Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Like Fran66, and jghorton posted, moving, after retirement, and trying to get re-established with strangers in a strange place is difficult to say the least. We have started over twice, in two different states since I retired in '06, and it has definitely been an emotional struggle for my wife and I. We left a town that we had lived in for almost 30 years with friends and family, to live closer to my daughter whom we thought wanted us there. But after events proved otherwise, we decided to move, again. We felt that since we had already been through the event of separation from our family, and friends back home, we should strike out for parts unknown. We did, and are really enjoying where we are at. The weather, and people's attitude are very similar to what we left back home, so it has made the transition much easier. We are doing what we want to in our retirement, here, and basically, isn't that what it's all about? All of us that have punched a clock, or been subject to deadlines, or had a boss that was one step above pond scum should understand what I am talking of. Aren't most retirees simply looking for a chance to enjoy life in one form or another, without any constraints? Being able to set their own schedules, and make their own rules. We breathed a big sigh of relief when we were able to wake up, and eat breakfast whenever we wanted. Not having to grab coffee, and run out the door, and race to the job. My wife loves to do puzzles, and read, and watch the birds at the feeders, while I spend my days gardening, and doing things around the house. All the small, insignificant things that were, at one time, hurriedly accomplished on the weekends when I wasn't working, have now taken more prominence in our lives. And in immersing ourselves in these tasks, we take a greater appreciation of not just those simple events, but other aspects of our lives that, when we work working, we hurried by, not having the time to fully appreciate them. I have said this in another post, but I will say it here, again. Retirement is what a person makes it. Quiet possibly, a lifestyle adjustment, either geographically, financially, or emotionally makes retirement better, or worse for the retiree, but, bottom line is, you have an opportunity. Seize it, and appreciate it. There are many, in these troubled times that may never see that chance in their life.
Move with me now in these occasions of last things,
Of shivering vulnerabilities and letting go:
Letting go of parents gone,
friends going,
old self growing;
Letting go of children grown,
needs outgrown,
prejudices ingrown,
illusions overgrown.
Letting go of swollen grudges and shrunken loves.
Be with me in my end of things,
my letting go of dead things,
dead ways,
dead words,
dead self I hold so tightly,
defend so blindly,
fear losing so frantically.
I teeter on the brink of endings:
some anticipated,
some resisted,
some inevitable,
some surprising,
most painful.
And the mystery of them quiets me to awe.
In silence, Lord,
I feel now the curious blend of grief and gladness in me
over the endings that the ticking and whirling of things bring;
And I listen for Your leading
to help me faithfully move on through the fear
of my time to let go
so the timeless may take hold of me.
Guerrillas of Grace, by Ted Loder
We Americans are the only people in the world who don't allow old age to be a time for us older ones. We think we have to keep going and going and doing and doing, and not only do we think that way, society will not allow us to be any other way. As tho' if we don't die on our feet, doing something productive, we've failed in some way.
This is your time. Enjoy it. Listen to God more than preach. Write your book (about The Beatitudes, and gear it to those of us who are over 65).
This is a different time of your life. You're in a different place, in more ways than one. So much is new! There is so much to discover! Our waning energy is a blessing (in disguise).
I never see this mentioned anywhere but was anyone competitive in their job? You know, you consciously strived to do something better than co-workers or there was some type of company award you wanted to win? Your work group tried to beat the work group next to you? Maybe you played on some company team or your office/shop/store was business-related competitive with another location? Now, maybe you miss that?
If that's you, have you found another outlet for it in retirement? I'm guessing that's why golf and even card playing are popular retirement activities. People like to win or they just like the excitement of being part of a competition. I like photography but I joined a camera club because I like the competitions. I'm wondering if some people's job satisfaction was tied to competitiveness and they haven't found an activity that gives it to them in retirement, yet.
Thanks -- A big obstacle in 'a relocated retirement' seems to be that one no longer has a base of contacts and friendships built over many years; the established 'connection points' (career, organizations, kids, etc) from which to build new friendships; and the same energy and motivation one once had to engage folks beyond a superficial level. Similarly, folks at our age in the new location already have long-term circles of friends and connection points --and, they also lack the energy and motivation they once had to engage new folks beyond a superficial level. -- I'm still a type A, but, one loses sight of how much one depends on others.
You have a very good point here, the value of established connection points.
I never see this mentioned anywhere but was anyone competitive in their job? You know, you consciously strived to do something better than co-workers or there was some type of company award you wanted to win? Your work group tried to beat the work group next to you? Maybe you played on some company team or your office/shop/store was business-related competitive with another location? Now, maybe you miss that?
If that's you, have you found another outlet for it in retirement? I'm guessing that's why golf and even card playing are popular retirement activities. People like to win or they just like the excitement of being part of a competition. I like photography but I joined a camera club because I like the competitions. I'm wondering if some people's job satisfaction was tied to competitiveness and they haven't found an activity that gives it to them in retirement, yet.
You're right. I haven't seen this. And this is interesting. Let me say this:
I worked in courtrooms for 27 years. I saw enough competitiveness -- certainly a form of it -- to last me a lifetime. (However, that doesn't mean I don't like sports -- love football games -- to watch, not participate in. )
What I miss about working is my 'work family' -- many of whom were the same people over those 27 years. (I watched my coworkers get married, have children and then I went to the children's weddings!) And I miss being productive in a way that my society recognizes -- and I miss being paid for being productive. Not all the time -- and less and less as time goes by.
With that said -- I think retirement is different for introverts and extroverts (and obviously OP is an extrovert). I'm an introvert. I've been retired for 7 years. I became very physically ill 3 years ago, so much so that I could barely do the basics -- housework, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping. And for the first two months I really angry and scared. I didn't have any close friends. I didn't even have a TV (by choice)! Then I just accepted the way things were and 'settled in'. I did get Neflix; and I taught myself how to knit. I read (and re-read) all the books I'd ever wanted to read in my life (and is still going on). I started to 'write' a little (and that is still going on). I live with a lot of elderly people so I help them out in ways that I can. And I find that I love silence and solitude! Now that I am a little better, I also exercise 6 days a week, and I do have one close friend now, but for the most part, I like being alone and not caught up in the insanity of our society any longer. Selfish? Maybe. I don't think so -- I worked and volunteered (and raised a family) over 45 years. But then I don't care what anyone else thinks either. Oh, I LOVE getting older. LOLOLOL
We Americans are the only people in the world who don't allow old age to be a time for us older ones. We think we have to keep going and going and doing and doing, and not only do we think that way, society will not allow us to be any other way. As tho' if we don't die on our feet, doing something productive, we've failed in some way.
It's a real shame, isn't it. The European and Asian cultures, likely more, seem to have it right. The elderly are well regarded. Old women get together and reminisce. Old men sit outdoors sipping wine, playing chess or other games, speaking little yet absorbing much. They simply enjoy one another and their leisure and strive for nothing more. Why should they? They've earned their complacency, their contentment and their rest.
When I was planning for retirement, other than moving someplace we really wanted to be, retirement was the plan. There was no other. Now, five years later there still is no other plan. We live for the day and take those one at a time. Spontaneity is the ruling factor after a lifetime of striving, working and being ruled by the clock and our incomes. I sometimes cringe at what I read here - retirees who seem to spend every waking moment agonizing over and worrying their finances to death, planning how to spend productive and busy time convinced that unless they go and do they're missing something huge in their lives - pre-retirees afraid of what's to come, where to live, making new friends, how to fill every moment of every day, wondering if they should work part time overly concerned about grown children and their reactions. It's a mess.
My wife, in addition to retiring from our former state, is also a retired midwife who did hundreds of home births. Along with the medical aspects of post-partum visits, most lay midwives also provide guidance to the mothers, especially first-timers, to help them relax, truly enjoy their infants and see not only to the baby's needs and comfort but their own as well. One piece of advice actually came from the La Leche League and is very sound, not just for new mothers but for retirees as well. It simply states, "Don't be a human doing, just be a human being!" In our "leisure" years, it's a very good road map.
Retirement : best years of your life.
You should be happy and content.
I am not 100% happy.
Location, state of mind, financial is everything !!
Well, we're happy and content. We own our home. It's located precisely where we wanted to be. We wouldn't have retired if finances were a problem. We're not well to do but we're comfortable and our incomes and benefits are stable. What's not to like and be happy about?
Curmudgeon:
You are woman, dual income with husband.
Your husband paid a price for you.
Some of us are single retirees.
Be grateful your other half was there for you in lean times.
Single retirees have it harder.
It's easy to lie online, easy to say anything.
No one really knows who is who, what is true.
Read with caution ...... !!
Curmudgeon:
You are woman, dual income with husband.
Your husband paid a price for you.
Some of us are single retirees.
Be grateful your other half was there for you in lean times.
Single retirees have it harder.
It's easy to lie online, easy to say anything.
No one really knows who is who, what is true.
Read with caution ...... !!
If your finances were not in order then why did you retire ?
Why would you retire knowing you would have to struggle ?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
-- love football games -- to watch, not participate in. 
) 
