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Must agree w/ akck and pnw. I once moved to be closer to a loved one and then found myself abandoned in that city when they moved off and left me there. I swore I would never pick where to live based on others ideas of where they want to live. It has to be where I and my DH agree that we would love to be, because I can't base my life on the choices of others, no matter how much I care for them.
I am sorry about your experience. One of my disappointments after I retired was that my kids stopped visitin very often. At first I attributed it to new jobs with limited vacation time. But as they acquired wives, it became plain that money for plane fare was not a priority in their budgets. To be fair they are not raking in the big bucks.
So, we traveled to see them. We were always welcomed. When we were finally able to move, we were told by both how glad they were that we were here. And we have seen them and their families much more often in the last year that we could have in 5 years if we had stayed in the midwest.
We knew that we would not be able to expect daily contact. We knew that we would have to make our own friends, and find our own way. But this move has been great for us. It has worked out quite well. I am so glad we did it.
I am sorry about your experience. One of my disappointments after I retired was that my kids stopped visitin very often. At first I attributed it to new jobs with limited vacation time. But as they acquired wives, it became plain that money for plane fare was not a priority in their budgets. To be fair they are not raking in the big bucks.
So, we traveled to see them. We were always welcomed. When we were finally able to move, we were told by both how glad they were that we were here. And we have seen them and their families much more often in the last year that we could have in 5 years if we had stayed in the midwest.
We knew that we would not be able to expect daily contact. We knew that we would have to make our own friends, and find our own way. But this move has been great for us. It has worked out quite well. I am so glad we did it.
One thing we think might be happening is that once they get a wife, there is a tendency for them to see her family more. My FIL remarried and he sees her grown kids more than his own daughters. We have a son who is engaged and they see her family more often, but that's also because we live an airfare away. My wife is afraid this will be the norm with all our sons.
Good point. At my age (69) I would find the thought of moving to a different community rather daunting. I take for granted a support network (not huge, but if one calls on it only once a year, say, it's so nice to know it's there). I just drove one friend home from a colonoscopy about a month ago.
But perhaps once people have made the decision to move, they assume the task of making new friends will be equally difficult or equally easy no matter where they go. Not everyone lives near family before retirement, and some are moving closer to family. Others know that it is fairly easy to make new friends in a 55+ community.
One thing I have gleaned from reading here is that staying put is absolutely out of the question for some. It seems to me the two most common reasons are that they just can't continue to put up with the climate and that they need to find a lower cost of living location.
I feel lucky that I always knew I was already where I wanted to be and was therefore spared all the agonizing.
If you are on Medicare and considering relocating, you had best make sure you can get on with a new Primary Care doctor. My doc does not take any new Medicare patients. Also, you had better get yourself a doctor half your age or thereabouts. There is one gyn doc in this town who will see a Medicare patient and is not taking any new ones.
I could relocate and consider it but then as mentioned above, trying to start over with a support group is difficult: physicians (one PC and 4 specialists, lawyer ,garage, heating and air guy, known plumber, bank (they know me), etc. I've seen many a person ripped off on heat/air alone. I don't think I could replace this team.
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I could relocate and consider it but then as mentioned above, trying to start over with a support group is difficult: physicians (one PC and 4 specialists, lawyer ,garage, heating and air guy, known plumber, bank (they know me), etc. I've seen many a person ripped off on heat/air alone. I don't think I could replace this team.
If you are on Medicare and considering relocating, you had best make sure you can get on with a new Primary Care doctor. My doc does not take any new Medicare patients. Also, you had better get yourself a doctor half your age or thereabouts. There is one gyn doc in this town who will see a Medicare patient and is not taking any new ones.
I could relocate and consider it but then as mentioned above, trying to start over with a support group is difficult: physicians (one PC and 4 specialists, lawyer ,garage, heating and air guy, known plumber, bank (they know me), etc. I've seen many a person ripped off on heat/air alone. I don't think I could replace this team.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newenglandgirl
You nailed a really big relocation factor.
Ollie excellent posts. All the more reason for really thinking on moving. Especially as you get older. The older you get before the move the harder it will be. For example if you are considering relocating find people in the area that you can ask. Here on this forum are many people all nice and helpful. I will toss Rothbear out on this one as she was a darling. We took up easily an hour of her husband's time and hers? Well let me just say that the only thing she didn't cover about her community was the neighbor's cats and dogs. We loved it and you too! So knowing ahead before as we are doing makes sense. In fact as I am not retired yet and when I do (early by some people's standards), I will carry on health coverage at least in the early stages. That will make finding a doctor easier and we can transition into Medicare on our terms. All in all a move is not for everyone. Some people will be better served staying put as there is that safety net. There is the knowledge of services available and probably the ones you will need since that is the reason of the life made there.
I am beginning to wonder how many of us have made major moves before and if so the reason why and how far. I ended up going to college a distance from where I was raised and a 180 degree different environment. My now wife went to the same college and it was more similar for her. Neither of us went home after graduation and married later settling in a new state and location that we felt better suited our future opportunities and lifestyle. It was further from where we grew up. Our kids after graduating from college and working fairly close by packed up and relocated to where they could financially and professionally prosper. One who went west with his girlfriend moved back from San Fran to the East Coast each with enhanced resumes. We as a family have always viewed location as just the stage for our life story to,play out on. We knew going in to retirement that we had the resources to build what we wanted and that wasn't concrete, steel, pollution, noise, traffic and distance from amenities if that was the only way to escape crowded region. We have the beach two hours away and can go there at will. When we want we have the Triangle with shopping restuarants, theater and great medical services etc all within half hour drive. We have RDU airport and we have our yard and the quietness and safety of our neighborhood. Most of my neighbors are transplants and of the seven houses on our Cul-de-sac four are from the DC area. Nearby within site are mostly transplants. This was just another's transition stage we were able to plan and design for ourselves. It is interesting that we picked an area to raise our kids that we thought was a good professional fit for us and great to raise a family. They did likewise.
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