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Lily4, Larry, and Harpaint -- it's tremendously helpful to hear your experiences with this. Thank you for responding!
I think I might need a full year, at least. The pain of my stressful work life feels so raw to me. At this time, it's like I've been stricken with paralysis and am powerless to accomplish anything.
I *need* to do the cleaning out / organizing, as Lily mentions, but I'm even feeling too lazy to do that right now. It's not that I'm not delighted to retire and not be doing my job any more, but I find this lingering lethargy rather unnerving.
Harpaint - I hope to regain the energy and enthusiasm that you have found. Right now being in quiet places seems to help. I feel like I need to recover from years of *noise*.
It's absolutely fine to be useless for awhile. By the time I retired at age 62, burnout was a big factor. Of my 45 years of work, eight had been spent in the military, another eight as a cop and my last 20 in the fast-paced, stressful and demanding world of politics - not as an elected anything but having to deal with those who were. In the end I'd just had it.
My first year were spent finalizing our plans to move to another state, flying there looking around and house hunting then the fun of getting everything packed and moved then throwing our pets and bags in the car and making the 2,000 mile drive. By then, burn out was a distant memory. The next two years were a whirlwind of traveling to visit children and grandchildren in other states, exploring our new one, creating beds for flower and vegetable gardening, personalizing our home, etc.
But just as we were ready to get involved in some volunteer endeavors, my health headed south almost overnight. Six months of testing and hope and poke medicine, then a good diagnosis and hours of neurosurgery and....well....volunteer work was out of the question. Now, at age 68 I only have back about half of the function I'd lost and meanwhile my wife had very serious, emergency surgery and developed an autoimmune disorder so we're not going to be "working" anytime soon.
I tell you all this to emphasize that some wind-down time is good and appropriate. However, don't put off for too long doing those things you may one day wish to do. "Too late" can really creep up on you or even strike at a moment's notice.
The guilt and the worry are part of the stress you seek to leave behind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by curmudgette
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Is it okay to be useless for a while?
[quote=LarryG;38219384]..................
Congratulations on your retirement, and don't let anyone tell you what you are "supposed to do". We each need to find the path that works for us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by curmudgette
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I think I might need a full year, at least. The pain of my stressful work life feels so raw to me. At this time, it's like I've been stricken with paralysis and am powerless to accomplish anything.........
First, yes, it is okay to be useless for a while. That question is your guilt talking. Just as it will take some time to de-stress, it may take some time to let the quilt ebb. LarryG's two sentences which I quoted may help in that regard.
Second, why worry about how much time it will take? As you say, you may "need a full year, at least". That is (again) your guilt talking. You may amaze yourself to find that it only took three months, or, who knows, it may take two years instead of one. The concern about the length of time is just one aspect of getting over your stress. As you are able to relax more, and more completely, I think that concern will fade away.
In the long run, you may find that you wish to be "useful" again in some less committed ways than a full-time job. If that turns out to be the case, you will be able to take steps in that direction, but why worry about it now?
Burn out means different things to different people. Some teach or do other jobs and never burn out as its called. Stress is also relative and individual. Nothing like say the terror our troops go thru. I think weary of doing job and stress relief is instant.
We have over a year before we retire. I already told her, we are going to do nothing that smacks of "work" for 2 years after. We plan to travel and visit family once we get all our affairs in order.
"Right now I just want to spend my days useless and unproductive. The most exciting thing I did today was to photograph a green anole lizard as he changed from green to brown, and I got tremendous joy from that.
Is it okay to be useless for a while? "
Absolutely !! That is the great part about retiring, nowhere to be, no one waiting for you, no pressures, zip, zilch, zero !
I've retired twice (back working again, but that was simply because I got bored) and there were parts about retirement I LOVED. No alarm clock in the morning, got to nap on the couch curled up with a cat or two, caught up on Judge Judy, had all day to run errands, and just having no set schedule and no one looking for me to be anywhere.
Enjoy your time, don't feel you have to be "productive", and when you get bored with that you will find other things to occupy your day.
Wow, teacher stress and burn out.
May I suggest...each morning saying something like, "It's over! I'm free!!" And then place a deliberate smile on your face
before you get outta bed.
Something about the brain and a smile changes chemistry or something....
try it for a few days...you'll see.
Then, plan on doing 'something' each day that is wildly fun for you...could
be going to a matinee... getting coffee with a good book in a
coffee place that has comfy chairs....just 'something' different and freeing.
This will retrain your mind that life was meant to be enjoyed and pleasant.
And please, watch a few comedies/movies...you need to laugh and get your body used
to this new freedom! And to get memories of your old stress washed away!
You might even say words like, "Humans were meant to enjoy life...
Humans were meant to enjoy life, I came here to enjoy life."
Just to help you become the new you.
Your life and happiness come first now.
(25 years ago ...my first therapy session...the therapist sent me home
to say each day till next visit...."Susan's" (my) needs come first. 10 xs a day...huh?
Well, after about 3 days...I recognized what those needs WERE, instead of taking
care of everyone else...old issue. Those repetitious phrases actually work, who knew?)
The first 3 months or so I was compulsively cleaning, sorting, downsizing, repairing, etc the house. Then I traveled for three months.
Then I felt up to par
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