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I'm very new to retirement, I'm sure things will look different as time goes by.
But here I am in my first week, and I've had one big surprise. It's surprising how many people want to make you feel bad about retiring. Anyone else having this experience, and what do you think it means?
At first, I was very open about telling people I'm newly retired. Maybe that was just because I was trying to come to terms with it, myself. I thought most people would say something like "congratulations" or ask what my plans were.
To my surprise, 2-3 people have acted offended! They seem to take it as a personal slap in the face, and say things like "you will hate it" "you'll be so bored you'll want to to die" "you're going to run out of money, you know..."
What's up with this? Even if such comments were truthful (and they aren't, IMO) what good does it do? I can't push a button and undo my situation. Honestly, do these same people say things like this to a new mother? "I see you have a newborn baby, you'll hate it."
Ah well, life is full of surprises. And for now, maybe my retirement will be something to keep in the closet... until I see how other people announce it and learn better ways.
I see you're in the DC metro area. It is a high cost of living area and folks have long commutes.
Since I just moved from there (not retired) I would have been very jealous to hear of someone lucky enough to retire. But, my comments would not have been harsh, just "Darn you're lucky! Wish I could retire from this rat race too"!
Maybe you're just getting a little jealousy to your new situation.
I see you're in the DC metro area. It is a high cost of living area and folks have long commutes.
Since I just moved from there (not retired) I would have been very jealous to hear of someone lucky enough to retire. But, my comments would not have been harsh, just "Darn you're lucky! Wish I could retire from this rat race too"!
Maybe you're just getting a little jealousy to your new situation.
Hi--welcome to our forum. I see you are from Ft. Mill. I've always wondered what it was like to live there. It looks like an interesting place (and a smart place to be--you get all the tax advantages of SC but rae part of the Charlotte metro area).
Any, back to the jealousy. Yes, I suppose that's what it is. I guess the surprise of it all was what stung the most. It doesn't both me as much now that I'm expecting some people might act that what. And you know what--it really doesn't matter. The beauty of being retired is that I no longer need to worry about what people think. I don't need to get approval so I can get their business. I don't need to kiss butt to get a raise. I can wear anything I like, and it won't go on my job performance evaluation. Now that's freedom.
Yes, I've only recently started reading the retirement forum - I've been over on the Charlotte/York County SC forums.
Yes, Fort Mill is an up and coming suburb of Charlotte - great schools, low taxes, affordable housing, and a good combo of rural and suburban. There seems to be quite a few retirees heading here - we have a Sun City nearby and a Four Seasons community in Ft Mill. We like it so far. It is a major change from NoVa - no hour long train commutes, I-66 backups, etc.
Let me just say "Congratulations on your retirement!" I hope to be able to retire in about 12 years myself, but since leaving DC that aura of pure desperation to "get out" has left! I'm glad you're enjoying your new situation.
I'm very new to retirement, I'm sure things will look different as time goes by.
But here I am in my first week, and I've had one big surprise. It's surprising how many people want to make you feel bad about retiring. Anyone else having this experience, and what do you think it means?
At first, I was very open about telling people I'm newly retired. Maybe that was just because I was trying to come to terms with it, myself. I thought most people would say something like "congratulations" or ask what my plans were.
To my surprise, 2-3 people have acted offended! They seem to take it as a personal slap in the face, and say things like "you will hate it" "you'll be so bored you'll want to to die" "you're going to run out of money, you know..."
What's up with this? Even if such comments were truthful (and they aren't, IMO) what good does it do? I can't push a button and undo my situation. Honestly, do these same people say things like this to a new mother? "I see you have a newborn baby, you'll hate it."
Ah well, life is full of surprises. And for now, maybe my retirement will be something to keep in the closet... until I see how other people announce it and learn better ways.
I fully understand what you are saying and why they are upset. You are doing what they can't do. DC is a very expensive area and folks often can't afford to retire and never developed a plan. They were so busy keeping up with the high cost of living. We were able to sell our house and relocate and are in great shape. I was very low key about retiring because I could tell how people were reacting. The best conversation I has was with someone who said " I am envious of you but not jealous and resentful". They concured that most are envious, jealous and bitter. People want to hear you say you have to work to be able to survive. Enjoy you have earned it. I am just into my first month like you and it is awesome.
Yes, people do tell pregnant women all kinds of horror stories about giving birth and raising children. It is called tearing down someone else to make yourself feel better - not very nice. But as you said, you don't have to care and can avoid such people because you are completely free. Congratulations on your retirement and may you have a long and happy time of it. I'm still biding my time until my turn comes.
DC is a very expensive area and folks often can't afford to retire and never developed a plan. They were so busy keeping up with the high cost of living.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TuborgP
The best conversation I has was with someone who said " I am envious of you but not jealous and resentful". They concured that most are envious, jealous and bitter. People want to hear you say you have to work to be able to survive.
It's so strange to hear thoughts like this, to realize that life here can be so stressful for some people that they feel a need to cut other people down.
I don't get it--I've lived here for many years and it never seemed that stressful to me. I had plenty of time to start a successful business, raise a family, volunteer at a museum, and participate in community groups. Believe me, I'm not super woman.
My neighbors seem relaxed--I guess I was very lucky to choose a mellow place to live, because apparently in other neighborhoods people overdo whole competition thing. Sad, when you see the affect it's having on them. Their anger hurts them much more than it hurts me. Life is too short to give yourself an ulcer like that.
What's up with this? Even if such comments were truthful (and they aren't, IMO) what good does it do? I can't push a button and undo my situation. Honestly, do these same people say things like this to a new mother? "I see you have a newborn baby, you'll hate it.
That cracked me up!!! I know some people who WOULD say something like that.
Actually, your post made me think about what I might sound like sometimes. When I meet someone who is retired I might ask them what they do with themselves all day... but I really do want to know, because I might want to retire in the next year or two and I am looking for ideas of things to do, but they might interpret it as criticism rather than curiousity.
So, when people say anything about you retiring just tell them "Well, it was either that or have a baby... and i am told I would hate that!"
Enjoy your leisure. You earned it.
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I don't need to kiss butt to get a raise. 
I to just retired from the DC area
