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Old 10-07-2014, 05:42 PM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,364,195 times
Reputation: 5911

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My husband has been fantasizing about retirement for DECADES and now it's getting closer.

He's highly intelligent and has a GREAT job (litigator), but it's stressful and demanding. It's also a prestigious position, and he's at the top of the heap.

On the weekends, he sits around and does very little. Sometimes, he mows the grass. Most of the time, he watches TV or reads a book. He reads a LOT. He sits for hours, not even stirring.

He swears up and down that when he retires, he's just going to sit around and LOAF, as in do absolutely nothing. And some might say, "Oh, he'll get bored with that."

I don't think so. He prides himself in his "zen-like ability" to sit in one spot for long, long periods of time.

After seven days of vacation at home, I can honestly report that he really is content to sit around like a bump on a log and do absolutely NOT ONE THING.

My question is, I've heard that men who retire and have a hobby or a part-time job live much longer than those who just sit around. Can someone post some real-world experience with this? Or maybe direct me to an article?

I'm desperate to motivate him to go find something to DO rather than sit around. Plus, I work from home and he will drive me to hard liquor if he's underfoot 24/7.

Thanks.
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Old 10-07-2014, 05:55 PM
 
5,071 posts, read 5,419,240 times
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This is who he is. You've obviously known this for how many years? And now you want him to change??????? Yeah, let us know how that works for you.
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Old 10-07-2014, 05:57 PM
 
86,171 posts, read 83,691,556 times
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well i did read a story about a study that said that men who tend to get under their wifes skin tend to live shorter lives then their wives.
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:05 PM
 
5,071 posts, read 5,419,240 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mathjak107 View Post
well i did read a story about a study that said that men who tend to get under their wifes skin tend to live shorter lives then their wives.
There you go! Your prayers have been answered.
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:11 PM
 
Location: Miraflores
813 posts, read 984,483 times
Reputation: 1627
What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:12 PM
 
48,508 posts, read 88,747,434 times
Reputation: 18192
I think you need to plan to get out of the house; at least at first.
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:20 PM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
10,185 posts, read 6,037,674 times
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Even though you think he won't get bored with doing nothing, I think that is exactly what he will do.

Consider that when he is on a 7 day vacation, he is taking a break from a stressful job. Once he is retired he will no longer be taking a break. He may well enjoy a period of de-stressing, but the rest of his life? Unlikely. He's not a lazy, unambitious person. If he were, he'd not have made it through law school.
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:22 PM
 
11,376 posts, read 47,217,060 times
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There's the looming self-esteem issues which may show up when there's nothing to look forward to during retirement.

It's anecdotal, of course ... But every one of my friends/ contemporaries who worked very hard, many at jobs they truly hated for years and were happy to retire to do "nothing" for a change ... All passed away within a couple of years. They really had nothing to look forward to.

OTOH, all of the others who had hobbies, sel-employment sideline businesses .... Are still alive and generally enjoying their retirement.

For me, it's working my farm and ranch, still rep'ing products, and staying very active with my plane and motorcycles and boats. There's more than a lifetime of projects ahead for me. And my wife does't have to worry about me being underfoot.
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Old 10-07-2014, 06:38 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,393 posts, read 3,888,931 times
Reputation: 3932
Mine is the same way. I
come up with plans to do something most days.
He's willing to tag along thank god.

Can't imagine how much weight he'd gain if I let him be.
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Old 10-07-2014, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Near a river
16,042 posts, read 20,108,340 times
Reputation: 15725
Quote:
Originally Posted by RosemaryT View Post
My husband has been fantasizing about retirement for DECADES and now it's getting closer.

He's highly intelligent and has a GREAT job (litigator), but it's stressful and demanding. It's also a prestigious position, and he's at the top of the heap.

On the weekends, he sits around and does very little. Sometimes, he mows the grass. Most of the time, he watches TV or reads a book. He reads a LOT. He sits for hours, not even stirring.

He swears up and down that when he retires, he's just going to sit around and LOAF, as in do absolutely nothing. And some might say, "Oh, he'll get bored with that."

I don't think so. He prides himself in his "zen-like ability" to sit in one spot for long, long periods of time.

After seven days of vacation at home, I can honestly report that he really is content to sit around like a bump on a log and do absolutely NOT ONE THING.

My question is, I've heard that men who retire and have a hobby or a part-time job live much longer than those who just sit around. Can someone post some real-world experience with this? Or maybe direct me to an article?

I'm desperate to motivate him to go find something to DO rather than sit around. Plus, I work from home and he will drive me to hard liquor if he's underfoot 24/7.

Thanks.
With that kind of immobility he could well get a blood clot or have a heart event. I would stress that, and show him reports.
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