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Old 04-15-2013, 02:56 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,886,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charles View Post
Your family
Neighbors
Friends
You pay people
The government steps in and pays people
You do things slowly, possibly repeating
You are older and you've learned how to do things efficiently
You are less demanding and therefore don't "do" as many things

I write from experience. My 91 year old dad is in a board and care and my 90 year old mom lives alone and doesn't drive. She uses a cheap senior dial a ride thing call Access in Los Angeles County and Calabasas Dial a Ride. I do their taxes. Neighbors help her shopping. SHe has a gardner and a cleaning lady. She has a handy man.
The above is what I was questioning.

What government "steps in and pays people?"

When I asked about this, I was told that nursing homes take care of these issues . . .

Now another poster has suggested that the government steps in and takes care of such things. I have never heard of this. Can someone provide more information and/or links?

Thank you
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:30 PM
 
Location: NC
1,873 posts, read 2,391,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
The above is what I was questioning.

What government "steps in and pays people?"

When I asked about this, I was told that nursing homes take care of these issues . . .

Now another poster has suggested that the government steps in and takes care of such things. I have never heard of this. Can someone provide more information and/or links?

Thank you
And he/she answered you in post #4...
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Cody, WY
10,420 posts, read 14,534,665 times
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It depends upon the individual situation.

My grandmothers were both dependent upon family. They were born too long ago for Social Security and the family took responsibility. My paternal grandmother had no income at all; my maternal grandmother did have some investments which the family managed. They died at 95 and 97 respectively. They completely accepted having someone else manage their entire lives.

My grandmothers always seemed old and I remember them when they were in their early seventies, scarcely older than I am now. They certainly seemed dowdy and half senile or worse.

My eldest aunt died at the age of 97. But she handled her taxes, investments, and her household by herself. She worked until she was 86 only retiring because the company where she had worked for more than fifty years closed when she was 84. She did get another job in a whole new field, private investigations. She ran the office but helped him on some employee theft work. Who suspects an old lady? She actually did get a P.I. license. But sadly her employer who was in his seventies dropped dead two years later and no one else would hire her.

She always remained active. When she died she was sitting in her favorite restaurant drinking a scotch and smoking a cigarette. When the waitress returned with her 1/2 club sandwich she was still sitting upright but had died of heart failure.

She had a maid but she'd always had one. She still drove but not much. After her first employer closed my late wife and I convinced her to move to Colorado but only because we'd heard about an old man with a detective agency who would hire her.

She was still making trips to NYC when she was in her late eighties to buy clothes. The last two years she worked she did take my wife with her but she planned the trip. She never stopped being an elegant woman.

She and her mother both died at 97. But what a difference. I hope I can take the path of my aunt.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:40 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,886,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
It depends upon the individual situation.

My grandmothers were both dependent upon family. They were born too long ago for Social Security and the family took responsibility. My paternal grandmother had no income at all; my maternal grandmother did have some investments which the family managed. They died at 95 and 97 respectively. They completely accepted having someone else manage their entire lives.

My grandmothers always seemed old and I remember them when they were in their early seventies, scarcely older than I am now. They certainly seemed dowdy and half senile or worse.

My eldest aunt died at the age of 97. But she handled her taxes, investments, and her household by herself. She worked until she was 86 only retiring because the company where she had worked for more than fifty years closed when she was 84. She did get another job in a whole new field, private investigations. She ran the office but helped him on some employee theft work. Who suspects an old lady? She actually did get a P.I. license. But sadly her employer who was in his seventies dropped dead two years later and no one else would hire her.

She always remained active. When she died she was sitting in her favorite restaurant drinking a scotch and smoking a cigarette. When the waitress returned with her 1/2 club sandwich she was still sitting upright but had died of heart failure.

She had a maid but she'd always had one. She still drove but not much. After her first employer closed my late wife and I convinced her to move to Colorado but only because we'd heard about an old man with a detective agency who would hire her.

She was still making trips to NYC when she was in her late eighties to buy clothes. The last two years she worked she did take my wife with her but she planned the trip. She never stopped being an elegant woman.

She and her mother both died at 97. But what a difference. I hope I can take the path of my aunt.
That's an amazing story!
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Wherever I happen to be at the moment
1,228 posts, read 1,364,513 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
I have a personal belief that, in general, people are living too long as a result of artificial medical means, so the social and practical implications of aging go through my mind from time to time. I also do not look at death as a bad thing, so that contributes to my perplexity about some of these questions and the logistics of it all.
Please define "too long." Then please tell us at what age you intend to expire so you don't make that mistake.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:52 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,886,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghostly1 View Post
Please define "too long." Then please tell us at what age you intend to expire so you don 't make that mistake.
Your tone is snide and dismissive. I do not wish to argue with anyone.

I will say that I am getting psychologically prepared for death . . .I do not personally wish to live to be extremely old. It's a preference and I don't know what will happen or if I might change my mind but I personally do not wish to linger in illness for any significant period of time. I would like to live as long as I am functional - beyond that, I don't believe there is a point - for me.

I do respect that other people have other preferences and I respect those who choose to stay alive because they are enjoying their lives or are somehow benefitting (perhaps spiritually) . . .but those who are warehoused, are not particularly conscious and have little quality of life and are being kept alive artificially (through extraordinary medical means) . . . I question that . . .I tend to think it can be a combination of fear in the collective consciousness (or unconsciousness) about death, combined with monetary incentives of the medical and nursing home professions and all of the subsidiary businesses who are making big money off of super old "customers."
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:21 PM
 
2,634 posts, read 3,679,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
As I was folding laundry this morning, I got to thinking about super old people and I wondered how they manage to do all of the things that are required of daily living. I thought about taxes and what a long process that was to gather info and recap it all for the accountant and how a super old person would be capable of doing this. I wondered if people in rest homes still do their taxes. If they have income (even just SS), they have to do taxes, correct? How do they manage it?

There are so many daily tasks to attend to - paying bills, paying fees, shopping, banking, tax prep, filing, solving all kinds of daily problems as they arise (calling people, coordinating, troubleshooting, etc.) . . . I just don't see how a super old person can do any of this - not just that it is physically and mentally taxing, but it takes time and organization. If you have cognitive issues, I have no idea how you manage - day-to-day.

Does a person have business concerns in assisted living or in a rest home? Do they do banking, taxes, etc.?

What do you think about this?

I have a personal belief that, in general, people are living too long as a result of artificial medical means, so the social and practical implications of aging go through my mind from time to time. I also do not look at death as a bad thing, so that contributes to my perplexity about some of these questions and the logistics of it all.


I agree with you -- only I think people are living too long as a result of medical advancements.

My mother had a pacemaker put in at the age of 91. That was ridiculous. Now she is 94 and has dementia. And her doctor is a little bit richer. And Medicare is a little bit poorer.

I think we need to stop keeping people alive at all cost. For instance - and I know I'll get in trouble for this -- anyone 75 and older, with a disease like cancer, should only be treated for pain. My doctor already understands that if I get any cancer, pain control is all I want.

Maybe at 65, we should all get a medical allowance of $1 million, and when it's gone, we are gone.

Maybe all people who have advanced dementia should be lovingly put to sleep. I'll be the first name on the list. I mean, come on, who wants to stay alive with advanced dementia?

Maybe anyone 75 years of age and older should be allowed assisted suicide, even if it's just because they have had it.
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:26 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,284 posts, read 12,886,098 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66 View Post
I agree with you -- only I think people are living too long as a result of medical advancements.

My mother had a pacemaker put in at the age of 91. That was ridiculous. Now she is 94 and has dementia. And her doctor is a little bit richer. And Medicare is a little bit poorer.

I think we need to stop keeping people alive at all cost. For instance - and I know I'll get in trouble for this -- anyone 75 and older, with a disease like cancer, should only be treated for pain. My doctor already understands that if I get any cancer, pain control is all I want.

Maybe at 65, we should all get a medical allowance of $1 million, and when it's gone, we are gone.

Maybe all people who have advanced dementia should be lovingly put to sleep. I'll be the first name on the list. I mean, come on, who wants to stay alive with advanced dementia?

Maybe anyone 75 years of age and older should be allowed assisted suicide, even if it's just because they have had it.
I share your sentiments on the subject . . .crazy that they did that surgery to your mother at age 91 . . .how could they justify that, I wonder? Did she want it? I thought there was a high statistical incidence of negative results of anesthesia at advanced ages. I really didn't know they pushed surgeries at that age. Shocking!
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:30 PM
 
2,634 posts, read 3,679,582 times
Reputation: 5633
As for the logistics of everyday living -- I live with elderly people. The personal hygiene of a couple of them leaves A LOT to be desired. A lot of apartments are dirty. A lot of them are still driving when they absolutely should not have a license. One man died in his apartment and wasn't found for two days. One woman get disoriented and wound up stuck in her chair for three days -- until her adult children found her. One woman fell asleep with a lit cig and set the building on fire. This apt complex used to be a 55+ only. Then it was opened to every age. But the old timers stayed on. A lot of them belong in assisted living but they either don't have the money or their adult children won't ante up the money for assisted living. /// This is an upscale apartment complex in a great part of town. So all I'm saying is this is not the slums. These people have money -- and no one is taking care of them (except for paying their bills, obviously).
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Old 04-15-2013, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Wherever I happen to be at the moment
1,228 posts, read 1,364,513 times
Reputation: 1836
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Your tone is snide and dismissive. I do not wish to argue with anyone.

I will say that I am getting psychologically prepared for death . . .I do not personally wish to live to be extremely old. It's a preference and I don't know what will happen or if I might change my mind but I personally do not wish to linger in illness for any significant period of time. I would like to live as long as I am functional - beyond that, I don't believe there is a point - for me.

I do respect that other people have other preferences and I respect those who choose to stay alive because they are enjoying their lives or are somehow benefitting (perhaps spiritually) . . .but those who are warehoused, are not particularly conscious and have little quality of life and are being kept alive artificially (through extraordinary medical means) . . . I question that . . .I tend to think it can be a combination of fear in the collective consciousness (or unconsciousness) about death, combined with monetary incentives of the medical and nursing home professions and all of the subsidiary businesses who are making big money off of super old "customers."
Actually, I was being neither snide nor dismissive. I was curious as to how one puts a definitive limit on their life and other's and what that limit would be. Sorry my query made you defensive.

It might surprise you to know that I quite agree with functionality being the primary factor to consider.

My former wife's grandmother live to be over 100, still in her own home and with some assistance but maintained all her faculties and relative good health until the end. Best of all, she enjoyed every day she had.
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