude to God as something that is necessary and desirable - a very positive force for good and balance in my life. I give many hours of community service each week. It is funny how when I am actively engaged in doing good works and helping others, I completely forget about my problems. Whether or not my service is ultimately received in the spirit with which I offer it is not my problem. My service has the capacity and intention of easing the burdens of others - whether they take that help and use it as a positive force in their lives or not is out of my control.
The fact is - I don't want to be a bitter old woman, I want to be happy and content and at peace. I also want to have friends and loved ones who want to be around me.....being regretful and negative - well, no one wants to be with people like that.
Constantly rehashing the inequities in life is a sure-fire way to lead a life of misery.
Constantly rehashing the inequities in life is a sure-fire way to lead a life of misery.
My point precisely. If you're still alive you can turn it about. That pertains to any age, not just us geezers. Stinkin' thinkin' doesn't have to prevail at any age.
Curmudgeon said...Oh, bother! Can this forum please get back to retirement-based issues, not life issues that pertain to anyone and everyone of every age, including look-backs.
I thought this thread was started to address an introspective aspect at the retirement stage...being done with the "outer work" life and wondering about the meaning of it all. Seems ok to me to discuss this in a retirement forum.
I thought this thread was started to address an introspective aspect at the retirement stage...being done with the "outer work" life and wondering about the meaning of it all. Seems ok to me to discuss this in a retirement forum.
As you will. I don't. I find it very general and more suited for a philosophy forum.
As you will. I don't. I find it very general and more suited for a philosophy forum.
As always, just one man's opinion.
Well almost all the threads in the retirement forum are better suited to other forums except that so many of these topics are unique to seniors. What's the philosophy of a 30-year-old as compared with old folks like us? The meaning of it all at that age for me was seen through different color glasses. Same with things like "where to move," "how to invest," "whether or not to get a pet," etc.
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”
Well, at leasst Ralph lived to within one month of his 79th birthday! But I still favor happiness over usefulness although I agree with the rest.
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except that so many of these topics are unique to seniors. What's the philosophy of a 30-year-old as compared with old folks like us? 
The meaning of it all at that age for me was seen through different color glasses. Same with things like "where to move," "how to invest," "whether or not to get a pet," etc.
