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If estrangement comes about because of a difference of opinion, it's just the excuse. Every situation is different but mention politics and people take sides. I have seen abusive parents where the children did not abandon them, yet I've seen loving parents lose their children to estrangement. It's not because of who they voted for.
I agree that political difference as a reason for estrangement is only an excuse for deeper problems. But who you vote for in today's polarized world does indicate your values and the kind of parent one may be.
I agree that political difference as a reason for estrangement is only an excuse for deeper problems. But who you vote for in today's polarized world does indicate your values and the kind of parent one may be.
I don't agree: my views are decidedly liberal but I have friends who are conservative who are wonderful parents. I also know both liberals and conservatives who are less than ideal parents.
Your comment in a way reflects the extent of polarization we have in this country today. I have not known a time in the past several decades when there appears to be a litmus test of sorts on both sides that decides whether one is a "true" liberal or conservative. For example, if someone who is liberal takes a position that he/she is pro-life it is a betrayal of liberal values and if someone who is conservative on most issues but is pro-choice, then other conservatives feel that does not comport to conservatism.
This sort of polarization then seeps into interaction with other people - including adult children - who may hold views that are different than one's own.
I don't think the post is unkind. I was actually thinking something very similar when reading through this. What does it mean to say you did the best you could or the best you knew how? I'm suspicious of that and hear it as an excuse from my own mother.
When you're screaming at your kids because you're tired or stressed (and your parents did that to you), is that ok because it's the best you could do or knew how? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Parents treat their kids like crap because they got treated like crap and think if they didn't abandon their parents, well, they should be able to get away with it too. Times have changed and Americans are much more mobile than we ever were, often moving hundreds or thousands of miles away from our families when we grow up. That's kind of a new thing. My mother grew up in a generation where you pretty much stayed in the same town with your parents and took care of them no matter what. That time is past. You know when you're being abusive to your kids...you don't need someone to teach you that.
Yep, there are times with my kids when it would be easier to yell or be rude because I'm tired or stressed but I know that is WRONG. My mom knew it was wrong too, but it felt good to unleash on someone and she thought she could get away with it.
I drove an Escape once, that I loved by the way, and so everything at that point in my life started with escape.. and people would say I was trying to escape life, etc.. hahaha Noooo it was just a name..
I like you oldwoman.. you are A OK with me
Well thank you very much MaryBeth2. My husband has always reassured me that there are people out there who would like me if I gave them the chance, but they 'don't fall out of the woodwork'.
Well thank you very much MaryBeth2. My husband has always reassured me that there are people out there who would like me if I gave them the chance, but they 'don't fall out of the woodwork'.
Ah, understood. Sometimes it is a way of protecting ourselves from getting hurt further!
I agree that political difference as a reason for estrangement is only an excuse for deeper problems. But who you vote for in today's polarized world does indicate your values and the kind of parent one may be.
I don't agree: my views are decidedly liberal but I have friends who are conservative who are wonderful parents. I also know both liberals and conservatives who are less than ideal parents.
Your comment in a way reflects the extent of polarization we have in this country today. I have not known a time in the past several decades when there appears to be a litmus test of sorts on both sides that decides whether one is a "true" liberal or conservative. For example, if someone who is liberal takes a position that he/she is pro-life it is a betrayal of liberal values and if someone who is conservative on most issues but is pro-choice, then other conservatives feel that does not comport to conservatism.
This sort of polarization then seeps into interaction with other people - including adult children - who may hold views that are different than one's own.
It is quite possible that parents and their adult children are all happy as Trump supporters
And Trump supporters are as good parents as any. But if there is a conflict with children due to politics it will be less in a household with parents who hold liberal views.
I don't agree: my views are decidedly liberal but I have friends who are conservative who are wonderful parents. I also know both liberals and conservatives who are less than ideal parents.
Your comment in a way reflects the extent of polarization we have in this country today. I have not known a time in the past several decades when there appears to be a litmus test of sorts on both sides that decides whether one is a "true" liberal or conservative. For example, if someone who is liberal takes a position that he/she is pro-life it is a betrayal of liberal values and if someone who is conservative on most issues but is pro-choice, then other conservatives feel that does not comport to conservatism.
This sort of polarization then seeps into interaction with other people - including adult children - who may hold views that are different than one's own.
My kid's voted the opposite of my husband and I. Who to say whose values are better? No one knows. Maybe they are too dumb to see people for what they are.
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
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SMH
And now it turns political. Sad.
Who gives a flying <censored> who voted for whom? Doesn't justify cutting off relationships.
In four years, maybe even eight, the presidency will change. This is only temporary as always. Cutting off someone that you have known and loved over such a relatively minor bump in the road....
Throwing away, in some cases, a lifetime over something that is going to change in a few years. I just cannot imagine.
Who gives a flying <censored> who voted for whom? Doesn't justify cutting off relationships.
In four years, maybe even eight, the presidency will change. This is only temporary as always. Cutting off someone that you have known and loved over such a relatively minor bump in the road....
Throwing away, in some cases, a lifetime over something that is going to change in a few years. I just cannot imagine.
It's an excuse, like mine cut me off because I would not let them shack up in my house. I was ok with everything but that... it was the excuse they were looking for, in my opinion. Kids and parents have came at odds over all kinds of things, down thru all the ages, but not all kids do this. This is a whole different monster, but it's not political.
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