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Old 10-07-2015, 06:47 PM
 
6,319 posts, read 7,225,186 times
Reputation: 11987

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Heres how I cope with loneliness;

watch a good movie
go online
shop
go for a walk
clean something

oh and, I got a cat again after my furbaby passed away. They are quite good company and I find myself talking to her all the time.

Oh and Curmudgeon: Wow, just wow. Amazing! But (theres always a but) Are you sure its what you want?
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Old 10-07-2015, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Central NY
5,946 posts, read 5,099,666 times
Reputation: 16881
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
Heres how I cope with loneliness;

watch a good movie
go online
shop
go for a walk
clean something

oh and, I got a cat again after my furbaby passed away. They are quite good company and I find myself talking to her all the time.

I am very sorry to read you lost your furbaby. It's a terrible loss, especially if you had her for a long time. I went through it in June with a cat I had 11 years.

I now have another sweetie that I adopted from the SPCA.
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Old 10-07-2015, 06:54 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,398,089 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
Wasn't one of the problems having COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) and still continuing to smoke?

None of my business either, and you do not have to answer!
We both have it with mine quite a bit more advanced but no oxygen. I quit smoking two years ago. Her turn is next, or not. There is not and never has been any smoking in the house or the car.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
I agree. Only Curmudgeon knows deep inside what she is made of.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. My only worry for Curm is she comes back to him, and then with the passage of time, decides she wants to go back.

Curm, not that any of this is my business and you certainly don't have to answer, but what was the reason she left again?
Combination of missing her daughters, granddaughter and grandchildren. Also, we hadn't been getting along terribly well and I'd become unpleasant. I think sleep deprivation and stress, coupled with frustration played huge roles with me. Not excuses. Just realities. I should have exercised more control. And before anyone asks, no, I never got physical. Never have. Never will!
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Old 10-07-2015, 07:02 PM
 
Location: Central NY
5,946 posts, read 5,099,666 times
Reputation: 16881
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Combination of missing her daughters, granddaughter and grandchildren. Also, we hadn't been getting along terribly well and I'd become unpleasant. I think sleep deprivation and stress, coupled with frustration played huge roles with me. Not excuses. Just realities. I should have exercised more control. And before anyone asks, no, I never got physical. Never have. Never will!


I never gave that a thought Curmudgeon.

My only wish is you be true to yourself here. You know what you can live with, you also know what you do not want to live with. Reunions are very powerful and can give a real sense of euphoria. Be careful.

A lot of people care about you and we are "here" for you!
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Old 10-09-2015, 08:17 AM
 
496 posts, read 551,635 times
Reputation: 2156
Maybe you can manage to maintain 2 residences, and just visit back and forth. Then, when you start to get on each other's nerves, one moves, and both of you wait till you can't stand it without each other again.

I am being serious.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
We both have it with mine quite a bit more advanced but no oxygen. I quit smoking two years ago. Her turn is next, or not. There is not and never has been any smoking in the house or the car.



Combination of missing her daughters, granddaughter and grandchildren. Also, we hadn't been getting along terribly well and I'd become unpleasant. I think sleep deprivation and stress, coupled with frustration played huge roles with me. Not excuses. Just realities. I should have exercised more control. And before anyone asks, no, I never got physical. Never have. Never will!
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Old 10-09-2015, 08:29 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,398,089 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
Oh and Curmudgeon: Wow, just wow. Amazing! But (theres always a but) Are you sure its what you want?
When she left I made her a promise that if she found she'd made the wrong move she'd always have a soft landing here. If I'm nothing else I've always been a man of my word.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYgal2NC View Post
[/b]A lot of people care about you and we are "here" for you!
Thank you. It helps!

Quote:
Originally Posted by yourown2feet View Post
Maybe you can manage to maintain 2 residences, and just visit back and forth. Then, when you start to get on each other's nerves, one moves, and both of you wait till you can't stand it without each other again.

I am being serious.
We'll be significantly subsidizing her daughter for the apartment for a time as she's living with her. She'll be able to return if she so chooses. At the very least it will give her a place to visit periodically when she feels the need for her family.

Twenty-four years of friendship, 19 of which we were married, are worth giving it another try.
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Old 10-09-2015, 08:52 AM
 
1,040 posts, read 868,994 times
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curm, I am praying for you.
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Old 10-09-2015, 09:07 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,398,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vicky3vicky View Post
curm, I am praying for you.
Thank you, sincerely. Me too!
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Old 10-09-2015, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Mojave Desert/Shell Knob
94 posts, read 203,866 times
Reputation: 161
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
We both have it with mine quite a bit more advanced but no oxygen. I quit smoking two years ago. Her turn is next, or not. There is not and never has been any smoking in the house or the car.



Combination of missing her daughters, granddaughter and grandchildren. Also, we hadn't been getting along terribly well and I'd become unpleasant. I think sleep deprivation and stress, coupled with frustration played huge roles with me. Not excuses. Just realities. I should have exercised more control. And before anyone asks, no, I never got physical. Never have. Never will!

I too have two daughters and five grandchildren in California and I miss them dearly. I understand. They all lead very busy lives. Between facetime, phone calls and occasional trips it has helped but for my youngest it isn't enough. Thanks to Allegiant's low fares a weekend in November here will help soothe her missing her mama.

Best wishes to you and I hope things work out for you!
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Old 10-09-2015, 05:24 PM
 
1,040 posts, read 868,994 times
Reputation: 6634
I really want whatever is best for you, and a divorce is rarely good for anyone. You are one of my favorite posters and probably my very favorite male poster. I think you are an incredible man. That being said, how are you going to stop being unpleasant? how are you going to make sure your wife sees the kids enough? how will you deal with sleep deprivation and frustration? these all need to be taken care of if you want things to work out [and I know you so do! I do as well!]
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