Have you made Cemetery/cremation plans yet? (55, spouse, relatives)

[AZgarden]

Just wondering if any retirees have thought about this and/or have done something like paying ahead for these services.

My Mom started this when she was 80, about 20 years ago. Everything is paid for. In my case, nothing is planned/paid for. I will probably just leave it up to the kids to do whatever they want with me.

[Curmudgeon]

Yes. Cremation then internment in a National Cemetary close to home. Reservations (my wife too) are already made. No cost to anyone else.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Yes. Cremation then internment in a National Cemetary close to home. Reservations (my wife too) are already made. No cost to anyone else.

Sounds similar to us. I like to have things like that in place. We even have the urn--I kept the one from my mother's funeral and it'll be used for both of us when our time comes. Those urns are expensive and there's no need to buy a new one every time.

[akck]

My mom bought each spots at the family plot for each of us and our spouse. We'd be responsible for the burial and marker stone. My mom wasn't insistent that we use use them, in fact they can go to our kids. As to other arrangements, I think we need to be settled in retirement before making final arrangements.

[Caladium]

Originally Posted by akck

I think we need to be settled in retirement before making final arrangements.

That makes a lot of sense. We made our arrangement early because of a family plot, but if we didn't have that I would have waited until we had decided where we'll live. I'd prefer choosing a place near my home--but since my inlaws wanted the family together we went that route instead.

[howard555]

Originally Posted by PhxBarb

Just wondering if any retirees have thought about this and/or have done something like paying ahead for these services.

My Mom started this when she was 80, about 20 years ago. Everything is paid for. In my case, nothing is planned/paid for. I will probably just leave it up to the kids to do whatever they want with me.

You need to find out if there are plots already paid for, for you.
My Father bought and paid for 4 plots. One for each of us.
Then he paid for his vault at the cemetery. He did not pay for his funeral.
The head stone was free through the U.S. Navy.
We never knew what the marker cost.

Well, as I got ready to get my plans in place, I visited the cemetery.
I want to be cremated and I wanted to know if:
1. My plot can be left empty, no service, nothing. The answer is yes.
2. My plot can have no marker. The answer was yes.
3. Can I buy a marker from any where, and the answer was NO.

This cemetery and many like them, require you to buy a marker from them only. You can not bring in a marker you bought somewhere else.
As it turns out, the cheapest ones they have is over $1900.00. That is if I pay for it now. The cremation was only $1100.00, so it seemed to me, the cost for the required marker, (bronze on granite) was a little high.
Many places sell bronze on granite.
But, if me or my relatives want a marker on my empty plot (empty due to cremation) then they have to buy one from the cemetery. If they want a flower vase it has to be bronze too, and has to be bought from the cemetery too.

So, we have 4 cemeteries. Two are City owned and they let you buy a marker anywhere you want.
The other 2 are privately owned by some company in Pa. when they only own 3 cemeteries south of Va.
So no telling what happens WAY down here.
Maybe they sell out, maybe they close it, etc.

So, I'm not pre-paying the marker or the cremation. My relatives can just use my money to buy the required marker.
They live far away, so the coroner would cremate me quickly, they can not wait days and weeks for family members to be found.

So, you need to plan for the funeral and the issues, if any, with the cemetery.
By the way, the funeral home does not try to contact your relatives.
That is the job of the coroner. and the coroner is involved in any death that does not happen in a hospital.

[reed303]

Originally Posted by Curmudgeon

Yes. Cremation then internment in a National Cemetary close to home. Reservations (my wife too) are already made. No cost to anyone else.

Others should know that "no-cost" National Cemeteries are only available to military veterans ( and their spouse, and in some cases children). Veterans who prefer a "private" cemetery can get a free headstone, marker, or medallion, from the VA for their plot

see details at Headstones, Markers and Medallions - Burial and Memorial Benefits

My wife is already at Fort Logan , and I'll be joining her there. We got one of the last "in-ground" cremation sections there. The VA has started to build columbariums (in-wall niches) at some of their cemeterys due to the rising popularity of cremations.

[brightdoglover]

Put them in my will and advance directives many years ago. Cremate and/or donate anything useful. The end.

[akck]

Originally Posted by howard555

By the way, the funeral home does not try to contact your relatives.
That is the job of the coroner. and the coroner is involved in any death that does not happen in a hospital.

I believe hospice care doesn't involve the coroner either. My mom died before my sister could make arrangements for hospice care. Hospice did call the next morning and was helpful, explaining what she needed to do since hospice wasn't involved before my mom's death.

For those who are interested, my sister had to contact the fire department, to send paramedics (a fire engine came too). They contacted the police department. An officer took and filed a police report. Finally, my sister was able to call the funeral home. I assume the coroner filed a certificate of death based on the police report, and coordinated with the funeral home. I believe the funeral home contacted SS and Medicare.

I believe all of the above would have been avoided or taken care of by hospice.

[gomexico]

Originally Posted by PhxBarb

Just wondering if any retirees have thought about this and/or have done something like paying ahead for these services.

My Mom started this when she was 80, about 20 years ago. Everything is paid for. In my case, nothing is planned/paid for. I will probably just leave it up to the kids to do whatever they want with me.

I have a space for my remains, reserved in the family plot at the cemetery. I haven't pre-paid my funeral, though. I've given some thought to cremation. But the final decision will probably be made by whomever it is who takes responsibility for me ... at that point. I expect to have an insurance policy to cover the burial costs.