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Old 02-01-2015, 06:07 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,719 posts, read 16,739,852 times
Reputation: 41862

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Just this past week I had a checkup and my Doctor said "there is a reason women live 7 years longer than men.........they tend to take better care of themselves." And he is right, I only go when I am REALLY worried about something, and women seem to go to make sure there are no problems on the horizon.

Don
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Old 02-01-2015, 06:58 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 4,307,139 times
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Express to him your concern about his health. Is it possible for you to talk him into "romantic walks in the evenings". If you can get him to walk for 30 min./day that will help tremendously.

Like most cases, you're probably going to outlive him. Increase that life insurance policy and make sure it'll take care of you!
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Old 02-01-2015, 07:08 AM
 
Location: SW MO
23,593 posts, read 37,364,888 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayarea4 View Post
I have explained to him that his failure to take care of his health might become a financial, physical and emotional burden on me, but it's like talking to a brick wall.
Obviously that's a very thick wall. I have somewhat of the same problem with my wife regarding a different issue but whatever the issue, clearly we can't always prevail with such appeals. I know from first-hand experience how frustrating that can be and hope that somehow, sometime you break through the fog and get to him, or someone else does. It's hell to love someone and be powerless to save them from themselves.
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Old 02-01-2015, 10:04 AM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 10,717,347 times
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FYI no carbs no sugar the weight falls off...Google the Stillman's Quick Weight Loss diet. Boring but effective, ne excersize needed unless you want to lose it faster.

I sympathize OP and those in the same boat, DH needs a new hip but won't do it. It's going to be a tough road ahead, but if it were me he would support my decision. But not getting around won't shorten his life like diabetes will.

The one thing I do say that seems to sink in and makes him consider having surgery down the road at some point is, 'Hey, I'm selfish. I love you and I want you around as long as possible.'
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Old 02-01-2015, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
18,748 posts, read 11,735,644 times
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orngcat become high octane. My husband was the same way when he was younger. Way too sedentary. I started riding my bike and raving about how much fun it was. He became interested and started riding with me. We do 14 miles a couple of times a week. We share a stationary bike in the winter. I started roller skating with the kids and raved about how much fun it is. He became interested and now we have our own skates and skate every Friday morning from 10am til noon. I started ice skating with the kids, he became interested and now we have our own skates. I wanted to take a ski lesson for my 48th birthday. Well okay that was a bit of a disaster, but he loves it and we ski regularly. I wanted dogs and dogs need to be walked. We were out in the snow until 2am for an hour + walkies. Yes he was asleep for that one but I frequently get him off the couch for long romantic walkies with the boys. It's human nature ti not want to be left out of fun activities. Men are no exception the big babies that they are. Sorry guys but it's true in many many cases. Nagging, pleading, threatening won't work. Take him by the hand and plant those seeds in a different way and see if anything sprouts. Change is always better if they think it's their own idea. Since this is a G rated forum I won't talk about sexercise but I will tell you that high octane pays off in a lot of ways. Especially since I was up all night and John is an early riser, well you'll have to read between the lines on that one.
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Old 02-01-2015, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Midwest
1,540 posts, read 1,119,687 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicet4 View Post


But it is amazing what simple exercise can do. I don't do a big workout but keep it simple... the best thing I can do is go twice daily for 20 minutes and walk briskly, I define that as 1.2 miles in 20 minutes, on the treadmill. That's it, that is all I do and I can watch the news while I do it.
.


Get him a big dog and make him walk it.....
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Old 02-01-2015, 02:30 PM
 
3,205 posts, read 2,608,598 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 68551 View Post
Get him a big dog and make him walk it.....
If he loves the dog this really can work.
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Old 02-01-2015, 04:38 PM
 
Location: in the miseries
3,575 posts, read 4,492,541 times
Reputation: 4411
Quote:
Originally Posted by rugrats2001 View Post
If he loves the dog this really can work.
My bh loved our dogs, but never walked them.
He has same issues as the OPs husband, but will do nothing.
Just deteriorate.
I'm as healthy as a hoss, though.
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Old 02-01-2015, 04:47 PM
 
Location: UpstateNY
8,612 posts, read 10,717,347 times
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Maybe try to find something that gives him purpose? We all need to be needed. JMHO.
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Old 02-01-2015, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Anchored in Phoenix
1,942 posts, read 4,557,399 times
Reputation: 1784
Shoot. I feel far less fortunate than your spouse. I had to get put on BP medicine and synthroid in my early 50s and now have glaucoma. I'm taking prescriptions for three different things now, despite having flat abs and being thin from my late teens and an exercise fanatic. I just was not on the proper diet during the last four decades. Now I have to eat the Mediterranean diet to maintain healthy HDL and low LDL - and do cardio workouts of at least 40 minutes per day.

What bothers me is that you married your spouse for the vows "in sickness and in health," etc. Those vows are very well honed over time and recognize that two people are each individuals - not one unit. The vows recognize that there could be wide divergence over time. It always gets to me when someone says that they cannot accept the change they see in their spouse.

Everyone who marries, no matter what age, should really study what marriage means. It means commitment in good times and bad times. If you are not willing to commit and compromise, don't get married.

Disclaimer: I was never married but had a long time live-in girlfriend and I learned about what compromise was all about. I wanted none of it myself.
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