Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (moving, friendly)
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TRosa, when I visit Sarasota, I'd like to meet you. Sounds like we have a lot in common (no, no, I don't mean memory loss. ) I hope your MRI results were good and all is well with you. Soak up that sun for me.
That would be great. The MRI was for my shoulder, just a bit of Arthritis/bursitis, that won't heal, so on to the next phase of treatments. Makes it a little more difficult carrying my beach gear, but I still get to there and am happily soaking up the sun. I spent a few hours at the beach this past Sunday, would have shared some pics, but, think I may have thrown my camera in the garbage. That's why no updates lately to photo album. Gotta remember if you knock something into the garbage, just because you don't feel like bending at that moment, don't be a lazy idiot or you may throw it out like I must have since I've not been able to locate it in months. Yes, I've checked the freezer and other locations. You'd think I would have learned after throwing away my bridge some years ago after setting it down on tissue. Why is you, (me anyway), supposedly regress in old age, but you don't grow new teeth? Just asking.
Interesting housing link for those interested in shared housing
That would be great. The MRI was for my shoulder, just a bit of Arthritis/bursitis, that won't heal, so on to the next phase of treatments. Makes it a little more difficult carrying my beach gear, but I still get to there and am happily soaking up the sun. I spent a few hours at the beach this past Sunday, would have shared some pics, but, think I may have thrown my camera in the garbage. That's why no updates lately to photo album. Gotta remember if you knock something into the garbage, just because you don't feel like bending at that moment, don't be a lazy idiot or you may throw it out like I must have since I've not been able to locate it in months. Yes, I've checked the freezer and other locations. You'd think I would have learned after throwing away my bridge some years ago after setting it down on tissue. Why is you, (me anyway), supposedly regress in old age, but you don't grow new teeth? Just asking.
Interesting housing link for those interested in shared housing
More Information about NSHRC (http://www.nationalsharedhousing.org/info.html - broken link)
OK, that's it. LMAO, thank you. You are definitely my long lost twin. I'll save my stories for when we meet. In terms of old age regression, my superb analytical skills enable me to answer that question. Y'see, seniors regress to when they were newborns. Newborns don't have teeth. When newborns progress, they develop teeth. Seniors don't regress and then turn around and progress thereafter. Thus, no teeth for us.
As for your link, another avenue to explore for seniors. And also an excellent way to render your post "on topic".
Not bad, eh? Click on a pic for more pics. Love that bathroom on Ref: HAVA1LC9I2715
Alrighty then - looks like we found our commune I don't know about the Euro = $ conversion.
Lenora - You are a tough ole broad () - you'll be just fine. Maybe you can do a will for each of us for some $$. Many would be simple enough with little or no family.
Hello. All! So nice to see familiar names.....been a long time since I've been on forum, even longer since on this thread. very happy to see that it's still going strong. want to catch you up a bit....I moved across country from IL. to Az about 18 mo ago, alone, didn't know anyone. Sometimes I think it's the best thing I ever did for myself, other times I think I was nuts to even consider it!!! I was married 33 yrs and hubby left me for our "friend" which just about knocked me down never to rise again.....have had health problems for years and years, mainly fibromyalgia and all the goodies that go with it.
I love Az and love the weather! But think this was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I have 2 grown sons, but can't afford to live where they do and the weather causes many problems for me. Spent about 3 yrs searching on-line and visited this forum many times before making the move.
Research, research before moving. Yeah, I know, you're smart enough to know that, right? But I thought I had done a really good job with that. I think there were messages I chose to ignore....like "you need to put things in storage and move out here and rent before buying" was a really good one I ignored because I didn't think I could afford to do that and because I had no one to help me move all that twice. It was a very good suggestion. I like where I live now, but if I had come out here for a while, I would never have chosen it. It's too far away from things I'm really interested in....which wasn't so much a problem a few years ago, but my health has gotten so much worse that I am practically house-bound now in just these short months. So, as so many on this thread have warned, it IS important, in my opinion, to check out potential public transportation available. Where I live now, there is none.
I am a friendly, outgoing person who made some contacts before moving, and had great plans for how I would handle things. Yeah, right! Health, again. It can really change things up. I am too fatigued all the time to drive the 20 or so miles to the church I located.(may sound ridiculous, but believe me, it's true!!!!) All my sorority sisters live at least that far away, and with traffic it takes about 25 to 45 min. to get somewhere. My big plans were for naught.(I have made 3 girlfriends in this community and I'm so thankful for them, but they are all active with their families/jobs). Being really close to things would help so much!!! Something to keep in mind. BTW, I was only 59 when I moved.
I am so lonely. I have tried to reach out many times. People are so busy with their established lives. But I must say, not much better before, and I had lived there 30 yrs and had many, many friends and contacts. If you are not healthy and can't get places for yourself, it's tough being totally alone. People mean well, but they kinda tend to forget you. Or don't want to be reminded or bothered because they already feel harried themselves.( most with very good reason) So I guess I want to stress to you all that it can be so hard to make friends in a new place UNLESS you can be active. And you just can't depend on that.
At this point, I'm barely hanging in there some days, but still trying!!! Will be in my first art/craft show this week-end and wondering with trepitation how it will go and how on earth I'll manage.
Remember those gals that are totally alone. There must be some more of us somewhere???? So far everyone I've met or known have had jobs (I can't work, can't qualify for ss disability) or are involved with family nearby. I have a few more things to investigate....it's the health problems that have really put a crimp in my plans. Good luck to all of you. If you ever get the commune going, I'm in!!! Don't do a lot of cooking (I'll take turns) but was an interior designer/artist for most of my life, so I'd be a good consultant!
Hello. All! So nice to see familiar names.....been a long time since I've been on forum, even longer since on this thread. very happy to see that it's still going strong. want to catch you up a bit....I moved across country from IL. to Az about 18 mo ago, alone, didn't know anyone. Sometimes I think it's the best thing I ever did for myself, other times I think I was nuts to even consider it!!! I was married 33 yrs and hubby left me for our "friend" which just about knocked me down never to rise again.....have had health problems for years and years, mainly fibromyalgia and all the goodies that go with it.
I love Az and love the weather! But think this was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I have 2 grown sons, but can't afford to live where they do and the weather causes many problems for me. Spent about 3 yrs searching on-line and visited this forum many times before making the move.
Research, research before moving. Yeah, I know, you're smart enough to know that, right? But I thought I had done a really good job with that. I think there were messages I chose to ignore....like "you need to put things in storage and move out here and rent before buying" was a really good one I ignored because I didn't think I could afford to do that and because I had no one to help me move all that twice. It was a very good suggestion. I like where I live now, but if I had come out here for a while, I would never have chosen it. It's too far away from things I'm really interested in....which wasn't so much a problem a few years ago, but my health has gotten so much worse that I am practically house-bound now in just these short months. So, as so many on this thread have warned, it IS important, in my opinion, to check out potential public transportation available. Where I live now, there is none.
I am a friendly, outgoing person who made some contacts before moving, and had great plans for how I would handle things. Yeah, right! Health, again. It can really change things up. I am too fatigued all the time to drive the 20 or so miles to the church I located.(may sound ridiculous, but believe me, it's true!!!!) All my sorority sisters live at least that far away, and with traffic it takes about 25 to 45 min. to get somewhere. My big plans were for naught.(I have made 3 girlfriends in this community and I'm so thankful for them, but they are all active with their families/jobs). Being really close to things would help so much!!! Something to keep in mind. BTW, I was only 59 when I moved.
I am so lonely. I have tried to reach out many times. People are so busy with their established lives. But I must say, not much better before, and I had lived there 30 yrs and had many, many friends and contacts. If you are not healthy and can't get places for yourself, it's tough being totally alone. People mean well, but they kinda tend to forget you. Or don't want to be reminded or bothered because they already feel harried themselves.( most with very good reason) So I guess I want to stress to you all that it can be so hard to make friends in a new place UNLESS you can be active. And you just can't depend on that.
At this point, I'm barely hanging in there some days, but still trying!!! Will be in my first art/craft show this week-end and wondering with trepitation how it will go and how on earth I'll manage.
Remember those gals that are totally alone. There must be some more of us somewhere???? So far everyone I've met or known have had jobs (I can't work, can't qualify for ss disability) or are involved with family nearby. I have a few more things to investigate....it's the health problems that have really put a crimp in my plans. Good luck to all of you. If you ever get the commune going, I'm in!!! Don't do a lot of cooking (I'll take turns) but was an interior designer/artist for most of my life, so I'd be a good consultant!
Hello artangel, that was a wonderful post. You raise some of the same thoughts I am having about the future. I have read your posts from "the beginning" and remember you moving to AZ (I have a sister in Phoenix and we used to live in Prescott). Glad to hear you are hanging in there, but sorry to hear you are so lonely. I really understand that feeling.
You said you will be in your first art/craft show....what is your craft? I used to enjoy going to craft shows; I used to cross-stitch. I can't walk too far at a time anymore (bad back) so going to them is out. Good luck with the show, I hope it is a success!
Remember those gals that are totally alone. There must be some more of us somewhere???? So far everyone I've met or known have had jobs (I can't work, can't qualify for ss disability) or are involved with family nearby. I have a few more things to investigate....it's the health problems that have really put a crimp in my plans. Good luck to all of you. If you ever get the commune going, I'm in!!! Don't do a lot of cooking (I'll take turns) but was an interior designer/artist for most of my life, so I'd be a good consultant!
Dear ArtAngel, Welcome back. I was wondering about you when I posted a "year later" recap in October. I remembered you moved to AZ and that you were bravely going alone.
Your post above makes me think of a lot of things. First, how lonely it is to grow older under just about any circumstance, even if we have some friends and family nearby. No one prepares us for this stage in life, we have few if any mentors in our culture who provide us with guidance and a sense of purpose as we age past 55. Those who are still in the workforce have that immediate daily purpose to get to work every day and that provides a great deal of structure. The "off" hours are few and relatively easy to fill with evening TV or reading and an occasional lunch out, plus housework.
When we're retired or unable to work, we have to fill a huge mass of time with some kind of hopefully meaningful activity at least some of the time. But when you put serious health challenges like yours into the mix, the challenge becomes so much greater. And as you say, people who already live in a place have their fixed routines and established stuff and friends. They are there for us sometimes, but not on a day to day or even weekly basis.
My sisters, grown kids, and friends here are not perfect, in fact I'm sometimes out of sorts with them over major stuff. But I'm not perfect either by a long shot. When I was in my 30s and 40s, I could afford to drop a friend or ignore my sister for months on end. Easy come easy go. But now suddenly in my early 60s I'm waking up to the fact that people in my life are not dispensable, that I have to work much harder to reach out, forgive things that bother me, realize my own faults, and try to keep these people close in. But even then it's so hard, b/c they're all working and when they're not they're busy with so many other things.
For me being near a support system for seniors is essential. I haven't yet investigated the local senior center, a mile from my house. Why? Because I'm not old, d*** it!! That's not me!!! There must be some mistake! And I'm not by nature a joiner--I was the one who gives classes, not takes them. I was the one who formed groups, not joined them. But the tables are turned now and I realize I need people. Heck, even with my health problems, I could live another 20 years possibly....
This is all my way of saying that the game changes complete;y at our age. Health problems are something we want to believe will not slow us down or seriously factor in, but they do. All decisions we make at this age should be based on not only best case scenario, but also worst. To be realistic.
If you feel you can make a positive change in location, and can afford to do it, maybe you should go for it as soon as you can. Getting rid of most possessions will make it easier. If you are religious or spiritual, you may find living communities that are supportive. Any place contemplated needs to have a really good support system including senior transport. Many of us can share what we know if you want suggestions.
You said you will be in your first art/craft show....what is your craft? I used to enjoy going to craft shows; I used to cross-stitch. I can't walk too far at a time anymore (bad back) so going to them is out. Good luck with the show, I hope it is a success!
Yes that is exciting! ArtAngel, can you post a pic?
I am in a similar situation here in NE Tennessee. I too retired here alone and feel that I made an excellent choice as long as I had my health. I have degenerative disc disease but was doing quite well at the time I moved here. However, the condition became steadily worse resulting in spinal fusion surgery last Sept. While the surgery helped, I still have problems standing or walking for any period of time because of the pain.
We have a very active senior center here but so many of the activities require a lot of walking which I cannot do. We have a transit bus that will pick people up at their door for doctor appts. But, it is not a senior designated service. I also would like to attend a church that is 30 miles away. Not too bad if you only attend once a week but too much if you want to take part in activities that are offered througout the week.
With much thought and research over the past year, I have decided that I need to move to a 55+ community where senior services are more readily available for people who are alone. Just the thought of a long cross country move tires me out just thinking about it, but I need to do it now before I get too old. At least, I do not have to purge & downsize. I think that I could be packed in less than a day and my condo is in good shape. No uprgading expense because I already did that. Plus, I live in a very desireable area of town.
I plan to return to Arizona settling in Sun City. It is a community that will allow me to live comfortably well into the future. Every service is within the community including a Safeway that does home delivery of groceries. In addition there are over 120 active chartered clubs where people can engage in all types of activities. Activities that do not require a lot of walking. There are 7 rec. centers & golf courses (do not like golf). Within the rec. centers are exercise centers, walking & wading pools with water exercises and indoor walking paths. There are a lot of arts & craft classes where people learn to make quality items. There are over 20 churches within the community of all denominations, including New Thought. All of them appear to have ministries that assist the elderly.
Younger people are continuing to move into Sun City. Half of the 43,000+ residents are under 70 years of age. In fact, there is a Next Gen club and members have to be under 67. You can join them for their activities if you are older but cannot hold any position on their board. If you get tired of Sun City, then venture out to Surprise, Peoria, Glendale & Phoenix for more activities.
About 7 years ago, I met a lady in her mid 80's at my hairdresser's shop. She was originally from Illinois. She and her husband had planned for years to retire to Sun City and did so after his retirement. Unfortunately, he died only 2 years after residing in Sun City. Her family pleaded with her to return home but she refused. She had met many close friends in that 2 year period and they had become family. It appeared that she had been living alone for about 20 yrs. but was not alone at all because of her new family of friends.
Where did you move to in Arizona? If you like Arizona and would like to remain then maybe you need to look at the numerous 55+ communities. Certainly these communites are not for everyone but as I get older they have become very appealing.
I think a lot of us would like to live in a quaint town amongst a diversity of people. Where younger neighbors looked out for older ones. Those neighborhoods probably still exist but are just not typical as they were in the 50's.
Sometimes it's just the little things.....but I can't wait every day to read what is posted on this thread!! I just love it!!
newenglandgirl, you are so insightful and replied to artangel's post so well. You touched on so many aspects of this decision to find a place to retire to or call home. I can relate to so many things you said. You have an excellent way with words.
SCBaker, your post was well-written as well. It seems like, for the most part, that everyone rallies around other posters. Everyone seems so suppportive. There has got to be something said for the Sun City area of Arizona as there are so many retirees there. Do you know when you plan on making the move? Best of luck when you do.
Keep the stories and posts coming ladies, they are all so informative, comforting and reassuring.
It's so good to hear back from women who have actually made the move and share with us the pros and cons and things to consider from those who have actually gone thru it, with total honesty. It really helps...
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) I hope your MRI results were good and all is well with you. Soak up that sun for me.
I spent a few hours at the beach this past Sunday, would have shared some pics, but, think I may have thrown my camera in the garbage. 
That's why no updates lately to photo album. Gotta remember if you knock something into the garbage, just because you don't feel like bending at that moment, don't be a lazy idiot or you may throw it out like I must have since I've not been able to locate it in months. Yes, I've checked the freezer and other locations. You'd think I would have learned after throwing away my bridge some years ago after setting it down on tissue. Why is you, (me anyway), supposedly regress in old age, but you don't grow new teeth? Just asking.
Y'see, seniors regress to when they were newborns. Newborns don't have teeth. When newborns progress, they develop teeth. Seniors don't regress and then turn around and progress thereafter. Thus, no teeth for us. 
I don't know about the Euro = $ conversion.
Life and moving
