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"How many of you wished you had followed your heart into a career or something else? Did you end up doing what your family wanted you to do?" A combination of both. I've always been an extreme "parent pleaser" (not said disrespectfully they are great) but it has been at the expense of myself as am now looking back wishing I'd been more focused on taking my own path of dreams. I have ALWAYS wanted to live in the city but ended up getting a place in the suburbs (I ABSOLUTELY HATE the suburbs) because it's where they wanted me to live etc. As for the career I loved what I do but now I am really ready for a change. Unfort it's not the type of career you can easily switch. I do adore my dog and this is the only nonparent pleasing decision I've probably ever (I know hummm pathetic- I just always put my respect for them above myself but I'm working on evening that out) made as she is a huge dog and they completely wanted me to get a small one. She is the perfect dog for me. Rescuing her is literally the only thing I would do the same if I had to relive my life so that tells ya something about the importance of having the courage to follow your own path in life.
Follow your heart? This is mostly about jobs. That says something about America. Sad.
I see a lot of European o the streets now not just sad but actually angry about their work part of life. So perhaps your not typical if you do not give it consideration when its a large aprt of your life.
Well, our daughter, I would say, is beginning to follow her heart. She still lives in NYC, single, and is still employed same job (main job) but since the market is doing better, the firm is doing better and she even got a bonus last year.
She does the CrossFit part time, not full time. Still loves it but it's not #1 anymore.
However, she began to play golf again. She bought a car last year and goes on weekends (weather permitting) and plays golf Saturday and Sunday. She says she's got a plan. She seems happier so if she's happier, I'm good with that.
As she gets older and her friends start their lives, I think she thinks about where she is also. However, she's quite the motivator and has motivated us to start doing some things as well.
She has flown back home several times this year (to play golf) and that's been something we've enjoyed - seeing her more is a plus.
Q:"How many of you wished you had followed your heart into a career or something else? Did you end up doing what your family wanted you to do?"
A: I can't say I wish i'd 'followed my heart" really, BUT I DO sometimes wonder what would have happened or how life might have been different if I'd made "Other choices" long the way. Examples:
-- I was studying in Europe, met a guy on a ferry. He asked for a kiss. I didn't give it. What might have changed if I had....
-- I wanted to say in Europe, but didn't have confidence that I wouldn't end up struggling....so thought it "practical" to just come back home and get started on a "real job" or career. What IF I'd had the confidence to stay in Europe...at least another year?
-- I wanted to be an actress. But was always to afraid I'd never "make it." I wanted to be rich and famous. I knew I did NOT want to just end up doing summer stock the rest of my life, and always scraping by to pay bills. I knew I preferred the security of a "steady" paycheck. So I went into a related field where fame and money were still a possibility, but I was never a harding working out for me, kind of hustler -- always promoting myself. I thought good work will get you discovered, and someone will want to promote you and be your agent. What might have happened had I had the courage? to go for my dreams?
-- Now at 54, and making good money but not the money I'd dreamed of -- looking back -- I also know there were other things I COULD have done for a career that might have earned me more money than I make now. But I didn't know any one in those fields, and didn't know about them. Looking back, now I see I WOULD have liked being an architect (which I thought about majoring in, but let the math part of it scare me)...I COULD have enjoyed being an interior decorator or being in real estate development some how. OR.....I could have owned my own business (although I never really ever wanted to). Now I see the pluses of entrepreneurship, as a way to possible wealth.
-- Now at 54, I also see I could have gotten a nice, sweet, secure government gig -- at 23 right out of grad school....and I could be retired by now. Put in my 30 years and get out. I didn't know I could do what I'm doing now -- in a government position. Believe it or not, I didn't know anyone who worked for the government doing what I wanted to do.
I can't really say I "regret" my choices -- because I'm in a life position that is a gazillion times better than many, MANY, if not most people. I'm not Tom Cruise famous, or Bill Gates rich.......but on the other hand no tragedies have befallen me, and life hasn't turned out bad at all. (And I've also changed my tune about being rich and FAMOUS. Now I'd much prefer to be rich and anonymous......a business owner who is loaded who can buy what I want -- and be the "millionaire next door."
ETA: reading my own post, I notice that I've made some decisions out of insecurities, and others that played to my strengths.....interesting.......looking back I wonder about certain choices, but at least I've sort of known -- "IN THE MOMENT" -- what I wanted and didn't want.
....How many of you wished you had followed your heart into a career or something else? Did you end up doing what your family wanted you to do?
I am seventy-seven, so this is looking a long stretch back.
Parents: The only occupations they (my mother actually) ever suggested were bank teller or teacher. Considering I was one of the worst math students in my class and hated math, the former is somewhat of a measure of how much what the family wanted me to do was not based wanting it for me. What my parents wanted and expected was that upon graduation from the university I would return to our small town to work and live, or at the worst live and work in a nearby city. That was it. They had an unhappy, hollow marriage and my departure would have left them facing the hell of life together without the one thing they had in common.
Following my heart: If what I said about my parents is damning, I can only balance that by saying my aspirations were as narrow, and lacking in either practicality or dream. My heart said only one thing, "FLEE!" I had no greater aspiration than that. I left home for NYC at the other end of the state with a new suit, a small suitcase and $50.00. My parents laughed at me and said I would be back in two weeks tops. It didn't happen. I took the first job offered to me, paying less than peanuts...and a small town young man began to get a street level education. (A few years ago I read Dos Passos' Manhattan Transfer, and despite being about a different era - this was just how it went for me in many respects.)
I had jobs, one after another for the first fifteen years, paying slightly more than survival salaries. Someone(s) spoke of following your dream in your spare time while having a career, I quickly came to consider 9-to-5 the spare time. And my dream became all the wonderful cultural opportunities and the opposite nitty-gritty things that I never got in a small town, and which I first learned about in the university. It was a life adventure that was glorious and fulfilling, and tough and horrible by turns. At various times I would have joyfully skipped the worst parts of it without a doubt, but there was never a choice at those points.
Looking back from my present age it looks like a wonderful exploring expedition that I wouldn't have wanted to miss for anything. And I can't see any way I could have excised the bad parts without the entire fabric of it unraveling.
Some women even feel pressure to be breadwinners - single or in a relationship.
I apologize in advance if I come off a bit testy.
Errr...ummm...your comment comes across as a bit patronizing.
How on earth do you EXPECT single women to act? We do not have a backup method of supporting ourselves. We do not have redundancy. We do not have the luxury of knowing that the bills will be paid even if we fall off a financial cliff.
Do you reaaally think that capable single women are going to go out into the world with no solid preparation, and deferentially buy into your vision that we should be working for "pin money"??? Waiting for somebody to "rescue" us?
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! ROTFLMAO!!!
We are IT, insofar as our safety net goes.
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and this is the only nonparent pleasing decision I've probably ever (I know hummm pathetic- I just always put my respect for them above myself but I'm working on evening that out) made as she is a huge dog and they completely wanted me to get a small one. She is the perfect dog for me. Rescuing her is literally the only thing I would do the same if I had to relive my life so that tells ya something about the importance of having the courage to follow your own path in life.
A bit of an update
