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I didn't realize the effects of aging on stamina.
I didn't realize that I might not realize some dreams.
I didn't realize my physical and emotional limitations.
I didn't realize that my body needs TLC.
In the natural course of events: A person is born, lives, grows old and dies. I don't think our culture educates us on how to take good care of ourselves, the effects of stress on our bodies and so many other things.
I have learned that I am not omnipotent, that I have limitations, that I need to take good care of myself (no one else is going to do it). I have seen the effects of being depleted. With good luck, IF I change my habits, I might avoid illness caused by ignoring the signals of my body for rest and relaxation . . .
I think daily habits are an essential key . . . I feel overwhelmed by "too much to do" and am going to try to figure out how to build in more of what I do want in my life and reduce what I don't want.
No doubt, but I prefer to spend the money I can spare for bodywork right now.
I wish I could hire someone to assist me in figuring out how to manage all of my responsibilities and sort of help me with daily planning and organization, but I am lacking extra funds at the moment.
So, actually, you are just wanting a place to complain, a place to essentially repeat help rejecting "woe is me" to about 90% of what has been written in response to your OP. Many people take such replies as yours in a sincere way and feel the need to help and assist to finding a solution. Not realizing that in actuality there isn't any solution for disorders of a personality such as your own. It is as if you are saying...."Help me, help me help me...go away go away go away...." (and repeat) along with a perfunctory..." thanks for all the replies, but...".
So, actually, you are just wanting a place to complain, a place to essentially repeat help rejecting "woe is me" to about 90% of what has been written in response to your OP. Many people take such replies as yours in a sincere way and feel the need to help and assist to finding a solution. Not realizing that in actuality there isn't any solution for disorders of a personality such as your own. It is as if you are saying...."Help me, help me help me...go away go away go away...." (and repeat) along with a perfunctory..." thanks for all the replies, but...".
Rude and unhelpful. I thanked the MANY people who have helped me. I appreciate all of their input.
I don't understand why people who have nothing positive to add would even bother to comment in this thread.
It is really not ok to attempt to pathologize people with your armchair analysis of what you THINK is wrong with me.
People like you don't get vulnerable themselves or talk about their own struggles - it's much easier to attack others.
Well, it is not my intention to incite you but it really was the response I suspected I would get. I don't feel I was attacking you but just making an observation. I believe that is part of what happens here. I have a feeling your vulnerability or shall we say your falling "victim" to your woes, and of course, this is just my observation after reading the myriad of posts from you, that to a certain extent that works for you in life. Sometimes, and we all have ability for this yet some would rather not draw on it, we need to be fed/filled up/satiated by others because our own ability to feed ourselves is not/does not work.
Please note that I did mention your thanking MANY people. Unfortunately, what came with that was help rejecting statements.
Just take it all with a grain or two of salt. Merely, observations.
Rude and unhelpful. I thanked the MANY people who have helped me. I appreciate all of their input.
I don't understand why people who have nothing positive to add would even bother to comment in this thread.
It is really not ok to attempt to pathologize people with your armchair analysis of what you THINK is wrong with me.
People like you don't get vulnerable themselves or talk about their own struggles - it's much easier to attack others.
People respond to you and try to help. I hate to say it but if it's not what you want to hear you label them pejoratively. This has been a common theme in your threads. If you really seek solace, assistance, support, etc., being so dismissive does nothing but work against you. If, on the other hand, your purpose is to simply complain about the life you've carved out and created for yourself then just say so and be honest about it. I'm sure there are those who will commiserate with you and be supportive. People on the forum, can be wonderfully sympathetic.
I, for one, feel quite sorry for you. My "armchair analysis" is that you're quite lonely and conflicted and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, especially not at this time in our lives. I really hope you permit yourself to find some peace.
Please stop biting the hands that are trying to feed you. It's really not helpful. In the end, the problem you originally posted about may have nothing at all to do with age. It might have to do with you.
When I was younger, I viewed any hardships as temporary - and because I was younger, I was able to shrug things off . . .
Fast forward to now (and I mean that literally) . . .
I had an expectation that "things would turn out ok," and I feel so frustrated that they didn't . . . and because I am older, I don't have the hope and resilience of youth.
I realize that it is my ego that gets all pissy, but I don't know what to do about it. I feel like I am having tantrums that things did not go my way and that I am not getting to do what I want.
I am tied down due to responsibilities but these are responsibilities I have chosen to take on - I just didn't understand when I was taking them on, what the cost would be to me - but if I had known, I probably would have done the same thing.
I am resentful that I am not getting to do what I want - and I know I have unconscious beliefs that "in retirement" you "should" get to do what you want - therefore, when I am facing unpleasant circumstances I get all bent out of shape (internally).
I don't know what to do about this short of hypnosis.
I think part of me is angry at God because I feel that I am "special" and should not have to suffer "at my age" (which I understand is just ridiculous, but these feelings are irrational - they just "are").
I am extremely exhausted and burnt out . . .
Today I traced my bad mood back to the fact that I had to do too much work . . . it feels like the work is "never-ending."
Can anyone relate?
Or are you all living perfectly blissful retirements?
My heavens no, we are not living the perfect retirement. the aches and pains are more than we bargained for the lack of funds sometimes fall short.
We spend more time doing volunteer work than we thought we would and the word "No" seems to be too hard to say. Even when we left NM (where we were involved in everything) we thought this time around we would just do our own thing. We still say Yes way too much.
The body doesn't keep up the way it did, even 5 years ago and we find ourselves thinking of bedtime earlier all the time. It is rare we are up after about 9 or 9:30pm. Of course I get up before it is light, most mornings and hubby not long after. He does last a little longer at night than I do. When my legs get tired and sore from working too long around the house or in the yard (and too long can mean a few hours) they don't recoup in a day, more like 2 or 3. As has been said over and over: aging isn't for sissies, but I am not ready to check out just yet.
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