Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 02-24-2015, 11:47 PM
 
11,181 posts, read 10,505,530 times
Reputation: 18618

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
I just want to mention that your grandparents might have had a happier marriage than you thought, especially if you weren't with them all the time.
The idea of a teenager attempting to advise his/her grandparents on their marriage is so ludicrous, it's hard to know how to respond to that post.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-25-2015, 06:28 AM
 
1,782 posts, read 2,738,283 times
Reputation: 5975
Quote:
Originally Posted by ipoetry View Post
No one's love can drive a person to suicide. What a contrived excuse for walking away. Suicide is an attention-getting coward's message, it says 'I'll Show You' but hey! You lived but found another way to hurt your parents. Good for you!
How old are you? If you're more than 25, you need to have a little more compassion. If you're under 25, I can almost forgive your foolish comment and put it under the heading of naivete or immaturity.

It's just swell that you've never had to deal with suicide on any front of your life, but you should have enough compassion in your soul to know that it's a glimpse of hell on earth to lose someone to suicide.

Some of us know a lot more about suicide than others, and these throw-away comments are better kept to yourself.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2015, 08:52 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,398,089 times
Reputation: 29336
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
How old are you? If you're more than 25, you need to have a little more compassion. If you're under 25, I can almost forgive your foolish comment and put it under the heading of naivete or immaturity.

It's just swell that you've never had to deal with suicide on any front of your life, but you should have enough compassion in your soul to know that it's a glimpse of hell on earth to lose someone to suicide.

Some of us know a lot more about suicide than others, and these throw-away comments are better kept to yourself.
I quite agree. About a year before I retired, a wok friend committed suicide. She left a message with one of her closest friends at work asking her to notify a very few of us after the fact, me being one of them. I knew she was going through hard times and had done my best to prop her up emotionally. It didn't work and I was extremely saddened by her final act of desperation. While I consider most suicides to be a selfish act, condemnation serves nothing and no one. Compassion is decidedly in order.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2015, 11:17 AM
 
2,016 posts, read 3,178,041 times
Reputation: 4092
Ditto. In college, I had a friend I grew up with in childhood. He came from a very strict and high-achieving family. While everything looked perfect from the outside there was turmoil within. He withdrew into himself, severely depressed. While an excellent studient with good grades, just before graduation he committed suicide ... a shot to his head one evening alone in his apartment. You never really knows what goes on within families/relationships.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2015, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,939,523 times
Reputation: 15773
Quote:
Originally Posted by darstar View Post
Not always so, it can be a call for help. That's the problem , no one cares, people feel lost, and just give up. It does not have to be, if more people cared and there was someplace they can go for help
Absolutely true. There are lots easier and less painful ways of "getting attention" that are not irreversible. You have to be in an AWFUL lot of pain to take your own life; it's probably rarely an "I'll get even" thing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2015, 02:34 PM
 
4,423 posts, read 7,350,321 times
Reputation: 10935
This is not a suicide thread it's a thread about estranged parents, and as demonstrated, suicide grabs the spotlight.

If you want to talk about suicide and not estrangement then start another thread.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-25-2015, 04:26 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 21,939,523 times
Reputation: 15773
Quote:
Originally Posted by ipoetry View Post
This is not a suicide thread it's a thread about estranged parents, and as demonstrated, suicide grabs the spotlight.

If you want to talk about suicide and not estrangement then start another thread.
Suicide was brought up in connection with the intense pain of losing the love and attention of loved ones (on this thread, adult children), which I would suspect is a common cause of that tragedy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2015, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Baltimore, MD
5,307 posts, read 5,986,032 times
Reputation: 10856
Quote:
Originally Posted by ipoetry View Post
This is not a suicide thread it's a thread about estranged parents, and as demonstrated, suicide grabs the spotlight.

If you want to talk about suicide and not estrangement then start another thread.
Too late for that! To wit:

"Suicide is an attention-getting coward's message, it says 'I'll Show You' but hey! You lived but found another way to hurt your parents. Good for you!"

It sounds terribly convenient and narcissistic to assume that someone, especially someone you allegedly love "unconditionally", attempted suicide to hurt you. WTF?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-26-2015, 09:45 AM
 
Location: State of Superior
8,733 posts, read 15,907,904 times
Reputation: 2869
I still say a lot of estrangements are related to the miles of separation, early on I am sure it's a major factor....but as time goes by, as I recall my mother and her sister's estrangement, the further away the better ! It's a side bar thought but I wonder if there could be a connection between higher rates of people taking their own lives and separation. ( by miles ) . One thing for sure , certain parts of the Country have more cases.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-03-2015, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Kensington, MD
9 posts, read 14,192 times
Reputation: 31
This is a club I wish no one had to belong too.

My sweet and loving husband is estranged from his son. About 7 years ago, T and his first wife were getting divorced. Their one and only child was in college. T was a dedicated father. He made sure to spend time with his son every evening after work playing and teaching his son. He did homework and went on all the field trips his son had at school. T never thought he would ever get a divorce, but after years of doing everything for his ex and not getting anything in return, T ended it. Let me say the ex never had to work, never had to fill up her gas tank, never had to do the grocery shopping, and chose to never spend time with T. The ex would talk bad about T in front of the child and so the child even started talking bad about his Dad. All T was, was a paycheck.

When T left the son cut off communication. T tired to explain to his son that the divorce was between he and the ex and not the son. T is a wonderful father, well as best as he can be through this estrangement. T will never shut the door to his and his sons relationship. He emails him ever couple of weeks and gives him updates on him and tells the son he loves him and reminds the son that whenever he is ready to talk again he is here. It get's hard to keep sending emails and never getting a response. We don't even know if he is reading them.

I tell my husband that he loves his son just as God loves us. When we stray and think we don't need a close relationship with God he doesn't cut us off. He says "I am here my child, just let me know when you are ready". That is what T is doing with his son and I'm so proud of my husband for being the man he is.

It's been about 7 years now and we don't know if or when this will turn around. We pray and pray and hope that someday our prayer will come true.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Retirement

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:11 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top