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I've posted many times about my concerns about growing old ("alone") and being car-dependent. I also, when I built my house, felt very clever for not putting anything critical upstairs. My bedroom and main bath are on the first floor, a guest area/bath and computer desk are upstairs.
So last week (just as I turned 57, another year closer to retirement!) one of my adopted dogs (I adopt seniors) was fighting outside with a new addition, a little guy. I saw blood flying, grabbed a blanket, and put it around her head to pull her off the little guy. She came at me full-bore, ripped my ankle and then stopped. I had to call an ambulance and the police had animal control take her to my vet's kennel, where she will be euthanized Monday. (She had badly injured my other smaller dog two months ago, but it seems that the smaller gal was starting the trouble. Still, the bigger gal finished the fight, with blood and a bang). I have a three-inch laceration on my ankle that goes down to the muscle faschia.
So there I am in the ER, hardly able to walk. I tried to call a co-worker friend, and her cell service was messed up. I called a neighbor/friend, who came and picked me up, and who went into the pharmacy for my medications. Both people work at least full-time- the neighbor during the day, the other friend third plus grad school. I hate to impose.
The second day, my co-worker friend found me a good cane and brought a pizza over, and asked what she could do. I asked her to pick up the dog dishes, since I was afraid to carry glass. And bring the mail in. And mail some bills.
I called the neighbor another day to bring another pizza and some bandage supplies.
I couldn't shower or drive for a week. I could walk around the first floor with the cane and with a lot of pain for the first few days. Then the antibiotics seemed to help, so I could go outside and open the gate to the big yard for the dogs. (I have a small yard that is right outside the back door- always figured, I could always sprain an ankle, and didn't want to rely on walks.)
After a week, I could drive (and I drive a stick shift- my right foot had been swollen like a clubfoot. I had to think about how one actually drives, and have thought that maybe I should have an automatic when I'm older).
I have to drive about six miles every day for two weeks or so for IV antibiotics. I've used a valet parking service at the hospital and hospital volunteers for wheelchair transport to the infusion center. At my health plan, I park in a handicapped spot (although don't have a sticker) and use my cane and the elevator to get to my appointments.
I am fairly astonished at how compromised I am for one injury. I wonder about worse compromise, injury or just infirmity. I tell this long story (if you're still reading!) to show the many ways any infirmity can affect the simplest of daily manuvers (stand to cook? Nah. Carry glass dish? Nah.) I am glad to live so close to good medical care, even though I must drive. There is one woman who has a business to drive people to hospital, but to go every day, that would cost. However, if I really couldn't drive, I'd have to do it- can't expect anyone to take that kind of time off work to sport me around. I also am not accustomed AT ALL to be taken care of or asking for help. It has been a real eye-opener in many ways and shows me a bit of what I might need when old (not just older, but old-and-compromised, should that happen).
Brightdoglover -
I've been a lurker and sometimes poster on these boards for about a year now, and I sort of feel like I know you. I am so sorry to hear of this. I live in the Chicago area, but if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know. Glorida
So sorry for your ankle and the dog that could not be rehabilitated. I. Know what you mean by how an injury like that makes the simplest things very difficult. I had periods when an ankle was out and later my shoulder. I decided it was better to be able to walk. Easier to have one arm working than not to be able to walk. Hope you heal soon.
sorry about your situation, and that you have to lose your pet, that's a double whammy!
Welcome to my world! I've lived with RA (rheumatoid arthritis) for about 20+years, and I've learned to engineer my environment for self-sufficiency. Things others would not even consider I must plan around, like a walk-in shower, raised toilet seats, one-story home, etc. I even use small trash cans and no more than 13-gallon bags so I don't overstuff any one load to the point I can't carry it.
Recently (about 3 months ago) I fell and broke a lower vertebra, which required surgery. I was able to live alone (except for my 12-year old daughter), due to my planning. I already had equipment, set ups, etc. It was tough! I could drive short distances. Its amazing what you can do from a drive thru window. I conducted banking, picked up perscriptions, and many times got fed through the drive thrus. Yes, I know, fast food isn't the healthiest, but it beats not eating at all! When I improved somewhat, I drove my dd to the grocery store, sent her in with a simple list and cash, and she bought basic items, like milk, bread, etc. She'd shopped with me so knew the store.
BTW, I have a dh and ds, but they live in another city and come home on weekends, we're trying to relocate, but my environment is set up so I can function alone, and it paid off, otherwise, I don't know what I would have done!
My point on this retirement thread, as you plan for retirement, think ahead to maximize independence. Think twice about that quaint little house in the country, miles from services, infrastructure, etc, that's two stories, with the fridge in the basement. I've had half my lfe to fine tune living with a disability, but we all will face such issues if God grants we live so long. And, like the OP found out, people aren't able/willing to help out on a more than one-time basis, if that much. There is no "someone" to come to your aid, you have to plan for it.
I've worked in nursing homes, retirement communities, etc, over the years as an aide, volunteer, etc, and many of our residents really didn't have to be there but for lack of an environment they could function in. Plan with the future in mind!
You need to beome less of a tnender of those animals and think of the futre reallyMy wife and I have anials but there are two of us;plus we have others that would tend them if we say were in a ccident. The if i were you i would plan to have my affairs inorder long before te normal invalid condition could strike you.No oe can paln for the sudeen at a yuong age very well witout someone to manage your affirs in that case. I would get adviceform a coucilor on aging to se what palns you can make for your situations.I ow its hard t gie up the pet dependents but it might be best even for themj if somethig does happen to you where you cannot tend them.
sorry about your situation, and that you have to lose your pet, that's a double whammy!
Welcome to my world! I've lived with RA (rheumatoid arthritis) for about 20+years, and I've learned to engineer my environment for self-sufficiency. Things others would not even consider I must plan around, like a walk-in shower, raised toilet seats, one-story home, etc. I even use small trash cans and no more than 13-gallon bags so I don't overstuff any one load to the point I can't carry it.
Recently (about 3 months ago) I fell and broke a lower vertebra, which required surgery. I was able to live alone (except for my 12-year old daughter), due to my planning. I already had equipment, set ups, etc. It was tough! I could drive short distances. Its amazing what you can do from a drive thru window. I conducted banking, picked up perscriptions, and many times got fed through the drive thrus. Yes, I know, fast food isn't the healthiest, but it beats not eating at all! When I improved somewhat, I drove my dd to the grocery store, sent her in with a simple list and cash, and she bought basic items, like milk, bread, etc. She'd shopped with me so knew the store.
BTW, I have a dh and ds, but they live in another city and come home on weekends, we're trying to relocate, but my environment is set up so I can function alone, and it paid off, otherwise, I don't know what I would have done!
My point on this retirement thread, as you plan for retirement, think ahead to maximize independence. Think twice about that quaint little house in the country, miles from services, infrastructure, etc, that's two stories, with the fridge in the basement. I've had half my lfe to fine tune living with a disability, but we all will face such issues if God grants we live so long. And, like the OP found out, people aren't able/willing to help out on a more than one-time basis, if that much. There is no "someone" to come to your aid, you have to plan for it.
I've worked in nursing homes, retirement communities, etc, over the years as an aide, volunteer, etc, and many of our residents really didn't have to be there but for lack of an environment they could function in. Plan with the future in mind!
This post makes excellent points. It is a certainty that we will need help, if not from injury, but definitely from infirmities of age. So plan now.
I have mobility problems due to many medical problems. I live in a ranch home but I do have a basement. Adding grab bars in key locations in the house is a necessity down the stairs, at the doors, and should be a code requirement in the bathroom.
I use a cane and a rollator/walker. The small base canes are very good when I need more support, especially going over snow or ice. I have several canes and keep them at key locations in the house, near my bed, my chair etc. so they are there when I need the assistance.
I agree it is not a good idea to live in that idyllic home in the country as you age and need more medical care. It is real shocking how many retirees want to live in small mountain communities in Colorado. They forget that Colorado does not have sufficient medical care over the big distances in sparsely settled areas and high mountains. Most times you have to go into the front range cities to see specialist and get tests with expensive machines that are not everywhere.
I keep saying that easy access to health care and public transportation is very important as you get old. I hear so many people say--I will never take a bus, I always drive. Yet, they forget that they may not always be able to drive. The availability of senior vans and disability para-transit is very important and is not always available in more remote areas.
You can also help by getting regular checkups;keep at a good weight and exercising as part of your avoidance planning. Many health problems can be avoided which is always a good part of any plan.Others can be solved if caught early enough.
I've posted many times about my concerns about growing old ("alone") and being car-dependent. I also, when I built my house, felt very clever for not putting anything critical upstairs. My bedroom and main bath are on the first floor, a guest area/bath and computer desk are upstairs.
So last week (just as I turned 57, another year closer to retirement!) one of my adopted dogs (I adopt seniors) was fighting outside with a new addition, a little guy. I saw blood flying, grabbed a blanket, and put it around her head to pull her off the little guy. She came at me full-bore, ripped my ankle and then stopped. I had to call an ambulance and the police had animal control take her to my vet's kennel, where she will be euthanized Monday. (She had badly injured my other smaller dog two months ago, but it seems that the smaller gal was starting the trouble. Still, the bigger gal finished the fight, with blood and a bang). I have a three-inch laceration on my ankle that goes down to the muscle faschia.
So there I am in the ER, hardly able to walk. I tried to call a co-worker friend, and her cell service was messed up. I called a neighbor/friend, who came and picked me up, and who went into the pharmacy for my medications. Both people work at least full-time- the neighbor during the day, the other friend third plus grad school. I hate to impose.
The second day, my co-worker friend found me a good cane and brought a pizza over, and asked what she could do. I asked her to pick up the dog dishes, since I was afraid to carry glass. And bring the mail in. And mail some bills.
I called the neighbor another day to bring another pizza and some bandage supplies.
I couldn't shower or drive for a week. I could walk around the first floor with the cane and with a lot of pain for the first few days. Then the antibiotics seemed to help, so I could go outside and open the gate to the big yard for the dogs. (I have a small yard that is right outside the back door- always figured, I could always sprain an ankle, and didn't want to rely on walks.)
After a week, I could drive (and I drive a stick shift- my right foot had been swollen like a clubfoot. I had to think about how one actually drives, and have thought that maybe I should have an automatic when I'm older).
I have to drive about six miles every day for two weeks or so for IV antibiotics. I've used a valet parking service at the hospital and hospital volunteers for wheelchair transport to the infusion center. At my health plan, I park in a handicapped spot (although don't have a sticker) and use my cane and the elevator to get to my appointments.
I am fairly astonished at how compromised I am for one injury. I wonder about worse compromise, injury or just infirmity. I tell this long story (if you're still reading!) to show the many ways any infirmity can affect the simplest of daily manuvers (stand to cook? Nah. Carry glass dish? Nah.) I am glad to live so close to good medical care, even though I must drive. There is one woman who has a business to drive people to hospital, but to go every day, that would cost. However, if I really couldn't drive, I'd have to do it- can't expect anyone to take that kind of time off work to sport me around. I also am not accustomed AT ALL to be taken care of or asking for help. It has been a real eye-opener in many ways and shows me a bit of what I might need when old (not just older, but old-and-compromised, should that happen).
Very sorry to hear of your ordeal, but your post does have great value as you stated, an "eye opener". I had a stroke in 1993 and lost the sight in one eye. I quickly went from a very independent person to a pissed-off, physically compromised person stumbling around. Fortunately, I had some help driving to the lab, MRI, and the many specialists I had to see that were spread all over the city. No matter how you structure your environment to prepare, and no matter how good your support network, NOTHING can prepare you for the shock of losing your independence.
You can also help by getting regular checkups;keep at a good weight and exercising as part of your avoidance planning. Many health problems can be avoided which is always a good part of any plan.Others can be solved if caught early enough.
We spend more time balancing our portfolio than paying attention to our health. Just losing 10 poinds and gettinh my blood sugar under control (which I'm woring on), can add more to your life than any sum of money!
I hope you are on the mend. You bring up some good points. No matter how healthy a lifestyle we may maintain, there is always the possibility of injuries such as the one you sustained or the onset of an unavoidable illness.
I have a disease that has slowly getting worse over the years and will continue to do so. I try to exercise and eat as healthy as I can but that in itself won't hold off the continuing debilitation. So although many of the retirement places mentioned here sound wonderful, I have to think of whether or not there is good public transportation, convenient stores, senior transportation services and the like in my relocation plans.
If anyone is planning to relocate for retirement, these types of things should be a concern. One never knows when what seems to be a mere convenience now will wind up being an actual necessity later.
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Oh My!
