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I have exactly the same issue, TRosa. After a test or minor outpatient surgery that requires anesthetic, hospitals will not let me leave alone. My friends still work and do not live near me and although some of them would do this for me I do not want to burden them, so as a result I've put off having a colonoscopy.
ColorMyWorld, I too wonder who will look in on me when I'm old. There are so many people who are in the same boat that I imagine some solution will be found in the near future.
We are a social species; apparently during much of our species' early history before the advent of agriculture and the larger settlements which agriculture and the domestication of animals enabled, we existed in groups, or tribes of perhaps 20 or 30 or so individuals. We depended on each other and on cooperation with each other for our survival and for the survival of our offspring. I'm not saying there were no lone wolves among early humans, but it was not the prevailing pattern.
So for most people there is a basic and deep-seated need for companionship and interaction with other humans. But how much? That is the rub. Most of us also enjoy, need, and benefit from moments when we can be alone. But how much of this is optimal? Well, it varies enormously among us, and that is my point.
At one extreme end of the continuum there is the individual who would prefer almost no face-to-face contact with other humans at all, ever. Many autistic people inhabit this end of the continuum. At the other extreme end are the people who just can't stand to be alone and need to be almost constantly surrounded by other people. Most of us, by definition, do not fall at the extreme ends of the continuum - I see the continuum as a bell curve.
I do believe, however, that the middle of the continuum would be inhabited by people who need a significant amount of direct human contact in their lives to be truly content. This is why lonliness is often a serious problem in retirement, especially as friends die off and work friendships drift away.
All this is a bit more than just my personal opinion (although it is certainly that too), as fairly sophisticated, large epidemiological studies have found a correlation between living alone after retirement age with lowered longevity. The scientists who study this believe that in order to thrive both physically and mentally most people need meaningful human contact. The amount needed can vary a lot, is my main point.
I have exactly the same issue, TRosa. After a test or minor outpatient surgery that requires anesthetic, hospitals will not let me leave alone. My friends still work and do not live near me and although some of them would do this for me I do not want to burden them, so as a result I've put off having a colonoscopy.
ColorMyWorld, I too wonder who will look in on me when I'm old. There are so many people who are in the same boat that I imagine some solution will be found in the near future.
Luckily there are resources set up to have people look in one out this way if necessary. Lonliness really isn't a big problem for me, only an occasional occurance. Most of the time, I'm alone because I like it that way. I do have my moments and I quickly snap out of them, but do I need other people, absolutely, I need to know I have people that care and I care about; its a very human thing wanting to have that type of connection to others. Actually, its not just a human thing, there are animals that would die of lonliness without their pack or companions. Though I need my meaningful connections to other human beings, I don't need to be in the company of them or others often. I could go happily for weeks on end without seeing another being. I've enjoyed and still would enjoy living in a house filled with people, but I would still need my time to myself to hear the very entertaining voice that lives inside my head.
A very good friend lives a bit over an hour away, she works full-time and though she's been there many a time for me, I couldn't inconvenience her to the degree that I would need someone in this instance. I'm looking at a minimum of four of these appointments in the coming months, wouldn't think of allowing her to jeopardize her job for my situation. I'm sure I'll figure something out after this first appt. Someone I met recently told me to call if I needed her help, but she's a snowbird and has recently taken up a part-time job, I'm not going to ask her either, she's a new friend.
In truth, I'm not stressed about this, more annoyed with myself for not making a better transportation arrangement. I've always been pretty good at preping, but missed the target on this one and probably won't be the last, will try to do better in the future. Hopefully they will allow my ipod so I can tune them all out in the op room.
We are a social species; apparently during much of our species' early history before the advent of agriculture and the larger settlements which agriculture and the domestication of animals enabled, we existed in groups, or tribes of perhaps 20 or 30 or so individuals. We depended on each other and on cooperation with each other for our survival and for the survival of our offspring. I'm not saying there were no lone wolves among early humans, but it was not the prevailing pattern.
So for most people there is a basic and deep-seated need for companionship and interaction with other humans. But how much? That is the rub. Most of us also enjoy, need, and benefit from moments when we can be alone. But how much of this is optimal? Well, it varies enormously among us, and that is my point.
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Great post, guess I was gibbering while you posted that. just attached here parts that were in my head that you stated before I posted my previous notes
Call your local senior center, there are many volunteers there that could help and most likely also a senior van that can drive you home. Most require 24 hours advance notice for a ride. Perhaps a senior volunteer could pick you up in the van.
Call your local senior center, there are many volunteers there that could help and most likely also a senior van that can drive you home. Most require 24 hours advance notice for a ride. Perhaps a senior volunteer could pick you up in the van.
I'm not sure they will help me since I'm a year and two month from the official senior card carrying membership of 55. But I am going to give them a try. Thanks you for suggesting them. Maybe my sometimes having a body that performs like that of a 90, no (my 94 y/o neighbor seems more agile than I these days), so make that body acts of a 110 y/o will count for something and they will assist me.
As for myself, I think I'd be pretty depressed at my age now, if I hadn't met my wife 12 years ago and married. I was single (divorced) for 19 yrs, before meeting her and HATED being single for all those years and tried (sometimes too hard) to meet a gal to fall in love with again. When I was married, it was short, but I still LOVED how marriage felt! While being single, I found out quickly that I was the "marriage minded" type, not the "I love being single" type at all. During those 19 yrs, I spent way to many Valentine's Day's, Christmas's, Thanksgiving's, Birthday's, New Years Eve's alone........and didn't like it! BUT, what make things good for me, I DIDN'T stop looking for what I wanted........EVER and FINALLY found her and love her so, so, SO much!
Today, my wife works a full-time job and I'm somewhat retired. There are times that I do get very lonely at home when she is at work, but I start doing things around our apartment and most of that "loneliness" goes away. I look forward to hearing from her at lunch (cell call), once in the afternoon and she calls me as she is coming home from work. Then, there are those times that I just have to pick up the cell and call her just to hear her voice.
I knew a middle aged gal that use to privately drive folks about. To appointments, grave sites, etc. She charged so much a mile plus so much per hour. Her rates were very fair. She was not licensed nor bonded but so be it.
Ask around. People like this exist especially if you have no issue with a kid or two in the car there are many more that would it.
Doubt that would work. When I had my colonoscopy, the doctor's office wanted the name and phone number of the person who was picking me up. Then they called her when it was time...and she had to come to the office waiting room, sign in, and wait for me to come out.
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Let's face it - it's a continuum!
just attached here parts that were in my head that you stated before I posted my previous notes
