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... But, more often, our ‘next big things’ are lived vicariously through the lives of our children and grandchildren. Ultimately, retirees know that their next ‘big thing’ is the death of friends, family and themselves. But, that’s life! … OR IS IT?
The big D (no, not Dallas :-) seems not such a "big thing" to me anymore. As I've grown older, the thought of death first diminished to a trepidation from the sheer terror that it was in childhood. And, now it is simply the mute sadness that comes at the departure of those I know, part of the realization that they are gone forever from my life. But, I also find it easier to accept these deaths and go on with life.
As for the success and the accomplishments of the next generation, it too seems not all that important. Sure, their experiences, both good and bad, are nice to hear about, celebrate, be supportive of, etc., but, I feel like a detached and bemused observer than wishing that I had been part of it. Perhaps it's knowing that like me, they too may realize eventually that the "accomplishments" are momentary thrills of a particular stage in life and the journey counts more than the milestone or the destination attained at that moment.
An author I knew once told me that the act of publishing the book that she worked on long and hard was inevitably disappointing. As soon as it was published, she'd start worrying about the topic for the next book. It was the writing that mattered, not the book that came at the end of it. Perhaps that's what I now feel about significant milestones, or, the "next big thing". I hope that I'm done with any sort of "waiting for the next big thing" by the time that I retire and that thereafter, life is about pursuits that are meaningful and befitting my nature and sensibilities and not motivated by "transactional" arrangements or agreements ("I'll do this for you in return for X") that sets up expectations that something big (or even small) will happen.
So, yes, as others have said, I think it's all about going with the flow (into the estuary).
I really disliked my job. Every year I spent a lot of time deployed, no phone, no mail, no contact with the outside world, and what seemed like only brief visits with my family. It was very stressful, and pretty hazardous; but really most of it was 'waiting' for my pension.
Now that I have retired. I built a house and farm. The first crops I planted were fruit trees, so as we do other things, I am waiting for the orchard to begin producing. It takes so many years for these things to reach their maturity. I am glad that I did them first.
Perhaps, ours is a generation of 'poets' -- So many creative and insightful thoughts have already been expressed, for example:
ipoetry:
There is beauty in the little things, no waiting, just living, breathing and enjoying the moments as they come.
Jean Ji:
My milestones aren't always mine anymore . The milestones I'm waiting for now are the first smile, the first steps, the first words and unfortunately, the last smile, the last steps and final words from those near and dear to me. My milestones have taken a back seat to others. I've had my time and will continue to, but I'm not the focus as much anymore. --- I've been waiting to get over me.
EscortRider:
.....I wouldn't be satisfied if that were it; there would be some kind of a void, something missing.
....Beckett is able to create the sense of an aching longuing, of a waiting for something significant to happen. .... So in this OP, the same question is posed, albeit in a totally different way. What are we waiting for, really? How are we to conceive of our waiting philosophically? Does retirement change any of that?
augiedogie:
I've lived in anticipation of what was to come, and many times, it didn't happen. So I ignore "the predictors." They can't even predict the weather a week ahead. I make some preparations for the worst, but take care of business today.
Buc Fan:
....if anything, I'm waiting for tomorrow, then the day after, then the day after. In fact, I'm sad that the days are going by so quickly. I feel like time is wasting.
Fay111:
In our younger years we're all consumed with working, raising families, saving for retirement, etc. Now that is done and it's about enjoying the fruits of all that hard work. .....Overall, I'm finding this time in life very enjoyable and am quite happy not having to wait for anything.
LaVieQ
Perhaps it's knowing that like me, they too may realize eventually that the "accomplishments" are momentary thrills of a particular stage in life and the journey counts more than the milestone or the destination attained at that moment. VieQ
.....It was the writing that mattered, not the book that came at the end of it. Perhaps that's what I now feel about significant milestones, or, the "next big thing".
Me:
...As for me, I've looked back at how quickly the last 20-years have passed and thought, 'I'm not guaranteed another 20' ... Is there really time left to 'wait' for things (as the old schtik says: "I'm not even buying green bananas") --- Now the time to "do whatever IT is, while one still can" ... Yet, "It" is no longer as clear or compelling in retirement, as it seemed when I was only 'waiting to retire.'
I really disliked my job. Every year I spent a lot of time deployed, no phone, no mail, no contact with the outside world, and what seemed like only brief visits with my family. It was very stressful, and pretty hazardous; but really most of it was 'waiting' for my pension.
First, let me say I have enormous respect for those who served in submarines; you have to be specially selected for psychological stability and other factors, and the standard for your technical knowledge and skills is very high.
But why did you volunteer for submarines? Why did you stay with them? I know there is extra pay - was that the main reason?
Well on the surface, I'm waiting for my next adventures--going up to the cottage by the river for the whole summer and enjoying the outdoors; going back to Florida for the winter; flying to Barcelona in the fall then taking a transatlantic cruise; going to SE Asia for the first time next spring; going back to French Polynesia the fall after that. And so on. I like to have my future punctuated with adventures like this--it does feel good to have travel to look forward to.
Then there's the vain hope that my son will get married and produce progeny. Unlikelly, so I am not waiting for it, I've put it aside.
Beneath the surface there's the sense of not waiting for anything--being in the here and now and enjoying every minute if I can; seizing the day. And yes, there is a sense of when the other shoe will drop--death of close friends or family, serious debilitating or deadly illness, and ultimately death. I like to think I'm not afraid to die, but I sure am afraid to see others who are close to me die.
Meanwhile I am in fact having a lot of fun. I'll be up by that river in another week...
Retired military here - your post reminded me how I got through my year in Afghanistan. During some tough periods, I'd imagine my retirement (only a few years away from that point) to get me through it. It was a motivator. I used it a lot the closer I got to that final day.
Glad to read that you're enjoying the fruits of your labor, in more ways than one- thanks for your service.
First, let me say I have enormous respect for those who served in submarines; you have to be specially selected for psychological stability and other factors, and the standard for your technical knowledge and skills is very high.
But why did you volunteer for submarines? Why did you stay with them? I know there is extra pay - was that the main reason?
Two of my brothers were drafted into the Army. I graduated soon after the draft had ended. I was really into electronics, I was offered a scholarship to 'Bell and Howell' [who later became DeVry]. But subs seemed like the closest I could get to Star Trek.
I got out after 6 years and went to college. By my senior year I had shifted entirely to night classes [which allowed me to work f/t during the days], half of those classes were mostly grad students. Middle-aged men with E.E.s going for M.S.s in the hope of helping their career paths. As a group, they were mostly disenfranchised by many things. Ranging from the economy, job availability, the engineering field, the lack of employer loyalty, out-sourcing, and career ceilings. At mention of my being a vet, they constantly hounded me to go back in, for the benefits. The college had a Navy recruiter on-campus who started working on me as well. I went back into the Navy, with a goal of getting that pension.
The 'extra-pay'. Yes, that is also present
When I went back into the Navy, I began investing. We collected Multi-Family-Residences. One at each duty station [Tri-plexes and five-plexes].
Our goal was to be able to buy a farm with no mortgage after I retired.
I stayed focused on that goal. I was also very fortunate, many of the men I have served with, were disabled or died along the way.
Two of my brothers were drafted into the Army. I graduated soon after the draft had ended. I was really into electronics, I was offered a scholarship to 'Bell and Howell' [who later became DeVry]. But subs seemed like the closest I could get to Star Trek.
I got out after 6 years and went to college. By my senior year I had shifted entirely to night classes [which allowed me to work f/t during the days], half of those classes were mostly grad students. Middle-aged men with E.E.s going for M.S.s in the hope of helping their career paths. As a group, they were mostly disenfranchised by many things. Ranging from the economy, job availability, the engineering field, the lack of employer loyalty, out-sourcing, and career ceilings. At mention of my being a vet, they constantly hounded me to go back in, for the benefits. The college had a Navy recruiter on-campus who started working on me as well. I went back into the Navy, with a goal of getting that pension.
The 'extra-pay'. Yes, that is also present
When I went back into the Navy, I began investing. We collected Multi-Family-Residences. One at each duty station [Tri-plexes and five-plexes].
Our goal was to be able to buy a farm with no mortgage after I retired.
I stayed focused on that goal. I was also very fortunate, many of the men I have served with, were disabled or died along the way.
The really appealing thing about your approach is that it sounds like you are actually doing something to secure your future, instead of simply 'waiting' for it. As the commercial says, "Life comes at you fast!"
What I'm waiting for, but not to the exclusion of other activities, is for a director to decide to mount a play with a really juicy role for a woman of my age. There are some good ones that I'd love to audition for, but sadly, most of the younger directors are casting for younger and younger shows.
Meantime, I'm minding two granddaughters for the Summer months; just spent several days with my 20-year-old granddaughter; tending the yard; reading (love my Kindle!); and other odd, assorted duties of daily living.*
*Which reminds me: I have to get busy crocheting a bag for a grand's first pair of pointe shoes.
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